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Seems like you should have done more research before relocating. Personally I look beyond the availability of bread(s) as a criteria to my quality of life.
Exactly. It's not like there aren't enough COL calculators available online and other resources. For someone to move and then complain about utility costs is silly.
But it's the nature of NY'ers (and especially LI'ers) to whine about pizza and bagels whenever they leave the tri-state area.
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Originally Posted by markjames68
Exactly. It's not like there aren't enough COL calculators available online and other resources. For someone to move and then complain about utility costs is silly.
But it's the nature of NY'ers (and especially LI'ers) to whine about pizza and bagels whenever they leave the tri-state area.
It is the benchmark standard that civilization is measured against.....
Exactly. It's not like there aren't enough COL calculators available online and other resources. For someone to move and then complain about utility costs is silly.
But it's the nature of NY'ers (and especially LI'ers) to whine about pizza and bagels whenever they leave the tri-state area.
I'm a New Yorker who HATES BAGELS and really isn't too fond of pizza. So whenever I leave NYC I don't complain about either of those things.
Seems like you should have done more research before relocating. Personally I look beyond the availability of bread(s) as a criteria to my quality of life.
I think some things you can't really research though. You would only know if you like a place by being there.
Perhaps visiting there could give you some clues. Or if you have the luxury of having an extended stay there (for a few weeks at least).
I spent three fall/winters in Los Angeles. I know I would never permanently move there. I love that NYC has a much better train network, love that at least in Manhattan basic things are walkable, etc. I am glad I spent time out there and glad I made no long term commitment.
I tend to think people should ignore cost of living and just live WHEREVER you want. If you like warmer weather, driving everywhere, humidity, etc living in the South is fine. If you like a sunny, dry climate the Southwest is good for you. You should know whether you like urban or rural environments. Once you admit what you really like do the work to find ways of making a life for yourself there. If you play the cost of living thing you're letting things external to you determine where you live and you may end up miserable.
Sounds like you're not happy and should move back to CT.
So what does this have to do with NY?
I think PJ1252 is just pointing out that it's not an uncommon phenomenon for transplants to find that the grass is not always greener somewhere else. In other words, it's just not New Yorkers who feel this way.
PS: The title of this thread is "why do people move back north after moving down south?", so it could very well apply to any northerners who transplant south and then decide they don't like it. The thread just happens to be in the New York forum.
I think some things you can't really research though. You would only know if you like a place by being there.
Perhaps visiting there could give you some clues. Or if you have the luxury of having an extended stay there (for a few weeks at least).
I spent three fall/winters in Los Angeles. I know I would never permanently move there. I love that NYC has a much better train network, love that at least in Manhattan basic things are walkable, etc. I am glad I spent time out there and glad I made no long term commitment.
I tend to think people should ignore cost of living and just live WHEREVER you want. If you like warmer weather, driving everywhere, humidity, etc living in the South is fine. If you like a sunny, dry climate the Southwest is good for you. You should know whether you like urban or rural environments. Once you admit what you really like do the work to find ways of making a life for yourself there. If you play the cost of living thing you're letting things external to you determine where you live and you may end up miserable.
That's true to a certain extent but when the COL gets out of hand, then it's hard to get ahead. I think that the NYC metro and San Francisco are examples of that. I'm not saying you should change NYC for northwest Arkansas or San Francisco for Johnson City, TN, based solely on COL, but maybe less pricey metros like Chicago or Boston or Seattle would be reasonable substitutes.
One of the reasons that transplants often have issues is that they not only move from one region to another that's generally culturally different than their original region, but that they may move from a very urban area (like NYC or parts of LI) to an area that's much more suburban and/or significantly smaller (like Charlotte, NC or Ft Myers, FL), so they get a "double whammy" on changes.
A lot of things that people living in larger, more populous areas take for granted are unavailable or significantly further away than they're used to. This frequently happens to retirees who think that they want to retire to "the country" when they've never actually lived anywhere but a city or suburb in a large metro. Having to drive 10 miles round trip to get a quart of milk or 30-40 miles round trip for any kind of general shopping, and that being Tractor Supply, Walmart, and Lowe's or Home Depot, gets old really fast.
I think PJ1252 is just pointing out that it's not an uncommon phenomenon for transplants to find that the grass is not always greener somewhere else. In other words, it's just not New Yorkers who feel this way.
PS: The title of this thread is "why do people move back north after moving down south?", so it could very well apply to any northerners who transplant south and then decide they don't like it. The thread just happens to be in the New York forum.
I'm 59 years old, grew up in CT and lived in NY for 20 years as an adult. I think I'm qualified to compare the two. Outside of Fairfield Cty (which I lived in during my very early years), NY and most of CT have surprisingly little in common. Actually, where I am now is a lot more like CT than NYS is.
That's true to a certain extent but when the COL gets out of hand, then it's hard to get ahead. I think that the NYC metro and San Francisco are examples of that. I'm not saying you should change NYC for northwest Arkansas or San Francisco for Johnson City, TN, based solely on COL, but maybe less pricey metros like Chicago or Boston or Seattle would be reasonable substitutes.
One of the reasons that transplants often have issues is that they not only move from one region to another that's generally culturally different than their original region, but that they may move from a very urban area (like NYC or parts of LI) to an area that's much more suburban and/or significantly smaller (like Charlotte, NC or Ft Myers, FL), so they get a "double whammy" on changes.
A lot of things that people living in larger, more populous areas take for granted are unavailable or significantly further away than they're used to. This frequently happens to retirees who think that they want to retire to "the country" when they've never actually lived anywhere but a city or suburb in a large metro. Having to drive 10 miles round trip to get a quart of milk or 30-40 miles round trip for any kind of general shopping, and that being Tractor Supply, Walmart, and Lowe's or Home Depot, gets old really fast.
People can always find ways to manage cost of living if living in a place is extremely important to them. So just decide where you like to live. I personally love NYC and will always find ways to live here. Other people may prefer other steas no matter how low the average wage. Mississippi for example is considered the poorest state but people who like living there make it work for themselves.
People can always find ways to manage cost of living if living in a place is extremely important to them. So just decide where you like to live. I personally love NYC and will always find ways to live here. Other people may prefer other steas no matter how low the average wage. Mississippi for example is considered the poorest state but people who like living there make it work for themselves.
A lot of things that people living in larger, more populous areas take for granted are unavailable or significantly further away than they're used to. This frequently happens to retirees who think that they want to retire to "the country" when they've never actually lived anywhere but a city or suburb in a large metro. Having to drive 10 miles round trip to get a quart of milk or 30-40 miles round trip for any kind of general shopping, and that being Tractor Supply, Walmart, and Lowe's or Home Depot, gets old really fast.
You might be surprised. Using Ft. Myers/Naples as an example (i.e. SW Florida), there are few things that aren't available there that are found on LI. Costco? Check. Trader Joe's? Check. All of the different stores and chain restaurants? Check. Family restaurants? Different, but check.
The distance might be slightly longer, but perhaps not, and even if longer the travel time might be the same...or less.
I do take your point when you're looking at a more rural area. If you move to the middle of Arkansas you may get tired of Walmart or having to drive 70 miles to the nearest Costco.
The biggest shift will likely be from NYC, SF (or London, or HK) to just about any other city. People used to being able to walk to get their latte in the morning or pick up their dry cleaning will get the shock of having to get into their car and drive anywhere. While this can also technically apply to Westchester or Long Island the reality is that once you have kids, and school/after-school activities you're not schlepping in the city to socialize every day and you become a suburbanite.
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