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I used to work with a guy 3 years ago. He was finishing up a Commerce degree majoring in management and stayed at our company for about a year. He was always urging me to follow his footsteps, at first it was motivational talk .. pumping me up...he continued that for about 2 years. He stopped trying and in fact last year he started to get more and more on my nerves. He would tell me how I was wasting my time at a company with no growth potential (he's right), but as I told him the job pleased me otherwise and I'm a loyal person, so was okay with it for various reasons. He didn't like it, it was beneath him boasting how he used 5% of his brainpower to do the job. In other words, any dummy could do the job.
The ex colleague helped me move last year, well he did so for an hour packing boxes. When packing he noticed an iPod touch still in the box which I never used anyway so I told him, take it it's yours. I don't know if that was the turning point or what but soon after, his calls got few and far between. He was moving up the corporate ladder at a bank , pursuing his graduate diploma....I stayed in my current job with a BA in something else... we drifted apart. But not before he began to compare me to his cousin who he called a loser and a dreamer, a guy who dreamt of making it big but could never finish anything. Nice guy to talk about family and friends that way.
He stopped calling until I texted him last week wishing him happy birthday in Spanish ..he texted back, "thanks VAW! I'll call you on the weekend" Did he call me? Nope. Pretty clear that our friendship, if you can call it that, is done. You know what? The only thing I regret is giving this guy, who wasn't even a true friend, such an expensive gift. I should have saved it for a family member who would have actually deserved it.
Would you delete his number and never look back or stay in touch with occasional texts? I don't see much point in investing time thinking about him, especially after the recent snub.
You're two different people. He wanted to help you progress in your life and you are comfortable not taking chances. He was talking to a brick wall.
Consider the ipod touch a thank you to him for helping you with the move and trying to help you by giving you motivate speeches. He really wanted to help you in life.
I think you need to look at yourself and your behavior. Alot of your threads you act like people take advantage of you, etc. But in reality, I think alot of people in your life have tried to help you but you don't understand that. Please open yourself up to seeing and understanding what people are doing for you.
Crystal clear that in a relationship with this individual you will be a subordinate. I suppose you should be grateful, considering his superior qualities.
You will never be able to do enough for him and the more you do the less he will respect you.
Describing others as 'losers'---very revealing.
I wouldn't do anything to alienate him--there might come a time when your paths cross again, professionally. Be cordial and civilized if he contacts you.
As far as a personal relationship--into the circular file with him.
You're two different people. He wanted to help you progress in your life and you are comfortable not taking chances. He was talking to a brick wall.
Consider the ipod touch a thank you to him for helping you with the move and trying to help you by giving you motivate speeches. He really wanted to help you in life.
That's true, our way of thinking is different. I'm a conservative thinker, he's a daring risk taker. He tried to get me to think like him and while it was exciting for a while, it ultimately failed to register as I wasn't ready to make the plunge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by donie1
I think you need to look at yourself and your behavior. Alot of your threads you act like people take advantage of you, etc. But in reality, I think alot of people in your life have tried to help you but you don't understand that. Please open yourself up to seeing and understanding what people are doing for you.
donie1, I don't recall too much contribution from you in my past threads so feel free to elaborate how it is I write that people take advantage of me but have actually helped me. I certainly don't see that happening at work (the help part).
Quote:
Originally Posted by TakeAhike
Your instincts are correct.
Crystal clear that in a relationship with this individual you will be a subordinate. I suppose you should be grateful, considering his superior qualities. You will never be able to do enough for him and the more you do the less he will respect you.
Yup, I don't think I can ever measure up to his "standards", nor do I feel I have to. But what do you mean that the more I do, the less he'll respect me?
I texted him last week wishing him happy birthday in Spanish ..he texted back, "thanks VAW! I'll call you on the weekend" Did he call me? Nope. Pretty clear that our friendship, if you can call it that, is done. You know what? The only thing I regret is giving this guy, who wasn't even a true friend, such an expensive gift. I should have saved it for a family member who would have actually deserved it.
Would you delete his number and never look back or stay in touch with occasional texts? I don't see much point in investing time thinking about him, especially after the recent snub.
