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Oh don't worry. This won't ruin his future at all. This is America, where apparently people have the right to appear in public productions yet somehow invoke a right to privacy to protect them from the consequences of their public actions. Isn't that cool? They also have the right to sue others for searching for information about them in public sources. Awesome, right? I've learned all kinds of cool things from this thread.
it can ruin his future in regards to women or having a normal relationship-would you have a committed relationship with someone who was in the porn industry?
But lets be honest the jobs most people have aren't hampered by this kind of stuff.
I'm not trying to be difficult, pagan, but it really depends. A lot of jobs are. I don't care if this guy is gay. I don't care that he's working in the sex industry. However, I am concerned that he's going to pay a much higher price than he now realizes. Many, many young people get involved with the sex industry thinking it's a clever way to make a quick buck without realizing it can have extremely negative lifelong consequences. I don't think the OP is wrong to be concerned for her nephew.
I'm not trying to be difficult, pagan, but it really depends. A lot of jobs are. I don't care if this guy is gay. I don't care that he's working in the sex industry. However, I am concerned that he's going to pay a much higher price than he now realizes. Many, many young people get involved with the sex industry thinking it's a clever way to make a quick buck without realizing it can have extremely negative lifelong consequences. I don't think the OP is wrong to be concerned for her nephew.
Well i have 2 friends who did their own websites and they have jobs so i don't think it's going to preclude you as much as people think. Most jobs won't go so far to check. Some will you are right, jobs dealing with a high public profile,or security. But do you really think they are going ask to do a google background check on an accountant?
This Thanksgiving was quite eventful with the normal physical altercations and screaming matches taking place between my family members after several drinks.
What was not normal was finding out that a nephew of mine has not only entered the adult industry, but the gay adult industry. My sister pulled me aside after dinner to let me know that her 19-year old son has been doing gay porn for roughly 4 months.
He did not reveal this side of his life at dinner, probably because my mom (his grandmother) would have disowned him on spot. He let his parents know several weeks ago and my sister told me after a few drinks.
He claims he is not gay, but he claims that he gets paid quite a bit more to have sex with men than women. He is in college and runs low on money often as my sister and brother-in-law can only provide him with so much. He had a man find his profile picture on Facebook and offer to fly him out to LA from Las Vegas to do some modeling work. The rest is history.
I was quiet during the rest of dinner for fear of opening a can of worms. I am pretty close to nephew. I am uncertain how to react. Our family is very conservative and I remember babysitting my nephew when he was really young. Would you just accept a member of your family being in the gay adult industry? Would you act like nothing has changed?
I'm so confused with this.
New2colo I'm not sure if you should get directly involved in this
But YOU certainly need to give your sister a lot of support ...she must be going through Hell!
But I'm still trying to get my head around this. He's straight but doing Gay Porn/ He came out and confessed to his parents...It is just a LITTLE strange?
God I only hope he made the whole thing up to some how get back at his Parents. Because the truth is just Too much to bare. Why would anyone Go to this level of self destruction. Developing any future relationships from here (Friends/Girlfriends) will not be easy
My condolences to you and your family..this must be real hard on you all
But do you really think they are going ask to do a google background check on an accountant?
Pagan, I don't know. I just gave you an example from my experience. We do google searches on journalists we embed. No, this is not illegal and this is not some special privelage granted only to the military. We do it as part of our process of establishing journalists are worthy of being granted accredition. When we turned up a gay porn past on a guy, we didn't bar him from embedding. He was a professional journalist, so we granted him the same access we grant to all professional journalists. However, turning up that information was eye opening. We weren't looking for it, and we found it very easily. And again, no he didn't use his real name on the porn. Something to consider if you're considering a job in the sex industry. Don't do it if you're not willing for it to be public knowledge .. because, well, it's going to be public knowledge. Porn productions aren't exactly private. They're for public consumption.
Not to add fuel to the fire; just ran across this snippet in my travels. Not sure how it applies in all situations...my bolding...
Quote:
Federal employees currently have no statutory protections against sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination. Only 12 states have laws forbidding both sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination on the job. In 29 states, it is legal to be fired or not hired for being gay or lesbian. In 38 states, it is legal to be fired or not hired for being transgender.
Pagan, I don't know. I just gave you an example from my experience. We do google searches on journalists we embed. No, this is not illegal and this is not some special privelage granted only to the military. We do it as part of our process of establishing journalists are worthy of being granted accredition. When we turned up a gay porn past on a guy, we didn't bar him from embedding. He was a professional journalist, so we granted him the same access we grant to all professional journalists. However, turning up that information was eye opening. We weren't looking for it, and we found it very easily. And again, no he didn't use his real name on the porn. Something to consider if you're considering a job in the sex industry. Don't do it if you're not willing for it to be public knowledge .. because, well, it's going to be public knowledge. Porn productions aren't exactly private. They're for public consumption.
