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Old 02-02-2011, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,028 posts, read 2,431,060 times
Reputation: 653

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I've lived in 3 different states now. I'm getting into my late 20's. I'm very introverted (not that it's bad overall, just not good for meeting new people), work at a job with people who are married and have kids, and just feel like I'm retarded when it comes to social situations. I've been battling a lot of depression and social anxiety as well. I'm an extremely sensitive person, so if I'm happy, I will be pretty much high and when I'm sad, I'll be absolutely miserable and really feel like I just want to die. I know I would have to start making a ton of changes now to start improving myself, but by the time I get to a point where I am happier, I would be much older and it would be even more difficult to find new friends that you are very close to anyway. So as a result I am just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole situation and trying to think more rationally despite my strong emotions I'm feeling. I don't belong where I am at my job. I don't belong in this field I'm working in. It just feels too late though because it's my only means of having a higher and stable income at the present time. I spent 4 years of college studying something I don't want to do anymore and I spent another 4 years working at a job for that field which I don't want to be a part of anymore.

I want to belong in another field, but I'm nothing like those people in the field. I'm not "cool" or "hip". I'm not witty or extroverted like these people. I'm just a bombshell of emotions trapped inside an introverted mind. How do you get to a point where you actually have friends if you start from having no friends. How do you tell people that after all of this time (college, work, etc.) that you just don't really have any friends? How do you start from nothing? Even just having one closer friend, people sort of look at you funny like is there something wrong with you? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Social anxiety is such an awful thing that no one is even aware of or understands.
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Old 02-02-2011, 11:25 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,849 posts, read 31,747,128 times
Reputation: 22478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caldus View Post
I've lived in 3 different states now. I'm getting into my late 20's. I'm very introverted (not that it's bad overall, just not good for meeting new people), work at a job with people who are married and have kids, and just feel like I'm retarded when it comes to social situations. I've been battling a lot of depression and social anxiety as well. I'm an extremely sensitive person, so if I'm happy, I will be pretty much high and when I'm sad, I'll be absolutely miserable and really feel like I just want to die. I know I would have to start making a ton of changes now to start improving myself, but by the time I get to a point where I am happier, I would be much older and it would be even more difficult to find new friends that you are very close to anyway. So as a result I am just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole situation and trying to think more rationally despite my strong emotions I'm feeling. I don't belong where I am at my job. I don't belong in this field I'm working in. It just feels too late though because it's my only means of having a higher and stable income at the present time. I spent 4 years of college studying something I don't want to do anymore and I spent another 4 years working at a job for that field which I don't want to be a part of anymore.

I want to belong in another field, but I'm nothing like those people in the field. I'm not "cool" or "hip". I'm not witty or extroverted like these people. I'm just a bombshell of emotions trapped inside an introverted mind. How do you get to a point where you actually have friends if you start from having no friends. How do you tell people that after all of this time (college, work, etc.) that you just don't really have any friends? How do you start from nothing? Even just having one closer friend, people sort of look at you funny like is there something wrong with you? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Social anxiety is such an awful thing that no one is even aware of or understands.
First off, just take a deep breath.

You are young and you have lots of time. There is no need to fly into panic mode because of any of this. Just relax for a minute and clear your mind.

Most people are unhappy in live because they have no clear goals. They have no plan of action. You need to sit down with a notebook and a pen and paper and you need to set some REALISTIC goals for yourself IN WRITING.

Break your life into periods of time, because you cannot do everything you want all at once. Start slow and work your way through your issues a day, week, month, year at a time. Be patient. Achieve one goal and then move on to the next. Do not rush things. Be methodical.

Identify your first goal, determine what steps you are going to take to reach that coal (write it down) and then follow the plan. Go on to the next step.

People tend to wander through life unfulfilled because their mind often jumps around and races. This is human nature. You have to be able to control your mind (and emotions), and devise a smart, workable, practical plan for your future. Do that and everything will come together for you. Whether you realize it or not you are 100 percent in control of every aspect of your future. Anything you wish to do - you can do! With the proper planning.

best of luck

20yrsinBranson
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Old 02-03-2011, 02:05 AM
 
29 posts, read 33,447 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caldus View Post
I've lived in 3 different states now. I'm getting into my late 20's. I'm very introverted (not that it's bad overall, just not good for meeting new people), work at a job with people who are married and have kids, and just feel like I'm retarded when it comes to social situations. I've been battling a lot of depression and social anxiety as well. I'm an extremely sensitive person, so if I'm happy, I will be pretty much high and when I'm sad, I'll be absolutely miserable and really feel like I just want to die. I know I would have to start making a ton of changes now to start improving myself, but by the time I get to a point where I am happier, I would be much older and it would be even more difficult to find new friends that you are very close to anyway. So as a result I am just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole situation and trying to think more rationally despite my strong emotions I'm feeling. I don't belong where I am at my job. I don't belong in this field I'm working in. It just feels too late though because it's my only means of having a higher and stable income at the present time. I spent 4 years of college studying something I don't want to do anymore and I spent another 4 years working at a job for that field which I don't want to be a part of anymore.

