Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Personally...I would want to help the sibling that was worthless, versus, the other that had it together.. Why?
Just because the other sibling maybe needs the extra knudge. He/she maybe needs the positive influence that you can give, to get him on the right track.
Sometimes, we are too quick to turn our back on the ones who really need us, and lean towards the ones who have their sh*t together..in reality, we need to reach out sometimes (not always) to the ones screaming out for help!!!
This weekend I'm going to pick up my brother in Kansas, a small town out there, but is not able to find suitable work.
So I asked him if he would like to come and stay with me while he gets on his feet out here.
My brother took up my offer.
I have 4 older brothers, this one right here would be there for you with no questions asked and has helped me out when I needed it.
My other brother is somewhat upset, because he asked if he could previously live with me, and I said no. The reason why I said no was because he dont like to pay bills or work and just likes to mooch off people.
Does anyone have a sibling who has no matter what dont understand the charity plate is broken for them?
I did tell my brother he can have dinner ready for me when I get home from work until he gets a job..lol.
How do you set limits for family members?
I just say no when I know Im being used.
Your in a tough spot. Last year at this time my husband and I let my sister and niece move in with us due to the fact that my sister lost her job and needed a place to stay. We mainly allowed them to stay for my nieces sake (she is 7). Allowing my sister to move in has been a disaster. From the moment she got here she tried to take over my house. I had simple ground rules such as picking up after yourself, being conservative with utilities and keeping the noise down. She couldn't follow any of them. She tried to tell me things like "I am not allowed in her or her daughters room" etc. Now mind you they moved in to my house. That went over like a lead balloon there have been various other arguments through out her stay. She made my home miserable.
Anyway here it is a year later and I recently had to tell her to find a place a move out. Apparently she thought she would just stay here "because she needs help with my niece. Sorry she is much older than me she needs to get her stuff together and find a place for her and her daughter. Anyway they are moving out this weekend and I have been waiting for this day for a year.
My sister is now threatening my husband and I with not being able to see our niece anymore (she uses her child like a pawn in a game). I refuse to give into her game and told her if that's what she feels she needs to do then go for it. I have no issues with having no relationship with my sister we don't get along that well anyway. I feel sorry for my niece who doesn't know any different.
I have one half sister from my mother's previous marriage.
And I have three half sisters from my father's previous marriage.
My birth father passed away when I was a baby (so I was raised my an abusive stepfather who I called dad).
My half sisyter's from my birth father were raised by their mother..so I did not see them.
My half sister from my mom was raised with me...but she was ten years older and we had nothing in common. We are both more like our father's side. She even had blue eyes and light brown hair. I have very dark brown eyes and black hair....lol. She is shy and easily influenced. I am outgoing and know how to stand up for myself when needed. We never had anything to do with each other growing up..SHe got married when I was 9 and she was 19..and I have seen her maybe ten times since then...and I am 34. I like to keep it that way.
My other sister (from my father's side) have some issues with me...that neither of us can control. They loved our father..and I have nothing but disdain for him. He passed away when I was a young baby..not even school aged. He cheated on my mom and they were seperated by the time I was born...he didnt come see me at the hospital when I was born..Saw me only twice in several years for a few mins. When he died I had no idea who I was looking at during his funeral...my mother stated remember this day...someday you will know this is your real father. Well I grew up and realized that my real dad lived about 30 mins from me and never came to see me. He was behind on child support and didnt care about me at all. I saw those sisters one time until I was 19. They contacted me wanting to talk to me. I met them all and they treated me like an outsider. they called our father dad..I called him Stanley. They told me stories about how he always made sure they had 20 dollars in their pockets etc. I said well he never cared enought to visit with me...and he never paid child support. My sister said well your mother moved you so far away! I said 30 mins is not too far to see your child. So that was that. I asked them to not contact me...I am 34 now...one of my sister's is dead on my dad's side. I didnt go to the funeral. They never even notified me that one of them had died.
I set one day and thought about all of my sisters recently. And I called my sister on my mom's side and tried to talk to her and we just dont know each other. And then I messaged my sister on my dad's side on facebook and she added me and sent me some messages. I am friendlier with my friends that we were to each other.
The truth is circumstances kept us from acting like sisters...and I think sometimes that you have to let go...if it causes you stress its no good....so I chose to let all of my sister's go. I will never talk to any of them again.
i think its great that you have set limits...and you should be able to keep a hold on things so you are not taken afvantage of!
Your in a tough spot. Last year at this time my husband and I let my sister and niece move in with us due to the fact that my sister lost her job and needed a place to stay. We mainly allowed them to stay for my nieces sake (she is 7). Allowing my sister to move in has been a disaster. From the moment she got here she tried to take over my house. I had simple ground rules such as picking up after yourself, being conservative with utilities and keeping the noise down. She couldn't follow any of them. She tried to tell me things like "I am not allowed in her or her daughters room" etc. Now mind you they moved in to my house. That went over like a lead balloon there have been various other arguments through out her stay. She made my home miserable.
