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I just don't know what to think of this. I had a friend visit me from out of state (known this person for ten years) and I let her sleep in the master BR as I actually like sleeping on my sofa. Anyway, she asked me if I had any shoes I wasn't using that she could have. I said I'd look but really have given any shoes away to the homeless I didn't want. The night she left, she went through my shoes and packed a pair in her suitcase without my knowledge. She had planned on driving back to her state and leaving at 4 a.m. and said she'd try not to wake me. Well, I woke up and it was then she said she'd found a pair of shoes she liked and had already packed them in her suitcase. She then proceeded to show them to me and said they were the only ones that fit her. I told her I liked those shoes and she could not take them.
What would you do if you were me? I will never quite trust her again with my "stuff" even though previously I had trusted her implicitly with my jewelry, etc.
BTW, I had another friend I am pretty sure stole from me too. I showed her my jewelry (I have quite the collection) and am convinced she took an expensive gold necklace that cannot be replaced. I went so far as to tell her this and, of course, she denied it. Due to this and other things, we parted ways. She called me a year later and due to circumstances we got back together. However, in the back of my mind this has always bothered me. No one else was in my house for two months after the necklace disappeared and I don't lose jewelry - especially not a larger sized gold necklace. She had done a lot of nice things for me so I found a way to overlook it, plus I can't prove it. Well, due to other things we're not friends anymore but that's a whole other story.
I guess you never really know what people are capable of. I just don't know what to think about this current friend's actions and if I should continue to be friends.
Sounds like your relationship could use some boundaries. Did you try saying, "You can't have any of my shoes?" This sounds like something a sister might do, or a VERY close friend, but not someone you only see once in awhile.
Sounds like your relationship could use some boundaries. Did you try saying, "You can't have any of my shoes?" This sounds like something a sister might do, or a VERY close friend, but not someone you only see once in awhile.
I guess I think the opposite. A sister or very close friend would have too much invested in the relationship to steal from me. This friend - well, we are close but rarely see each other due to her living in another state.
I did not say you can't have any of my shoes (as perhaps I had a pair I would have parted with, but just didn't feel like looking through my shoes plus I was pretty sure I didn't want to give any of them away, as I've already given plenty away and just went through all my things the other day and gave a pair away to the homeless), but that didn't give this person the right to go through my shoes. In fact, this friend told me she wouldn't paw through my shoes yet that is exactly what she did.
Last edited by mistygrl092; 01-01-2011 at 07:11 AM..
Reason: add thought
She wouldn't be invited back in my house again! You DON'T steal from friends! It's that cut and dried to me!
If I even suspect you stole something that is missing after you left, you are not invited back or allowed back in my house again.
I have to ask... why is it that you have friends that steal from you? It's proof enough that it was there when they arrived and gone when they left. I don't need anymore proof than that!
As for the person you think stole your necklace. Just keep an eye out. One of these days the two of you may be going to the same party or whatever and she'll be wearing it, not knowing you'll be there. On the shoe deal, I really hoped you reached out and took your shoes back.
My reaction would have been the same as Thursday007. LOL. Too bad none of my friends fit size 5 except for one but she got TONS of shoes. I would let her know how I feel and if she doesn't do anything, I'll move on. IMO... if I can't get those shoes back, I'll get something better.
Your tacky friend acted in poor taste but didn't *steal* from you. Next time someone asks if they can have something, and your answer is "no," actually TELL them NO. "I'll look" isn't a no. "I'll look" sounds like "I have so many shoes I can't even recall what i have" to a person who is a taker.
Your tacky friend acted in poor taste but didn't *steal* from you. Next time someone asks if they can have something, and your answer is "no," actually TELL them NO. "I'll look" isn't a no. "I'll look" sounds like "I have so many shoes I can't even recall what i have" to a person who is a taker.
I agree.
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