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I don't have a problem saying that I don't like kids and don't want any (and I'm a woman). Most people I know know that about me. The only sad thing is that most of my friends are married already and are now at the age when they start thinking about or trying to have a baby. Once they do - I just can't relate to them anymore and we pretty much stop hanging out I dread the day when my best friend tells me she's pregnant
The only sad thing is that most of my friends are married already and are now at the age when they start thinking about or trying to have a baby. Once they do - I just can't relate to them anymore and we pretty much stop hanging out I dread the day when my best friend tells me she's pregnant
I know what you mean, sweetheart.
Suddenly all the girlfriends who I used to go dancing with are now at mother’s groups or kid’s days. I miss them, but I understand, and there is no way I am going to change my mind simply for fear of getting “left behind”. The way I see it is I will always have those friends and the memories we shared, but it’s also ok to make new ones.
Can't really imagine basing my friendship with somebody on whether or not they have kids. I've got friends of all ages, genders, married and unmarried, and with and without kids. I have made VERY different lifestyle choices than probably the majority of my friends (especially my childhood friends), yet, the bonds are still there.
I should ask my BF's globetrotting father how exactly it is that he manages to travel to exotic locales for sh*ts n' giggles and maintain his Upper East Side condo despite having a 5-year old daughter. Oh, wait, I know...he makes a good living, AGAINST ALL ODDS, apparently, given that he has thrown away his life, along with all prayers of a normal and fulfilling existence, raising three sons into adulthood, and now one small daughter.
That's great if you make a good living - i.e. a lot of money - but what about when you make $700 a week?
I am 30 years old and I make that. $200 of it goes towards rent, I have $500 left to pay off the rest of my bills, put some into savings (usually $150 - $200) and have some sort of a life with... I can't even afford to pay for a car, let alone a child. We can't all afford condos on the Upper East Side.
I would be giving up my life and giving up doing the things I wanted. Of the little money I have left at the end of the week, I like to spend it on enjoying myself.
Would I have children if I had money? No. I like my life the way it is. I don't care how many parents say “oh don't worry, we can still sleep in/go to dinners/take holidays/stay out all night too!”, it’s never the same (in my experience of having friends who are parents, anyway). I like my time to be mine, too.
Last edited by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*; 02-03-2011 at 04:22 PM..
Not to justify any nasty behaviour, but you have clearly never had to constantly defend a personal life choice to people.
Pretty much everyone I know has kids or plans on having them someday. You may as well be a leper when you say “I don’t actually want kids” to them. Yes I know, get new friends. I have heard it all before. Problem is, society has drilled into their brains that you must reproduce.
IMO it’s twice as hard if you’re a woman. What kind of a woman doesn’t want children?
Also, some people do actually dislike children. I know that is impossible for some of you to believe, but it’s true. You go from leper to evil monster if you dare to tell the truth and say "I just don't like them".
That’s just the way it is. Yesterday one of my bosses had his beautiful little girl in here. She’s pretty and sweet and lovely, but hearing her run around and make noise made me want to make an appointment to get my tubes tied, and she wasn’t even being that loud. I could have screamed.
The childfree people on here who do like kids but don’t want any of their own are very lucky. They appear to have people around them who accept their choice.
Unfortunately it’s not the same for all of us.
Wowww! That is one assinine article.
I love how it villifies single women.
Of course there are a lot of positive articles too, but the fact that it's even considered unusual is insulting enough for me. A person should be able to make their own choice.
Of course there are a lot of positive articles too, but the fact that it's even considered unusual is insulting enough for me. A person should be able to make their own choice.
And yet we should be thankful that this is not the 1950's anymore! But the idea of the heartless b*tch who dislikes children (or who will never want to get married, or... ) and is such an un-natural woman, formerly known as a witch, because of this won't be eradicated anytime soon, I'm afraid.
That's great if you make a good living - i.e. a lot of money - but what about when you make $700 a week?
I am 30 years old and I make that. $200 of it goes towards rent, I have $500 left to pay off the rest of my bills, put some into savings (usually $150 - $200) and have some sort of a life with... I can't even afford to pay for a car, let alone a child. We can't all afford condos on the Upper East Side.
I'm aware of that. I certainly can't. Neither could my SO's dad, when he was 30. My point was to offer a counterpoint to the "People who are tied down by kids never have the freedom to travel, blah blah blah," argument. Having kids doesn't necessarily mean sacrificing all you want in life.
If you can't AFFORD to have kids, then it's best that you don't have them (whether you want them, or not, obviously). But this whole "the childfree have the freedom to travel the world, attending wine tastings in private jets, while those saddled with brats are stuck digging change out of their Big Lots-purchased couch cushions to buy Pampers from the dollar store" thing is bunk.
That's all.
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I dread the day when my best friend tells me she's pregnant 