Anyway here it is a year later and I recently had to tell her to find a place a move out. Apparently she thought she would just stay here "because she needs help with my niece. Sorry she is much older than me she needs to get her stuff together and find a place for her and her daughter. Anyway they are moving out this weekend and I have been waiting for this day for a year.
My sister is now threatening my husband and I with not being able to see our niece anymore (she uses her child like a pawn in a game). I refuse to give into her game and told her if that's what she feels she needs to do then go for it. I have no issues with having no relationship with my sister we don't get along that well anyway. I feel sorry for my niece who doesn't know any different.
Im sorry that happened..I let my brother stay with me once, the rules were his is going to to pay rent and if he gave it to his daughters mom then he was going to move with her. So sure enough I came home from work asked my brother for the rent money I knew he got paid that day, and he had the nerve to tell me I gave it to Pam ( the mother of his daughter) so I said ok pack your things and get out, So I made him move out that nite, not I kicked him out so has everybody else. My brother tends to find women that support him and they want to come crying to us when he dont pay his debts the put under their name. We have warned women he has been with not to get him large purchases like a car or anything because he wont make the payments, We are his family and we wont do it. Sure enough this woman he dated did, went out and bought him an suv, he didnt make the payments, they were hounding her for them, she came looking for us for help, we told her what do you want us to do? We told you not too. Then she wanted us to track down our brother, we told her no he's an adult that is your business it between you and him. We really didnt want to hear her cry about it. So no one helps him out anymore. Now he is trying to get a church and be the pastor leader or whatever and have members pay 10% of their income to him.
The sad thing is some idiots will.
I have one half sister from my mother's previous marriage.
And I have three half sisters from my father's previous marriage.
My birth father passed away when I was a baby (so I was raised my an abusive stepfather who I called dad).
My half sisyter's from my birth father were raised by their mother..so I did not see them.
My half sister from my mom was raised with me...but she was ten years older and we had nothing in common. We are both more like our father's side. She even had blue eyes and light brown hair. I have very dark brown eyes and black hair....lol. She is shy and easily influenced. I am outgoing and know how to stand up for myself when needed. We never had anything to do with each other growing up..SHe got married when I was 9 and she was 19..and I have seen her maybe ten times since then...and I am 34. I like to keep it that way.
My other sister (from my father's side) have some issues with me...that neither of us can control. They loved our father..and I have nothing but disdain for him. He passed away when I was a young baby..not even school aged. He cheated on my mom and they were seperated by the time I was born...he didnt come see me at the hospital when I was born..Saw me only twice in several years for a few mins. When he died I had no idea who I was looking at during his funeral...my mother stated remember this day...someday you will know this is your real father. Well I grew up and realized that my real dad lived about 30 mins from me and never came to see me. He was behind on child support and didnt care about me at all. I saw those sisters one time until I was 19. They contacted me wanting to talk to me. I met them all and they treated me like an outsider. they called our father dad..I called him Stanley. They told me stories about how he always made sure they had 20 dollars in their pockets etc. I said well he never cared enought to visit with me...and he never paid child support. My sister said well your mother moved you so far away! I said 30 mins is not too far to see your child. So that was that. I asked them to not contact me...I am 34 now...one of my sister's is dead on my dad's side. I didnt go to the funeral. They never even notified me that one of them had died.
I set one day and thought about all of my sisters recently. And I called my sister on my mom's side and tried to talk to her and we just dont know each other. And then I messaged my sister on my dad's side on facebook and she added me and sent me some messages. I am friendlier with my friends that we were to each other.
The truth is circumstances kept us from acting like sisters...and I think sometimes that you have to let go...if it causes you stress its no good....so I chose to let all of my sister's go. I will never talk to any of them again.
i think its great that you have set limits...and you should be able to keep a hold on things so you are not taken afvantage of!
My dad had an affair on my mom...the affair was a long one. The woman and him has a child she is between my sister and brother, my sister is 11 months older than me and my brother is 2 years older than me. I wasnt raised as my dads love child being my sister. I only see it as having two sister my oldest one the one who is 11 months older than me and my youngest one, the one who is 2 years younger than me.
We all do know now that she is my dad daughter, and we forgave our dad for cheating on our mom.
One day my older sister was on the bus and she happened to run into our dads love child. Her name is Missy, Missy had told my sister she wanted to get to know us, so my sister said ok. My sister asked me and I said I have no problem with that I wont slam the door on her face, what my dad did and her mom did was not her fault, but I dont have no sister love for her, but if she needed something I would be there for her, but within reason.
She has not yet contacted me.
If she did want to get to know me I would have no problem with it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
