Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Living in NYC is a very special opportunity-the energy of NYC can not be duplicated anywhere else. But yes, it can change you and yes, you will grow thick skin (or like me, you may just be very disappointed). I used to write poetry (about love) before I moved to NYC and found that after a very short period of time, I just could not write anymore. Life is too fast and people are generally too rude there. The economical worries and the fight for survival takes a toll.
PS: I don't live in NY anymore.
One small example: when we were going to swipe our metro card to enter subway entrance, a huge crowd just got off a train and were exiting. Every turnstile was occupied by people coming out, one after another, not a single person paused to let those of us waiting to enter to use the turnstile.
Born and raised in Queens, NY....Long Island City, Maspeth, Rosedale, Woodside, Lindenwood.....
I am very impatient and disheartened....that's what getting older will do to you...as well as CONSTANT traffic....and yes, outside of Manhattan....everyone owns a car.....subway preachers disrupting your morning nap.....thug-wanna-bes and other low-lives taking up more than one seat on an already crowded subway....a beautiful block in Bayside, NY being ruined by a graffiti-laden brick wall.....asking a person for directions to a bus stop/adddress..etc. and realizing they don't speak or understand one word of English....coming out of the store to see someone backing into the front bumper of your pristine car while trying to get out of their parking spot.......having the girl that lives in the condo unit above you NOT installing mandatory carpet resulting in you hearing her sexual eploits.....rowdy/disrespectful/profanity spewing teenagers on the buses/subways
Hmmmm....with all that said, if you are a young person, there is no doubt you would find all of these afore mentioned "things" exciting.....gritty...energetic.....part of the NY experience...etc. ....and yes, you will have a BALL if you moved here......
AND...incidentally, I cannot seem to decide whether I want to stay or leave myself, because, yes, while alot of the time I get sick of NY...the times that I love it....August sunsets on the strip at Astoria Park....the beer garden in L.I.C......live bands in the "Vil"......block parties in Broad Channel...where when you look to your left you see the A train...and when you look to the right you see the Jamaica Bay.....feasts, feasts, and more feasts....lol...that complete stranger who handed me a tissue in the subway station after I puked up my "liquid lunch".....or that complete stranger on the N train who handed me a tissue to wipe the tears I couldn't keep from crying over yet another boyfriend who broke my heart....lol......
Like a lot of people I've always dreamed of living in New York City, so right now I'm seriously considering going to school there. I am from Vancouver, Canada and here I very rarely ever feel unsafe. Maybe it has to do with Canada's smaller population, but I always feel I have to be more on my guard when travelling through the US. It's such a chaotic and belligerent society. I remember going to Seattle one Sunday at a busy mall and I was in one particular clothing store that was pretty packed. The manager got into a shouting match with some girls she suspected of shoplifting (they had been complaining about the long lineup or something) and she very loudly ordered them to get out of her store, and then called mall security. She wasn't hush hush about it at all. She was not concerned with keeping some modicum of propriety and politeness. I guess I'm too used to being around polite and friendly Canadian folks. I kept thinking "This would never happen in Canada!" Life is so much tamer here.
But for the most part people were friendly enough, but Seattle ain't no NYC. If that's how I found SEATTLE, what in the world will NYC be like? (I've been to NYC but it was only for a day in touristy areas, but I imagine living and working there would be an entirely different experience.)
So what I would like to know is, am I going to get crushed if I don't steel myself, grow thick skin, and lose my Canadian inclination for geniality and adopt a more hardened outlook? New York is also the epicenter of weird people. I mean seriously, apparently New Yorkers find Californians to be too soft. I'm thinking Good God if they're considered soft how am I going to fare as a Vancouverite? (LOL I don't remember who said this but they were trying to illustrate how much more professional & cutthroat people were in LA compared to Vancouver because everyone wore SUITS to work and we were so uber casual here. )
If you come with that kind of attitude most definitely you will "get crushed" and not because of your "Canadian inclination for geniality" but for your ignorance. People in New York are like people anywhere else; we have lives, we have dreams, we love, we laugh, we cry but yes this is a busy, fast moving city, you will find just as many rude folks as you will friendly, and its very diverse, if you find that diversity "weird", perhaps this isn't the city for you.
yeah i will always go to new york to vacation none the less but live there is another story i just cant handle all the raw attitude and push push push over and over again.
yeah i will always go to new york to vacation none the less but live there is another story i just cant handle all the raw attitude and push push push over and over again.
That's funny......I think NY'ers are getting LESS pushy.....there was a time when I could go into any type of store and be in and out in a heartbeat.....where, even though we've always had traffic, drivers were quite adept at maneuvering around "obstacles". NOW....everyone is SLOW....takes forever to get out of my local Wauldbaum's......everyone is a passive driver...i.e. you get nowhere fast......people don't run up those subway steps anywhere..lol...instead, they take their time and I'm usually stuck behind them!