Remember the military has certain protections from lawsuits that the civilian world doesn't have my friend. If you don't do stuff like that peoples lives can be in danger. And i would imagine you allow them to know before hand you will be checking on their background as well. But in the civilian world i guarantee if any company was found to be doing google searches on people without their permission they would be sued and lose. Americans are very very very touchy about our privacy.
Ok,
I took the time to read all the post because I was trying to get the OP's responses.
IMO every time you have an encounter you share your soul, sounds goofy I know but the longer you equate uncommitted intimacy with whoever, the harder your heart gets. (no funny comments)
Ask him to look into his future mate goals and can he explain his reasons for this choice to them. Then let him sit with it, and change the subject.
Water finds the path of least resistance but eventually wears the rock down.
Good luck, take your sis out to lunch and a funny movie but really help her to realize that he is an adult, making his own decisions, and that means no more from mom and dad. No money, phone, car, insurance, nada.
Adults stand on their own. Otherwise keep it friendly meet him for lunch, stay clear of his shady business.
Just got off the phone with my nephew and my sister. I spoke with my sister first to let her know my intentions and that I intended to be a voice of reason in the fiasco. I rehashed some of the facts she told me about my nephew's new lifestyle so as to be as informed as possible when speaking to him.
My sister is miserable that one of her own children is prostituting and ruining his reputation. She and my BIL have offered to support him more financially for him to stop this destructive behavior, but he has refused help. He makes quite a bit of money now, which covers rent, bills, new clothes, and a car note.
Again, my nephew is a 19-year college student. He is a straight, has had several girlfriends, and is a very smart guy. According to him, he was contacted by a talent scout in May and was asked if he wanted to come out to LA several weeks later to do some modeling. He was flown to LA, took the photos (some of which I found out were nude), and flew back to Vegas. He was contacted by the same scout less than a week later, asking him if he wanted to make more money doing a solo video. He agreed, was flown out to LA the next day, made the video and returned back home the same day. He was offered even more money to come out a week later and film a scene with another man. Since then he has been going to LA every 2 or so weeks to make these movies.
I told him how much his family loved him and reminded him of the dangers that he is putting himself in. He was very quiet, but receptive of my advice. He told me that he has become used to the money he's making and plans to eventually stop, he just doesn't know when. I told him that I was glad that he at least listened to my concerns and that I hoped he was being safe. He assured me that he was, that he receives an STD test on weekly basis, and that all of the guys he works with are clean, straight, in college, and around his age. I felt much better hearing that and recognize that this is his decision to make. Maybe
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bosco55David
As a straight male with a degree of common sense and a raging libido, I do certify that your nephew is in fact, gay. At the very least, he is bisexual.
No need to thank me. I do it for the truth.
My nephew is not homosexual. He has had several relationships with women. He is not attracted to men, he just gets paid to sleep with them.
You can have sex with someone who you have no attraction to. It's not that hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovemycomputer90
Sex is completely natural. Sure there are some health risks and damage that could occur if one does not exercise caution and common sense. I can see it taking a physical toll if he is having sex all day everyday, but I highly doubt that is the case. Sex is not as destructive as drugs, in most cases. Sex is natural while injecting heroine, for example, is not. Just a couple weeks ago someone I went to high school with OD on heroine. That is destructive, but "getting off" is not.
You seem to be in denial about his sexuality. Straight guys usually find other ways to make ends meet. If he is getting a boner while with a guy, then chances are he's not straight.
Well that's a matter of opinion. I would agree that porn isn't the best way to pay the bills, however it is his life and ultimately his decision. When you do approach him, try not to be judgement and holier than thou.
Why are supposed straight men only focusing on sexuality and not the bigger picture? Where is the infatuation of gay sex coming from?
My nephew is finding a way to make ends meet. You seem to be stuck on the fact that the way is with other men. Angry because no one called you when you were 19?
Prostitution and a ruined reputation are destructive.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HairyandScary
New2colo I'm not sure if you should get directly involved in this
But YOU certainly need to give your sister a lot of support ...she must be going through Hell!
But I'm still trying to get my head around this. He's straight but doing Gay Porn/ He came out and confessed to his parents...It is just a LITTLE strange?
God I only hope he made the whole thing up to some how get back at his Parents. Because the truth is just Too much to bare. Why would anyone Go to this level of self destruction. Developing any future relationships from here (Friends/Girlfriends) will not be easy
My condolences to you and your family..this must be real hard on you all
It is strange, but he had to eventually tell his mom why he was going over to LA so often. She asked, he is open and honest, so he didn't lie. He didn't make this up, this is not out of spite for his parents, this is just a way he sees to earn money.
I will continue to support my sister and nephew. Maybe I just need to accept that porn is a new way for this generation to support themselves in this recession.
Last edited by mrstewart; 11-28-2010 at 09:01 PM..
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