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Old 05-14-2012, 11:40 AM
 
915 posts, read 2,122,305 times
Reputation: 510

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My heart is just utterly, utterly broken. My brother -- my only living relative, aside from distant ones -- rejected me, again. (blocked me on Facebook). This time because my political/religious views are so different than his. We were getting along on Facebook for a while, but the differences are so great. He agrees with Rush Limbaugh, thinks homosexuality is a sin (and quotes the Bible), thinks Obama is a Marxist and a Communist (without knowing the meaning of either), etc. Right wing conservative. I'm a Bertrand Russell type freethinker, atheist, animal rights advocate, liberal and beyond liberal.

He cannot tolerate interacting with anyone who's views are different than his. He can't spell, his grammar is bad, and his lines of thinking are smudgy, to say the least. I always wondered why he didn't respect me, and I think I finally understand why. He doesn't respect anyone with an education; he refers to my friends as "artsy-fartsy" and says I'm condescending. I don't think I am (just because I can spell??)

He went to a two year junior college in Arkansas; I went to a good Ivy League-type school, etc. There are social classes in this country, though we don't like to talk about it. I love this kid; I helped raise him, taught him how to walk, how to talk. He mows yards for a living now.

We have not been on good terms for a while, but he and his wife called me and were concerned I was ill (I have cancer); he told me he loved me. But honestly, there is no love in my family. They wanted me to move back to Tulsa, I think, because they want my belongings. I just wish I had a brother whom I could talk to, who loves me.

It's painful. But after the recognition that I can't expect it to be any different, comes a certain maturity and acceptance. I have to go on with my life. I can't expect him (or anyone) to change their basic personality structure. He's 50 years old, after all; he's not going to change at this point. And I'm willing to accept his differences. I don't see how you can reject your only living sibling, based on that, particularly when they're ill. I think his character is poor.

There is really not enough information in these few paragraphs to outline the history of my conflicts with him. He's 12 years younger than me; I grew up during the '60's; he was a child at that time. In the 60's I disagreed with my parents about everything: social justice issues, human rights, civil rights, the war in Viet Nam. I left home; my brother adopted my parents' views.

But I never rejected him on that basis. He -- or anyone else, for that matter -- has every right to believe in whatever they wish. I don't question that. By why STOP LOVING a family member, because of it? It sounds really cruel to me and has been personally very, very painful.

 
Old 05-14-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,890,570 times
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I am sorry you are suffering and I do understand. It is heartbreaking when a relative you love rejects you or has no respect for you.

You are right to go on with your life . . .take good care of yourself . . .I would send him love and good feelings if not prayers . . . he apparently is doing the best he can.

I don't know if you would be interested in Ho'Oponopono, but it can work wonders.

In the meantime, your health is suffering so do whatever you can for yourself - it's unfortunate he can't "be there" for you.


 
Old 05-14-2012, 11:57 AM
 
915 posts, read 2,122,305 times
Reputation: 510
Ho'Oponopono ?? Oh, it's this:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho%CA%BBoponopono

I don't give any credence to anything supernatural, but if you remove the part about gods and prayer, I think the rest has some merit.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:08 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,890,570 times
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You don't have to "believe" anything for it to work . . .it is an energetic exercise . . .it can help you and him both (again, don't have to believe anything . . .just try it and see for yourself . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac5SGwRPv0o
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:14 PM
 
915 posts, read 2,122,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
You don't have to "believe" anything for it to work . . .it is an energetic exercise . . .it can help you and him both (again, don't have to believe anything . . .just try it and see for yourself . . .)


Hooponopono - YouTube

Well, this is very sweet, but after so many instances of his betrayals, I don't think I can honestly say I'm sorry and I forgive him. It would be a lie, to say that. He can't be trusted.

He was always very fearful; history is too long, and too painful.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Rhode Island
9,244 posts, read 14,808,192 times
Reputation: 10264
[quote=mvintar;24297410]My heart is just utterly, utterly broken. My brother -- my only living relative, aside from distant ones -- rejected me, again.


Don't let him break your heart and don't even think about forgiving him. You said you are ready to accept him as he is- unfortunately- he's just given you a taste of who and what he is. Accept it.

You want to keep going back to that well because he's your brother. Sadly, wishing a thing to be good doesn't make it so. He represents a dry well- acknowledge that and try to move on.

Surely you have some other friends or even distant relatives who can support you in your time of trial?
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,890,570 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvintar View Post
Well, this is very sweet, but after so many instances of his betrayals, I don't think I can honestly say I'm sorry and I forgive him. It would be a lie, to say that. He can't be trusted.

He was always very fearful; history is too long, and too painful.
This is a metaphysical solution - not a practical one.

I went to YouTube and just clicked on a vid with a lot of views - I don't think that's the best one - if you are interested, do your own research.

It has nothing to do with how you feel - it works best with the people you resent most - if you try it, you will see that it changes you - it's an energetic thing, as I said.

I guess you are just not ready for this level of healing.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:38 PM
 
915 posts, read 2,122,305 times
Reputation: 510
>> Surely you have some other friends or even distant relatives who can support you in your time of trial?

Unfortunately, I don't. Both of my parents are deceased, husband deceased many years ago. Older people frequently suffer from loneliness, but I'm not the type of person to feel lonely very often. But there's just nobody to talk to.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:40 PM
 
915 posts, read 2,122,305 times
Reputation: 510
>> I guess you are just not ready for this level of healing.

I am ready, but I don't think this is the solution. I want to move somewhere, where they teach yoga. There's nothing here. I think that's the answer for me.
 
Old 05-14-2012, 12:42 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,890,570 times
Reputation: 8956
Go to YouTube. You will find lots of videos on Yoga . . . also, are you on a healthy organic diet? Do you get massages? Have you tried EFT (also check out on YouTube)

All of these things can help detox your system.
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