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This Thanksgiving was quite eventful with the normal physical altercations and screaming matches taking place between my family members after several drinks.
What was not normal was finding out that a nephew of mine has not only entered the adult industry, but the gay adult industry. My sister pulled me aside after dinner to let me know that her 19-year old son has been doing gay porn for roughly 4 months.
He did not reveal this side of his life at dinner, probably because my mom (his grandmother) would have disowned him on spot. He let his parents know several weeks ago and my sister told me after a few drinks.
He claims he is not gay, but he claims that he gets paid quite a bit more to have sex with men than women. He is in college and runs low on money often as my sister and brother-in-law can only provide him with so much. He had a man find his profile picture on Facebook and offer to fly him out to LA from Las Vegas to do some modeling work. The rest is history.
I was quiet during the rest of dinner for fear of opening a can of worms. I am pretty close to nephew. I am uncertain how to react. Our family is very conservative and I remember babysitting my nephew when he was really young. Would you just accept a member of your family being in the gay adult industry? Would you act like nothing has changed?
I'm so confused with this.
Im sure you will get a wide range of answers in here to your question, but, taking the counter-culture stand I do , your newphew is obviously heading for trouble ... if nothing else than from the National STD Epidemic that exists (Sexually Transmitted Diseases in America:* How Many and at What Cost? - Kaiser Family Foundation) . I would be greatly concerned for his health regarding his choice of a career for fast money-making at the expense of personal dignity... where a sexually illicit Industry could care less about him and views its employees as just a disposable piece of meat for others perverted enjoyment . I suggest a deep heart to heart talk with him and offer to go thru counselling with him for his obvious sexual addiction which has him ensnared. You wont feel good by just letting it all slide . Regards.
I get the shock, but what does it have to do with you? He's not your son. It really is none of your business.
Id venture to guess that he has a great concern and love for his newphew and doesnt want to see him acquire STD(s) as a minimum , and HIV leading to AIDS which will take his life in a shameful undignified manner. As of 1998, 560,000 adult americans were reportedly affected with HIV/AIDS ..not including those that didnt report it or know they were a Carrier . In 12 years, the chances of acquiring it is so much higher . He is not apathetic , he is concerned about his newphews health and future , and is to be commended for not being a could-care-less relative . In fact, all of us should be concerned since it drastically affects the nation we all call home. Dont be tolerant to a fault which is apathy in disguise. Regards.
Uhm, you do realize the title of your thread is: "Close family member in adult industry. How to react?" and people are giving you their reactions and you've done nothing but crank about it through this whole god-forsaken thread. Why bother asking if such is the case?
If you had bothered to pay attention you would have realized that my nephew and I have already talked. I don't need some degreeless person acting as if they're world renowned psychologists. What is anything he said based off of? I respect people who offer constructive help who don't act as if they know everything.
If you had bothered to pay attention you would have realized that my nephew and I have already talked. I don't need some degreelessperson acting as if they're world renowned psychologists. What is anything you're saying based off of? I respect people who offer constructive help who don't act as if they know everything.
I have paid attention and if your issue is resolved then why perpetuate the thread with bitter bites to people who are just answering your question with their own reactions and it's not what you want to hear- it makes no sense.
I have paid attention and if your issue is resolved then why perpetuate the thread with bitter bites to people who are just answering your question with their own reactions and it's not what you want to hear- it makes no sense.
What makes no sense is people who keep raising issues that are non issues expecting me not to react. What makes no sense to me is people thinking that they're the next dr. phil.
I am not bitter. Just tired of dealing with these sorts of issues.
How to react? Well, you say you are close to this nephew. Why does that have to change. In respect to the revelation of his current career avenue, file that under Personal--Immediiate Family's Business and His Business. Then the next time you see him somewhere go over to him greet him warmly and treat him like the cherished nephew you described. He's still family, your flesh and blood. Don't withhold your love because of this new development. What the heck difference does it make? I think of relatives of mine I love who have either passed on or moved far away. Whatever affection I failed to show them before these things happened, it is too late now. One is left with only regret that they did not do things differently. Don't let that happen to you. Don't judge him, love him. Pay attention to him when the two of you speak together if you sense he is seeking some input from you regards his career/life choice, then you can chime in and if you do, please do so carefully and diplomaically. Preserve the relationship as best you can. Family is forever.
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