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I have one really close friend from school who I keep in touch with. It's weird that I say we're really close, because we may not see each other for years or speak for months, but when we do, it's like no time has passed at all. I get her, she gets me, and since we know each other from middle school, I know her family, she knows mine, I know all about her first loves and vice versa. There are other friends from high school and college that I keep in touch with (thanks to Facebook, it's easy) but for the most part we've gone our separate ways.
The one guy I knew as a teenager: Joe. From about 10th grade until about 10 years ago, I thought he'd be my best friend always. He knew me and my family very well and vice-versa, and his parents always treated me well. But Joe went through some crises in his late 20s, and even though I tried to reaffirm our friendship after we spent years apart, it just didn't work.
Joe came back to town, got married, and wanted me to attend. We had a major issue that kept me from talking to him - but he really wanted me there. So I went, we reconciled, and I thought it'd be a new start... but married life just held him at home. I gave up. We're on FB together now, but it's no more than hi and bye... we would get along great if we met; we don't live terribly far from each other, but he's too focused on his wife (he has no kids) and I have an entirely new set of friends now.
The childhood friend: Barry. We were the best of friends as children. Early in junior high, I relocated - and in my early 20s, I moved near him. We met again, and our friendship was rekindled, and we were inseparable for a few years. But... he was VERY different from me now. There were some things I just could not talk to him about. But to have fun, drink, eat, hang out, he was always by my side. I can't complain about his loyalty. I relocated again, and now we meet once or twice a year... and it's the same. I realized that while we'll always have our childhood memories and those 20s memories, that he will never be as close to me as other guys are.
My best friend right now: Benjamin. I did have to be the more proactive one after college, into young adulthood, but we became increasingly closer as we hit our 30s. Our common "struggle" as single men "united" us - and now that he's near his wedding, I feel like I'm "losing" him to his wife. But we'll always be close.
I am still friends with a girl from high school, but we talk less and less. We comment on one another's Facebook (she sent me a recipe for shrimp and grits this weekend because of a comment I had made), but we have a real conversation maybe twice a year.
She and another girl were my best friends in high school, and I had lost touch with the other one. We reconnected a couple years ago on Facebook (I had searched for her for years and tried to contact her on Classmates.com), but we just couldn't rekindle what was lost. After a few rounds of "Hey, it's great to see you! What have you been up to?" there wasn't much more to say, unfortunately. She had been married and divorced and had three kids and is a nurse in Arizona now, and her family is all born again--her brother is a married preacher, which I just cannot wrap my head around. She and I got along so well in school and I thought we'd be friends forever.
My husband is the only other real friend I have from high school. I am FB friends with others from high school and college, but as that other dead-horse thread has shown, that's not the same thing. When my husband and I started dating, I hadn't seen him in a few years, but it was like we had never been apart. We'd always gotten along very well--we just click.
He went to visit some old friends in Florida this past weekend. He hadn't seen them for upward of 15 years, but he said they fell back into their old rhythm and friendship right away. No awkward silences, no "Soooooooo ... what have you been up to?" I think that's a mark of a lifetime friend.
well, i started kindergarten with a class of 50 people. my high school graduation, essentially the same 50 people.
out of that crowd, maybe 6 or 7 that i'm still good friends with, although it's hard to keep touch in different states. maybe another 20 that are good people, but no more than "facebook friends".
college, it is more like 2 friends that are close, and 100 people who are glorified drinking buddies-turned-business contacts.
but i'm still young, i've got a lot of friendships to lose. i notice that i get much more suspicious of people as i get older.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justjulia
years, but he said they fell back into their old rhythm and friendship right away. No awkward silences, no "Soooooooo ... what have you been up to?" I think that's a mark of a lifetime friend.
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I have only one good friend from high school left, and we don't talk much because she's got three little kids and is therefore always busy. I don't have any kids so we don't have that in common. Most of my friends have little kids and I'm just not interested in that as a big topic of conversation. I'm friends with many people from school on Facebook, but there's not much to say at this point. It's hard to find new friends in your 30s when you're way done with school and you're not involved with the mom crowd.
most of my closest friends are the people i grew up with. in fact, on saturday im going to the baby shower for the first friend i ever had in my life...we met at 2 and the rest is history lol. its been...26 years? geez. but im really careful with new friends now. ive been burned a lot and my trust level is pretty low.
I haven't had any close contact with my childhood friends since I moved in 1990. As for friends in college, I haven't stayed in touch with any of them since the end of the 1990s (I did chat with a few at a wedding in 2002 and there was one I ran into while heading home from work a few years back, but that been more or less it).
My closest friends are mainly people I know from growing up in Montana. The problem I have is that I still have friends I was really close to who I've completely lost track of and I don't know what happened to them. I've moved around to different states a few times which makes it difficult to stay in touch although thanks to Facebook and the internet I have reconnected with quite a few friends from the old days. I've also made some friends from work who became lifelong friends although the majority of my work friends drifted in and out of my life when I moved to different cities even though I was still working for the same company. I don't think I'll ever find friends that I'm closer to than my friends I grew up with.
Have friends from high school, college, med school, residency, and now work.
Remember the girl scout motto? *grin*
Nah, keep the ones that grew with you in the same direction. Others go by the wayside and you wonder about them from time to time, but what are you gonna do? You only have so much time in your life - give it to the people who count the most.
Two friends from high school - still talk to them, lost touch with one of them for about 5 years, then he called me, we met up - just like old times.
It's true - you're fortunate if you can have one true friend to stand by you through thick and thin. I'm fortunate I have two of them.
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But we'll always be close.
