Leaving NYC (UWS) to Westchester or CT-insanely confusing (Rye, Harrison: middle-class, houses)

[LisaPKNY]

Please help! I have searched these forums to no end, and so many of you have a lot of wonderful insight.
Leaving UWS - have 3 kids (2,7,9) and no space. Husband will commute to midtown. I LOVE NYC and am heartbroken, but we need the space. I can deal with it for the kids.
We grew up in Rye Brook and Stamford so we know the areas pretty well. Problem is, $$ for a nice home, schools and types of people. Schools first, decent home (mil+), people. I love the diversity, but want educate, interesting people.
Been looking heavily in Harrison- just concerned mid/high school is too big, and too much blue collar? Any help?
I believe Rye, Greenwich, N Canaan & Westport are really nouveau riche and absent parents for the most part. God help me I am considering Darien....I just can't stand the short-bob haircut and pretense. Am I wrong?
Sorry so long....sleepless nights!

[bmwguydc]

Why not look to Northern Westchester, too, if you're considering Darien? You could find a decent house in Katonah, parts of Bedford, Pound Ridge, or Lewisboro for around $1-$1.5M, though property taxes will be higher than comparable houses in Connecticut. Pound Ridge and Lewisboro are off the train, so those areas would necessitate a commute to the train, and parking can be difficult for non-town residents in Bedford, Katonah, and Mount Kisco, though there are a limited supply of metered spots.

If you do look in Katonah, be aware that the zip code straddles Somers, which is not bad, but causes a headache for the trian at Katonah, since you'd be a non-resident. And, the schools would be Somers, as opposed to Katonah-Lewisboro. Bedford Central covers Bedford, Mount Kisco, and Pound Ridge.

Katonah is an artsy place, to a certain degree, and it does have its own museum of art, culture at Caramoor, and numerous other aspects that attract a good mix of educated people. There are also abundant parks, and outside of the "town" area, the houses are set on larger lots to mini-estates, and then some grand estates. It's about an hour from Grand Central on Metro-North, but is really another world, as is most of Northern Westchester, since it's not as congested. Some may find elements of snobbery in the town, but to be realistic, that's a factor anywhere where you're into seven-digit price tags. If you like the UWS, and can deal with the smaller nature of Katonah, I think you might like it. Most of the people are moderate, though there are some extreme liberals and extreme conservatives, but people get along, despite disagreements.

One other thing in Katonah is that most people are not obsessed with status, or consumed with financial affairs. If one lives in the area, they have a general affluence, such that there's nothing to prove for most residents, since they're not into overly flashy cars or lifestyles. Most people buy what they like, drive what they want, and don't worry about their friends/neighbors.

[bluedog2]

Originally Posted by LisaPKNY

..........
Leaving UWS - have 3 kids (2,7,9) and no space. Husband will commute to midtown. I LOVE NYC and am heartbroken, but we need the space. I can deal with it for the kids. ......
. I love the diversity, but want educate, interesting people.
Been looking heavily in Harrison- just concerned mid/high school is too big, and too much blue collar? Any help? ....

BLUE COLLAR!!! Oh,god no! You can't let that happen,sweetie.It would be ghastly,just ghastly.Really ,really ghastly !

The kids would probably rather slit their wrists than be in the same classrooms with carpenter's and electrician's kids. I mean it would be ghastly,just ghastly.Really, really ghastly.

And what would happen if Jr. somehow got some crazy notion into his head that it might be an option to actually work with his hands but not as a doctor ? Can you imagine ? It would just ruin everything wouldn't it ?

Darien sounds perfect ! Just perfect !Really,really perfect! Top drawer !

[LisaPKNY]

First, bmwguy, thanks for your take on upper westch. I have many friends there, but it's too landlocked for me. I LOVE the beach (and yes, I know LI sound is no ocean). Also, yes, too far from large towns/cities- it will be culture shock as it is.
As far as the 'ghastly blue collar', if you re-read my post it says I do like diversity, not TOO much of any one ethnic or cultural type. That's why I ruled out certain other towns. But, I've read a lot of blogs about the "yo johnny' stereotype in Harrison. I do want my kids to generally be with motivated, interesting, interested people. Look, that's why I won't move home to Stamford--too many of my friends (and I love them), but too many didn't even strive for college. Make sense?

