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Look at Nyack or Suffern in Rockland County. Both are within the commute time and have nice scenes themselves. I believe you can take NJ transit from either location. Peekskill might be another place to look. Possibly Brewster too.
After looking at dozens of properties, we settled on one in a safe, quiet, pretty, older neighborhood in Ewing, NJ, about 8-10 min from the Hamilton NJT station, so about 1hr 10min total to NYC/Penn Station. It's also equidistant to Newark and Philadelphia airports, about 1 hr by car.
The local elem school seems fine, but we still plan to homeschool or use one of the private schools.
If anyone is looking for a home in Ewing and wonders about a certain neighborhood, the best advice we found is to go and check out the neighborhood in person then once you narrow your search, ask the Ewing police how often they get called to that area. We emailed them four specific addresses and they emailed us back - very helpful. Local postal carriers and neighbors out in their yard are also great sources of info.
Also, some of the neighborhoods that might not be where we chose to live do have real character and might be just right for some folks.... check out a place at different times of day to get the whole sense.
Shopping - We found a great Polish bakery close to where the railroad and Rt 1 meet in North Ewing. Also, Olden Road has just about whatever you want including an Aldi (great food/staple/basics bargains - German-style - box/bag your own.) More common suburban shopping (Target, ToysRUs, Marshalls, etc.) is just up Rt 1 toward Princeton.
Also, West Trenton seems fine, even with some very quiet, safe neighborhoods close to the canal and golf course. Great commute to Philadelphia from the W Trenton station. (To NYC: Hamilton or Trenton is better, on the NJT lines.)
Also, the history of the area is fascinating. Trees and parks abound as well.
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