Neighbor Woes (Ok, that's kind of an exaggeration) (spouse, husband, person)
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So for the 2nd time today, my next door neighbor asked to borrow money. $5 no big deal. I honestly had no money today so I told him I didn't have any and he goes on with a sob story how he has to wait 3 weeks for his paycheck. What the heck is $5 going to do if he has to wait 3 more weeks for money to come in?! Rhetorical question.
Anyway, the first time it happened, "Juan" knocked on our door and DH got it. I think I was showering and DH, the do-gooder of the pair - goes into my purse and takes out $5 for Juan. Fine, not a big deal, it's only $5 but Dh and I are at odds about this. How many times is he going to come to our house to ask for money? I feel like a jerk fussing over $5 but a.) we're not friends and b.) I'm afraid he'll turn this into a habit. What then?
Granted $5 isn't a big deal but would you just go knock on your neighbor door and ask for money? We've only lived here 7 months so it's not like we're friends or anything but I'm afraid Juan is going to start looking for DH to borrow money and ignore me now. Knowing DH, he'd always give it but I think we both need to be in agreement about what to do if this were to happen again in the future.
I can tell this is going to escalate into a big deal with DH. He's one of those "money karma" guys that think if you give your money away, good things will happen. I can be on the stingy side, I admit, but since marrying him, I have become more liberal with money but where do you draw the line?
Screw Juan. I wouldn't give him money either. However, if it makes your husband happy to give him $5, then I wouldn't pester your husband about it too much. I would let him know you aren't really comfortable with it, but $5 is a pretty inexpensive cost to feel good and it's not worth arguing over.
I would start hiding my money in a different section of my purse. I'm stingy too.
If it really gets on your nerves, you can always privately tell Juan that you're a little uncomfortable with him panhandling in your neighborhood and that if he doesn't stop you're going to have to mention it to the landlord.
Next time he comes to the door tell him you have no money to spare or you will have him at your door everyday with the same sad story, i could never go to a neighbor and ask for money, this guy does this all the time, tell your spouse that it is doing the guy no good to give him hand outs.
i had a neighbor who started out borrowing some salt, sugar and such, then it turned to money, I put a stop to it right then.
I agree with the above opinions, put a stop to it. Something similar happened to me, it was a person that worked in the same building as I did. She asked me for a crazy amount of money. I had just seen this woman in the elevator or in the parking lot, saying hello in passing. I made up a story so good, I think she walked away saying "d**m, he's in bad shape" LOL
She never asked me for anything again, as a matter of fact I don't think she said too much of anything to me even in the parking lot !
Years and years ago I made the mistake of loaning a sister in-law some money, it wasn't a large amount but after the first time then it was easier for her to ask the second and third and so on, this lead to anouther sister in-law to ask for money and then anouther, they always paid it back but it was someone wanting money every week, the amounts grew each time and finally one of them wanted a large amount to buy a car, it became stressful and I had to stop it, they didn't talk to me for years after that, I learned a lesson, I work for my money and I'm not a quik cash loan company.
The funny thing is, it probably wasn't for anything life threatening, like milk for his kids or something. My brother used to ask my mom or pretty much anyone but me for $10 for gas, and then go put $5 in gas and spend the rest of cigarettes. We all knew he did this, and he would always end up running out of gas on the way to work. Serves him right if you ask me.
Next time, I think I would just casually ask, "what's it for?" to see what he says. Then say, "Do you see a sign that says Salvation Army on my door?". Lastly, tell him you are going to report him to the landlord for harassment if he does it again.
You could just threaten to call immigration. Hehe!! I bet that would change his mind the next time he considers knockin on your door.
Personally, I would rather count out my pennies than ask someone for money. If my child was starving, I would seek help from a legitimate source. Of course, I have ALWAYS worked. I have collected unemployment for a week once I think. This is because I have ALWAYS found another job before it started, and when pregnant I couldn't even get WIC because we made $40 too much a month. There is always a way, if someone wants to find it.
Thanks guys. I appreciate everybody's response. One thing I haven't learned very well about marriage is "pick your fights". This one isn't worth fighting over. He has his perrogative and I have mine. I need to learn to just let it be.
To "lighten" the situation, DH came up with a solution: to have a "Juan Fund". We stick $5 in an envelope and when he asks to borrow $5, we use that moola. He pays us back so the next time he asks, there it is. I wasn't too thrilled and he was totally joking but sometimes, I just want to strangle DH!
If he asks for more than $5, which is what I'm afraid it will escalate to, then deals off for sure. I'm drawing the line at $5!
To the OP- my former husband was a soft touch (with my money) endless people at work asking him to borrow money. Well, last year he loaned 1000.00 to a loser who was having his wages garnished (who knows why-probably child support) I told my husband that guy would NEVER pay us back, and I was correct. (unfortunately!).
If Juan isn't someone that you would consider a friend, then he sounds like a druggie and, IMHO, he will rob your home at some time in the future if he thinks you keep money in your house.
The funny thing is, it probably wasn't for anything life threatening, like milk for his kids or something. My brother used to ask my mom or pretty much anyone but me for $10 for gas, and then go put $5 in gas and spend the rest of cigarettes. We all knew he did this, and he would always end up running out of gas on the way to work. Serves him right if you ask me.
Next time, I think I would just casually ask, "what's it for?" to see what he says. Then say, "Do you see a sign that says Salvation Army on my door?". Lastly, tell him you are going to report him to the landlord for harassment if he does it again.
You could just threaten to call immigration. Hehe!! I bet that would change his mind the next time he considers knockin on your door.
Personally, I would rather count out my pennies than ask someone for money. If my child was starving, I would seek help from a legitimate source. Of course, I have ALWAYS worked. I have collected unemployment for a week once I think. This is because I have ALWAYS found another job before it started, and when pregnant I couldn't even get WIC because we made $40 too much a month. There is always a way, if someone wants to find it.
Im sorry did I miss the part that he was an illegal alien?? Because he asked to borrow money ( I would never do that) and his name is Juan does that mean he's ilegal???
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Serves him right if you ask me. 
