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Originally Posted by Caldus
I started this new job recently and my supervisor is an extremely talkative person. He gets in very early before me and leaves some time after I do and I'm in there for at least 8 1/2 hours each day. So I know he's doing his work but he also spends copious amounts of time each day chatting with people nearby (I sit in the next large cube over and we're still in visible view of each other). He'll spend up to an hour sometimes chatting with someone and he is usually talking about 95% of the conversation. Everyone basically just listens to him. He's an interesting person but he talks a lot!  Meanwhile, I'm always having the hardest time even getting one word out of mouth when I'm in these situations at work. I just wonder how people are able to chat for that long and have seemingly infinite amounts of things to tell other people. I recognize that I'm extremely quiet and introverted and going to work on improving that, but even if I wasn't he talks a lot to the point of distracting me from doing my work. I'm thinking about putting on some headphones and listening to music but I don't want to look like I'm trying to ignore people or something. How are people able to do that?
I want to get better at being able to contribute something to a conversation even if it's a small amount but have no idea how. I'm the youngest person in the area I work in and everyone else is probably a good 10-15 years older than me. A lot of the topics are more sophisticated and I never have any clue what sort of questions to even ask without putting my foot in my mouth. Everyone else always seems to know what to say and I never do. How do I get better at this? I've been listening to audiobooks about communicating and interacting with people. I've also thought about joining a Toastmasters club (I heard that they have sessions where they make you talk on the spot for some time about whatever). How can I improve in these situations? |
I used to be exactly like you. Don't worry though, it will get better. You do need to work at it though. I did join toastmasters and it was one of the best things I ever did. Toastmasters is a wonderful organization with lots of interesting people that are very helpful. I see you're from Chicago so there should be lot of clubs going on there. I learned so much confidence from public speaking.
Don't be afraid to converse at work. Most people like quiet people and would like them to open up more. If you like animals and see a coworker with a photo of her cat or dog, that's a great conversation starter. If you like children, a lot of women in the working world are moms and the topic of children is a good conversation starter. Sports is another good topic to chat about.
I would need to know more about your supervisor to give you advice about him/her. Do you two get along? Does he/she ever act like they want to chat with you? Like ask you questions to get you talking? Is you've said yes to any of these, then go ahead and jump in and converse some. Just be sure to don't overdo it, since you want to look like a good worker too. Just don't worry about being nervous and you'll make it!
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