That's just ridiculous.Most Ny'ers I know are as soft as mashed potatoes.
And I have never in 35 years heard a single NY'er complain about Californians or people from anywhere else being "too soft".I have heard a lot of complaining but not about people being too soft.
These days in New York City people are softer. But most of these "softies" are transplants. And of course, some will be really nice natives. But blue collar workers in New York are most of the time real New Yorkers and they are as tough as nails and are definitely not afraid to confront anybody. I had three tickets to the Phillies-Yankees World Series game in Philly last year so I took a couple of my employees who are close friends to the game and they would go from laughing and relaxation one second to cussing up a storm the next second. Irish hotheads.
Lovecouture - I think maybe I didn't explain myself well or you didn't get the gist of what I'm trying to express. I definitely don't feel like I have to pust a mask on everytime I step outside. And, I, too, am a chatty, aimiable, funny, nice person. That hasn't changed at all. I've just become a little bit more street smart - I grew up in a very sheltered suburb where everyone was rich - I didn't have any street smarts! I've also just gained more confidence in myself. I was a pushover - it wasn't just that I was nice - I really NEVER stood up for myself. And I mean this in most aspects of my life - not just walking around NYC. For me, living here has taught me how to stand up for myself. But I definitely don't wear a mask - I just am who I am - which is a more confident, stronger, person than I was before. But rest assured, I am still one of the nicest, friendliest, silliest people ever!
I think NYC is the absolute greatest places to live. Yes, there are a lot of rude people - but there are just a lot of people here in general - rude, nice, funny, crazy, etc. I love it! Maybe you'll move here and you'll love it. Maybe you'll move here and you hate it. There isn't one perfect city that is right for every single person. If that were the case, there would be billions of people in only one city and nobody living anywhere else. And if you move here and you hate it - you can always leave. Nothing is permanant. Find the place that makes you happy - wherever it may be. We can tell you everything we can about the city - we can tell you that it hardens you or doesn't harden you - but you are the only person who is going to know if this is the right place for you or not.
I grew up 20 mins. outside of NYC in Jersey. My mother had me going back and forth for different things in my mid-teens, and a lot of my life has been spent hanging out, working and living there.
That being said...I just fled NNJ/NYC. I can't stand it, and I hope that I don't have to move back for a long, long time.
Yes, living there will harden you. You know what, why is "reality" all about being unfriendly, eschewing connection with others? My reality is about connection and reaching out.
If you're a single woman, NYC has potential to make you very, very bitter. Getting into a relationship is like pulling teeth; men like to rack up lots of girls, and they can become very entitled. Keep in mind, NYC is full of models, dancers, performing artists, intellectuals, etc. There are LOTS of liars that will do anything in the name of status and getting a leg up on someone else.
Things are grossly overpriced. Rents are stupid. Kitchens amount to one burner and a little fridge, unless you're paying $1200/person/mo for something a bit bigger. By the way, hope you like rats and huge roaches, because you'll be seeing scads of them.
Oh, and raising kids here? HAHAHAHA! OK, if you want your kid to be a self-centered headcase. Schools are all about getting ahead. The high schools are so crowded that they run on two shifts, an early one and a later one that starts at 11 AM and ends at 6. By the way, you have to apply far ahead to get anything good, and competition is super, super fierce for spots in the best places. One of my best friends is a NYC native (though I know several) and she warned me up and down to never, ever raise a child in NYC.
So, I'm moving to Chicago. It's so, so fun, clean, cheaper and I can get my organic groceries with a nice walk. Men here seem to be more polite, and I get approached way more often by actual men, not hipster boys or guys who need a girl to fill in the Tuesday night slot. Plus, I like the fact that the buildings aren't greyed by dirt, the sidewalks choked with filth.
There are plenty of people from NYC that can't stand it. Don't believe the hype. Trust me, the world doesn't revolve around NYC, and not every city wants to be like it. You can totally live a culturally rich life in Chicago, Seattle, Cali, Denver, Houston, etc. Plus, it'll be cheaper!
New York makes you prepared to take on the world. It gives you invaluable street smarts that may save your life. You are less likely to be taken for a sucker also.
I know people who grew up in the country and were harden by poverty and violence.
Some of the best people I have met in my life are from NYC.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
I've also just gained more confidence in myself. I was a pushover - it wasn't just that I was nice - I really NEVER stood up for myself. And I mean this in most aspects of my life - not just walking around NYC. For me, living here has taught me how to stand up for myself. But I definitely don't wear a mask - I just am who I am - which is a more confident, stronger, person than I was before. But rest assured, I am still one of the nicest, friendliest, silliest people ever! 