Note that while I texted him May 20 and he texted right back that he'd call that weekend, I didn't hear from him until he just left a voice mail June 14. He claimed he was so busy with women, life, his job, etc...
When I told my parents (I was visiting them when he left the voice mail) about this and how I thought my acquaintance was dead..they were and asked , VAW, why do you say that? Gosh he could have been busy.... (Dad even defended the guy's actions). Well I don't feel the burning urge to call him back right away, maybe I'll just send him an email/text saying I'm busy preparing for a move, I'll contact him next month.
what would you do in my shoes given what transpired?
I used to work with a guy 3 years ago. He was finishing up a Commerce degree majoring in management and stayed at our company for about a year. He was always urging me to follow his footsteps, at first it was motivational talk .. pumping me up...he continued that for about 2 years. He stopped trying and in fact last year he started to get more and more on my nerves. He would tell me how I was wasting my time at a company with no growth potential (he's right), but as I told him the job pleased me otherwise and I'm a loyal person, so was okay with it for various reasons. He didn't like it, it was beneath him boasting how he used 5% of his brainpower to do the job. In other words, any dummy could do the job.
The ex colleague helped me move last year, well he did so for an hour packing boxes. When packing he noticed an iPod touch still in the box which I never used anyway so I told him, take it it's yours. I don't know if that was the turning point or what but soon after, his calls got few and far between. He was moving up the corporate ladder at a bank , pursuing his graduate diploma....I stayed in my current job with a BA in something else... we drifted apart. But not before he began to compare me to his cousin who he called a loser and a dreamer, a guy who dreamt of making it big but could never finish anything. Nice guy to talk about family and friends that way.
He stopped calling until I texted him last week wishing him happy birthday in Spanish ..he texted back, "thanks VAW! I'll call you on the weekend" Did he call me? Nope. Pretty clear that our friendship, if you can call it that, is done. You know what? The only thing I regret is giving this guy, who wasn't even a true friend, such an expensive gift. I should have saved it for a family member who would have actually deserved it.
Would you delete his number and never look back or stay in touch with occasional texts? I don't see much point in investing time thinking about him, especially after the recent snub.
He is probably pissed you didn't let him...... pump you up.
Note that while I texted him May 20 and he texted right back that he'd call that weekend, I didn't hear from him until he just left a voice mail June 14. He claimed he was so busy with women, life, his job, etc...
When I told my parents (I was visiting them when he left the voice mail) about this and how I thought my acquaintance was dead..they were and asked , VAW, why do you say that? Gosh he could have been busy.... (Dad even defended the guy's actions). Well I don't feel the burning urge to call him back right away, maybe I'll just send him an email/text saying I'm busy preparing for a move, I'll contact him next month.
what would you do in my shoes given what transpired?
People get really busy especially when they have high aspirations. There are times when I don't contact friends for 6 months at a time. There are also times where there isn't anything left to talk about. It kind of goes both ways. If you feel like you have nothing in common anymore you can feel free to delete his information. As long as you won't regret losing contact. I've done this to many, many friends and I don't really care because I don't feel the need to be in contact with everyone that I've ever been friends with. It makes my life easier not to think about them.
Note that while I texted him May 20 and he texted right back that he'd call that weekend, I didn't hear from him until he just left a voice mail June 14. He claimed he was so busy with women, life, his job, etc...
When I told my parents (I was visiting them when he left the voice mail) about this and how I thought my acquaintance was dead..they were and asked , VAW, why do you say that? Gosh he could have been busy.... (Dad even defended the guy's actions). Well I don't feel the burning urge to call him back right away, maybe I'll just send him an email/text saying I'm busy preparing for a move, I'll contact him next month.
what would you do in my shoes given what transpired?
Another drama queen story. Oh, cut all the drama. Cut the drama and call him or don't call him - but act like an adult and quit trying to play head games with everyone you encouter. It's childish and a waste of time and energy.
While he may be busy with life, you obviously have nothing better to do since you spend all your time obsessed with scheming and plotting about people.
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and asked , VAW, why do you say that? Gosh he could have been busy.... (Dad even defended the guy's actions). Well I don't feel the burning urge to call him back right away, maybe I'll just send him an email/text saying I'm busy preparing for a move, I'll contact him next month.