I want to belong in another field, but I'm nothing like those people in the field. I'm not "cool" or "hip". I'm not witty or extroverted like these people. I'm just a bombshell of emotions trapped inside an introverted mind. How do you get to a point where you actually have friends if you start from having no friends. How do you tell people that after all of this time (college, work, etc.) that you just don't really have any friends? How do you start from nothing? Even just having one closer friend, people sort of look at you funny like is there something wrong with you? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Social anxiety is such an awful thing that no one is even aware of or understands.

Of course, i would. If only i have known you personally. I would help you. But of course, to get rid of this loneliness, the first step is to help yourself.. don't start by having negative thoughts in mind.. don't start thinking of "you can't, what if"... you should learn how to adjust and to mingle with other people. You don't have to be witty or be like someone else. Try being friendly and try to go out with the people you know. I think you have low self esteem and that should be improved. You have fear of rejection. But that thing is really normal. Don't lose hope dear. Don't be sad. There's a lot of things to enjoy in this world. Cheer up buddy!
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Old 02-03-2011, 05:20 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,028 posts, read 2,431,060 times
Reputation: 653
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
First off, just take a deep breath.

You are young and you have lots of time. There is no need to fly into panic mode because of any of this. Just relax for a minute and clear your mind.

Most people are unhappy in live because they have no clear goals. They have no plan of action. You need to sit down with a notebook and a pen and paper and you need to set some REALISTIC goals for yourself IN WRITING.

Break your life into periods of time, because you cannot do everything you want all at once. Start slow and work your way through your issues a day, week, month, year at a time. Be patient. Achieve one goal and then move on to the next. Do not rush things. Be methodical.

Identify your first goal, determine what steps you are going to take to reach that coal (write it down) and then follow the plan. Go on to the next step.

People tend to wander through life unfulfilled because their mind often jumps around and races. This is human nature. You have to be able to control your mind (and emotions), and devise a smart, workable, practical plan for your future. Do that and everything will come together for you. Whether you realize it or not you are 100 percent in control of every aspect of your future. Anything you wish to do - you can do! With the proper planning.

best of luck

20yrsinBranson
Thank you, I understand what you're saying. I start feeling all sorts of strong feelings of jealousy and hopelessness because I see that everyone is established around my age as far as relationships are concerned and it so difficult for me to relax about it and just focus.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:08 AM
 
1,176 posts, read 2,010,713 times
Reputation: 1124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caldus View Post
I've lived in 3 different states now. I'm getting into my late 20's. I'm very introverted (not that it's bad overall, just not good for meeting new people), work at a job with people who are married and have kids, and just feel like I'm retarded when it comes to social situations. I've been battling a lot of depression and social anxiety as well. I'm an extremely sensitive person, so if I'm happy, I will be pretty much high and when I'm sad, I'll be absolutely miserable and really feel like I just want to die. I know I would have to start making a ton of changes now to start improving myself, but by the time I get to a point where I am happier, I would be much older and it would be even more difficult to find new friends that you are very close to anyway. So as a result I am just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole situation and trying to think more rationally despite my strong emotions I'm feeling. I don't belong where I am at my job. I don't belong in this field I'm working in. It just feels too late though because it's my only means of having a higher and stable income at the present time. I spent 4 years of college studying something I don't want to do anymore and I spent another 4 years working at a job for that field which I don't want to be a part of anymore.

I want to belong in another field, but I'm nothing like those people in the field. I'm not "cool" or "hip". I'm not witty or extroverted like these people. I'm just a bombshell of emotions trapped inside an introverted mind. How do you get to a point where you actually have friends if you start from having no friends. How do you tell people that after all of this time (college, work, etc.) that you just don't really have any friends? How do you start from nothing? Even just having one closer friend, people sort of look at you funny like is there something wrong with you? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Social anxiety is such an awful thing that no one is even aware of or understands.
i would go to my doctor and tell her how i'm feeling. he/she may prescribe counseling or she may just give you some drugs. i know this sounds like the "automatic" answer everyone gives but i would go see my Dr. and take it from there. i bet there's over a million people that feel just like you. good luck.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:55 AM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,660,766 times
Reputation: 1151
caldus to me its important to know your history. Have you had trouble making friends when you were younger in elementary, middle, highschool, college?
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,028 posts, read 2,431,060 times
Reputation: 653
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorhe33 View Post
caldus to me its important to know your history. Have you had trouble making friends when you were younger in elementary, middle, highschool, college?
I had a group of friends all throughout school. It was basically starting in college they all split apart and since then I haven't really had a closer friend.
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