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This may sound like a strange question, but how much do you get together with female friends when you're in your mid-30's? I have a few female friends who are all married like me (none of us have kids). But I have more time alone (and am very lonely) due to my husband's work schedule. I ask them to do something every other weekend or so and now I'm wondering if this is too much. I don't want to come across as too needy, even though I really need friends and I like to go out and do things (but prefer not to do things alone all the time). I have only lived in my area for 4 years and didn't know anyone before we moved here so my social network is not large.
Recently one of these female friends has been blowing me off. I'm sad that clearly she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore and wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
This may sound like a strange question, but how much do you get together with female friends when you're in your mid-30's? I have a few female friends who are all married like me (none of us have kids). But I have more time alone (and am very lonely) due to my husband's work schedule. I ask them to do something every other weekend or so and now I'm wondering if this is too much. I don't want to come across as too needy, even though I really need friends and I like to go out and do things (but prefer not to do things alone all the time). I have only lived in my area for 4 years and didn't know anyone before we moved here so my social network is not large.
Recently one of these female friends has been blowing me off. I'm sad that clearly she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore and wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
You may be coming off as too needy honey.
Even without having kids your friends are likely busy with their significant others or other hobbies that you don't know about and may feel pressured by you.
Learn to cultivate an enjoyment of your alone time Start reading more, maybe do scrapbooking, write the Great American Novel, take a cooking class every Saturday, join the YMCA and start working out, that kind of thing.
Who knows? By taking up a new hobby you may even make some new friends!
This may sound like a strange question, but how much do you get together with female friends when you're in your mid-30's? I have a few female friends who are all married like me (none of us have kids). But I have more time alone (and am very lonely) due to my husband's work schedule. I ask them to do something every other weekend or so and now I'm wondering if this is too much. I don't want to come across as too needy, even though I really need friends and I like to go out and do things (but prefer not to do things alone all the time). I have only lived in my area for 4 years and didn't know anyone before we moved here so my social network is not large.
Recently one of these female friends has been blowing me off. I'm sad that clearly she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore and wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
I try to get together with friends maybe once a month (and that's a stretch because it ends up like two or three). Every other weekend would be too much for me (although I work most of them) but even if I didn't, I would rather spend time doing things with a variety of other friends, housework or just spending time alone.
Sounds like you need to broaden your network of friends, so get out there and broaden!
I try to get together with friends maybe once a month (and that's a stretch because it ends up like two or three). Every other weekend would be too much for me (although I work most of them) but even if I didn't, I would rather spend time doing things with a variety of other friends, housework or just spending time alone.
Sounds like you need to broaden your network of friends, so get out there and broaden!
For years through our 30 and 40's my core group of friends did a once a month get together (except every July when too many were always at the beach or on vacation!). We stayed faithful to the once a month time frame, but sometimes not everyone would be there. Life gets so busy sometimes!
For years through our 30 and 40's my core group of friends did a once a month get together (except every July when too many were always at the beach or on vacation!). We stayed faithful to the once a month time frame, but sometimes not everyone would be there. Life gets so busy sometimes!
I agree LM, that's the problem. We have good intentions and before you know it, something comes up, the month whizzes by and we have to start over. We do make a point to talk/text each other every week or so just to keep in touch.
Um, every few months? When we make the time, which ends being usually at about that interval. I'm in my midthirties, and of my friends who, like me, are in a long-term relationship or marriage and don't have kids, several months can easily go by without there being an opportunity to get together where both/all parties are free. We all have pretty full lives with work, school, our relationships/marriages, and individual pursuits, and finding days/times when our schedules mesh isn't that often. For the people with kids, it's even harder.
Plus, I've always kind of preferred "me" time and entertaining myself, so I'm not as likely to schedule my little pockets of alone time away. Another issue is that I'm not a super big plan ahead type, so my fun outings are often very spur of the moment and spontaneous, which doesn't always work for friends, so I end up just doing them alone or with my SO. I also don't do a lot of the traditional "girlfriend" activities (shopping...I HATE shopping and only do it in as utilitarian a manner as possible, girl's night...I'm a homebody, not really into clubs, etc.),
We all have pretty full lives with work, school, our relationships/marriages, and individual pursuits, and finding days/times when our schedules mesh isn't that often. For the people with kids, it's even harder.
This is the problem I think. Whenever I hear that phrase I feel sad, because I need to have a "fuller life" but don't really know how to achieve that. My husband travels for business often, and works 70 hour weeks. I wish he was around more, but due to his work schedule it's just not going to happen.
We moved here not knowing anyone four years ago, so have had to try to make friends from scratch, which is hard in your 30's. I work full-time and enjoy socializing at work, and have invited some other women out for lunch, etc. but it's not reciprocated. No family in the area to spend time with--our family is all a 5 hour plane ride away and we only see them once a year.
I am in a book club and a cooking club, and have enjoyed socializing through these venues, but everyone seems "too busy" to hang out much. When I have suggested adding additional get-togethers to these clubs it has been met with resistance, with everyone saying they are "too busy." I am not busy at all, never have plans unfortunately, am alone too much, and I wish I had friends I could do things with every weekend, but now I feel like maybe I project neediness because I'm always asking people to do things since my husband is away on business so much and maybe that annoys them. I have 3 friends that I've made in the area, which is great, but seeing them once a month just doesn't work for me. I have a therapist who I'm seeing about this issue because I am just so lonely all the time. I guess the answer is to join more social groups, but I just feel this void in terms of the extreme lonlieness.
How are you doing since you wrote this almost a year ago? It's funny, but when you live in an area where people have family and/or childhood friendships and you don't...it can be very difficult and lonely. I've been there and I grapple with this issue too. I'll be honest...if you have children, that can sometimes alleviate the problem a little if you join mom groups, etc. BUT.... motherhood can also be very isolating. Life is hard and sometimes I think all of our modern connections make it harder. But...you are not alone. You really aren't. There are other people like you, in your community. Hang in there!
This may sound like a strange question, but how much do you get together with female friends when you're in your mid-30's? I have a few female friends who are all married like me (none of us have kids). But I have more time alone (and am very lonely) due to my husband's work schedule. I ask them to do something every other weekend or so and now I'm wondering if this is too much. I don't want to come across as too needy, even though I really need friends and I like to go out and do things (but prefer not to do things alone all the time). I have only lived in my area for 4 years and didn't know anyone before we moved here so my social network is not large.
Recently one of these female friends has been blowing me off. I'm sad that clearly she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore and wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
Lonely and married? Happy with marriage?
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Start reading more, maybe do scrapbooking, write the Great American Novel, take a cooking class every Saturday, join the YMCA and start working out, that kind of thing. 
Every other weekend would be too much for me (although I work most of them) but even if I didn't, I would rather spend time doing things with a variety of other friends, housework or just spending time alone. 
