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Old 05-23-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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a mutual friend of yours that you had a falling out with?

Anyways, 2 of my best friends had a falling out a few months ago and I remained friends with both of them. One of them started acting very withdrawn and distant. I figured it had something to do with the fallout but not exactly in what context and the whole time, I was offended that she wouldn't say anything to me, just acted strange instead.

Well finally last night, it came up, she said she doesn't trust me now and that thats why she pushed me away. That she stopped me from hurting her a long time ago ...

I don't know how to take that. We set a time to talk about it on wednesday, but I just find it very strange that I had to choose friends all this time and that if I didn't, I'm suddenly out to hurt everyone. I never brought them around each other and I never talk about any of them to each other unless they ask.

so how would you handle this?
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Tucson
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Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
I never brought them around each other and I never talk about any of them to each other unless they ask.
I think you handled it well.

Since the girl told you she couldn't trust you anymore, though, I wonder if the other person really did something untrustworthy or she was just being melodramatic.
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
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Sounds like alot of BS drama to me.
Listen to what she has to say, and if you still have no idea what she is talking about, then tell her to "have a nice life."
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Unfortunately, women are like that. They want you to pick and take sides. I think you did the right thing. I would tell her on Wed that you treasure her friendship but you also treasure the other person's friendship and you don't want to be in the middle or choose which one to stay friends with. You want to stay friends with both.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:01 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
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First I would reconsider my definition of "best" friend because it seems rather silly and selfish for either one of them to hold YOU accountable to their fallout. That's between the two of them. Period. It's conduct unworthy of a being called a best friend for sure.

I would tell both of them that I will remain friends with them but will not discuss the other to them so don't ask.

Neutral is best in this situation.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:02 PM
 
Location: SWUS
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I've been in the same position and done the same thing. You handled it well and it sounds like it's a very personal issue for the person uou have to go talk with. Just beware the "friend break-up" talk. lol.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I think you handled it well.

Since the girl told you she couldn't trust you anymore, though, I wonder if the other person really did something untrustworthy or she was just being melodramatic.
The thing the other girl did was just stopped being friends with her because the one that is hurt was being rude to me and other people and so she cut her out. Nothing else. I'm not friends with horrible and disgusting people, if that was the case, I would have picked sides, lol.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson
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Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
The thing the other girl did was just stopped being friends with her because the one that is hurt was being rude to me and other people and so she cut her out. Nothing else. I'm not friends with horrible and disgusting people, if that was the case, I would have picked sides, lol.
I just thought she might've done something really horrible and unforgivable, in which case I could see the other girl's point. If that's not the case, I'd cut the drama llama loose.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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yankee-ya I agree. but that was why I didn't respond to her pushing me away, I just went to dance practice, sucked it up that I was now out casted and went home and lived my life. I don't have time to figure people out over things they don't want to talk to me about.

donie1-hehe, that's exactly why I hesitate to befriend women now. They always think you're out to hurt them and then create drama based on that..its psychotic to me.

seeniorita-only the one girl is holding me accountable, the other girl is fine with it and in fact we just talked about it a few minutes ago and she thinks the one that is hurt is being immature and rude. but ya, she was my best friend, things have changed, so ya you're right, she's not being a "best" friend, lol.

Jordan-haha, eh, I can handle the friend break up talk..its whatever at this point.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:21 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 7,651,576 times
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Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I just thought she might've done something really horrible and unforgivable, in which case I could see the other girl's point. If that's not the case, I'd cut the drama llama loose.
nope, nothing like that. just petty girl cr*p and the drama llama (lol) hates the other girl with a passion so that's why she's hurt that I'm friends with her I guess.
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