Sounds to me like you want to be in Manhattan.

Make some cuts but find a way to get a slightly bigger place- maybe even more uptown.

Or consider Hoboken- great community, better commutes and you can still have a home.

[bluedog2]

Originally Posted by LisaPKNY

.....
As far as the 'ghastly blue collar', if you re-read my post it says I do like diversity, not TOO much of any one ethnic or cultural type. That's why I ruled out certain other towns. But, I've read a lot of blogs about the "yo johnny' stereotype in Harrison. I do want my kids to generally be with motivated, interesting, interested people. Look, that's why I won't move home to Stamford--too many of my friends (and I love them), but too many didn't even strive for college. Make sense?

Might have sounded much better if you simply stated that you have misgivings about Harrison because it isn't diverse enough.To me "too blue collar" is no different than too black,too Jewish,too gay or too whatever.We are all human beings.

Now,and I mean this sincerely : If you are doing this "for the kids" I just really hope it has been discussed with the kids.I say this only because I have 1st hand experience with this.My parents uprooted my brother,sister and I from a city( Boston) and moved to the suburbs for us only it was never really discussed with us.We were told. We all hated it,never really adjusted too well and never really forgave them in some ways.It can be very traumatic.

It would be terrible if you and your husband are doing something you would rather not do "for the kids" if they would rather not do it either.

Peace...and good luck.

[bmwguydc]

I understand completely. Given the parameters of a Sound Shore town, and not too long of a commute, I would pick Darien over Greenwich in Connecticut, and my grandparents lived in Greenwich. Fairfield is nice, but the commute is much longer than Darien, and you're not on the water, though not too far inland.

Also, I understand what you're saying, that you're looking for an area that's educated, and not filled with people who don't instill traditional values in their children with regard to success in school. And, finding parents who take care of their children, not relying on a housekeeper to supervise them. It's difficult to find that balance of small town atmosphere with good schools that's not an arduous commute to Manhattan. Coming from the UWS, that's going to be a difficult mix, even though you're originally from the suburbs.

I think that you can still be an UWSer, at heart, in Darien, especially since you're only a few miutes from SoNo and the Aquarium, with its IMAX theatre. It's great for kids, too, since the theatre is not as congested as some of the multiplexes. It's a very homogenous area, however, which is not unlike other towns in the region. It seems to be that in the suburbs, be it Westchester or Fairfield, you either have small schools that are not as diverse, or huge schools that have diversity, but then have elements of academic malaise in their ranks.

Harrison can be a good area, too, but there's no town-oriented mindset that unifies the entire community. You also have a degree of absentee parents where the children are left to their own devices, having parties and the like. It's also an economically integrated town, ranging from middle-class housing to world-class estates, but can be distant as well, since it may not be feasible for children to ride a bicycle to their friend's house, etc.

[LisaPKNY]

Bluedog, thanks for your advice..I could have been more eloquent. It just seemed as if this was a very honest forum. I like to think I am just a little bit of all I want in a town, and too much of what I want to avoid. You know what I mean?
I guess it's wanting my kids to learn how to play with everyone in the big playground,,and comfortable with them all.
BTW, our kids are part of most discussions regarding the all the wonderful things about the burbs, and why we love every inch of this great city and how tough it will be to say 'goodbye'. They are right on board with whatever the decision is.
BMW man, you convey my thoughts and sentiments to the tea. So psychic blogger...what shall I do??)
I'm starting to struggle with thoughts such as: is it better to watch your kids growing amongst the diversity and hope they find the best path, or with like-minded people, and trust that I will show my kids the world as it really is...and my own appreciation for the richness of diverse ethnic, racial and intellectual divergence?
Too much pontificating? ok...goodnight. But, I still need help...

[LisaPKNY]

P.S....love the Shakespeare quote. One of my favorite Rush songs!!

[NYer75]

It ended with "Blue Collar" for me....good luck.