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It's a can of worms, so I'll just say it as briefly as I can.
1. One child is close to the mother, one not (the latter apparently due to childhood abuse)
2. Father passes away and leaves house to son and a note to his wife to leave her house to the daughter. Daughter and spouse violent and the spouse makes false accusations related to the father's will. As well as the letter from the deceased father (mailed upon his death) to the mother explaining that he did not want either child to inherit more than one house. Since one already had a nice $400K house and the other was in a mobile home. And he was very unclear if the son would be remembered at all by the mother, so he was determined to divide the two houses, so the daughter could not get her mother's house, half his house, as welll as the 5 bedroom home she lives in. Only to leave the son, half his house.
3. Father told the son before his death, "do not trust your sister's spouse, I've known him 14 years and beware."
4. Both kids were co-personal reps. meaning the child that did not get the father's house had to sign the deed over to the other. They used this, and witheld their signature to get what they wanted from the personal property which included alot of antiques.
5. Child who did not get the house hired a lawyer who made demands. The other child had to hire a lawyer to rebut the demands.
6. Finally after about $2000 in legal fees per child, and 8 months later an agreement was reached.
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The problems, start here:
7. Child close to the mother and other relatives, blame the child who is not close to the mother, and who got the father's house. She told everyone that she had to hire a lawyer because I hired a lawyer. 100% false and I have proof.
8. So, 82 year old Mother has heard deceit, and no telling what other propaganda, about the distant son.
9. Son wanted to go to Mother's house to get child hood items that he owned. Mother picked an unusual date and time and it turned out the daughter was to arrive that morning = mother won't allow son over unless daughter is present = lack of trust and more, due to influence by daughter and her dishonest husband. My sister does not trust me for false reasons. I do not trust her husband.
10. Uncle told me that he and my Mother are the talkers in the family. I said, well, "my mother doesn't talk to me, my sister won't let her." He gave no response and showed little emotion when he heard that.
11. Another example: I went to my Mother's house at 1pm on a Tuesday. She was to be at work at 2pm. Would not answer the door, saying she was getting ready for work, so I left a note on her car window. She called me that night and was off work 3 days later so the plan was I go there Friday at 11am. The next night I get a call, and the plan for me to visit there was cancelled, and blamed on "too busy." What? Too busy for an 82 year old with no health problems and who works 40 hours a week, to let her son come by for 10 minutes? I highly suspect the daughter talked to her mother and influenced that cancellation.
12. All local relatives blame me for the father's probate issues. My sister had every day for 11 months to sign the deed over and would not. (until the date to close probate was on the horizon)
The son is being isolated from the mother by his sister and her spouse and all the false things they have said about me over the last 15 years since their marriage. The mother being age 82 is logically believing the very close daughter. What is the son to do?
Seriously, just wash your hands of the whole situation. Walk away. What you don't already have in your possession, you won't get. Try to have a friendly conversation with Mom a couple times a week and just ignore the whole inheritance thing. Let the greedy sibs fight it out and stay out of it.
I've been there and done that and whatever you stand to gain isn't worth the price you will pay. Chances are they will do a number on your Mom too. Be there when she realizes she has been taken.
Seriously, just wash your hands of the whole situation. Walk away. What you don't already have in your possession, you won't get. Try to have a friendly conversation with Mom a couple times a week and just ignore the whole inheritance thing. Let the greedy sibs fight it out and stay out of it.
I've been there and done that and whatever you stand to gain isn't worth the price you will pay. Chances are they will do a number on your Mom too. Be there when she realizes she has been taken.
Thanks for your reply.
There is only one sibling, my sister, but her husband is the questionable one on honesty. He accused me of some serious crimes of writing my father's will and threatened me over the phone. I saw a side of him his wife does not know about.
They visit and speak to my Mother often, I'd say by phone, weekly and visits maybe 2 per year and my Mother usually visits them once a year, three states away. When my sister and her husband take a trip, for example to a football game that passes them near here, they will drop my Mother's grandchild off, so that whole crowd is in touch. I'm not.
Contact my Mother twice a week?
I live 4 miles away and only seen her 5 times in 25 years.
(sister's wedding, run in at a grocery store, her sister's funeral, one day at her house, and I can not think of the 5th time)
If I showed up at her door even once a month, it would stick out like a sore thumb.
My sister claims, I only entered my father's life when his health got bad. Not true at all. So, she'd jump on any regular visits to my Mother unless my Mother somehow initiated it.
It won't be my mother that gets taken, it would be the unfluence my sister and her husband have on whether my mother remembers me.
We know the house will go to my sister, my father created the plan on that. My Mother's car is a 1985 with 260,000 miles and the personal property is very vintage (1950's - 1960's) and maybe able to be donated to Goodwill.
I've had a key to my Mother's house since 1976. I've never used it. I'm more honest and sincere than she thinks. Too bad I missed out on so much the last 40 years of adult life, and might lose out again, should I survive my Mother.
What's so wrong with OP standing up and fighting for what rightfully belongs to him? I don't get why the other posters here are advocating that he just give up and walk away?
I have been there, myself...my late father's live-in g/f forged a legally-unenforceable will, stole hundreds of thousands of dollars that would have gone to me and my sister, burned down my father's apartment destroying all the evidence that could incriminate her, and fled the state with said money and assets in her possession. Still on the lam today, for all I know...and she got away with it...
1. None of us should assume we will get a darn thing from our parents. Period. They owe us nothing. You are an adult with the ability to make your own way in the world. IF you happen to receive something in a will, great. Look on it like an unexpected blessing. If not, you've lost NOTHING because no one owed you anything to begin with. It doesn't matter if sister Sue gets more than you, or if your mom leaves it all to a dog-spaying charity. None of it was ever "yours" to begin with. You are owed nothing.
2. If you have only seen your mother 5 times in 25 years, you are not close to her. Doesn't matter if that's your fault or hers, or if you two just make each other unhappy. Your dad died first. Anything that was THEIRS is now HERS. So it doesn't really matter what your dad said to you about who should get what. She's still here, it's her house and her stuff. You are being very greedy to bring this up at all.
3. If your mother is 82, assuming fertility stops by 50 in all but extreme cases, you are at least 32, likely considerably older. If by that point, you are still living in a mobile home and have failed to make something of yourself, you have no one to blame for that except yourself. It is not your sister's fault you have not made your way as an adult. It is not your father's fault. It is not your mother's fault. Quit trying to cash in on your father's death and use it as a freebie to get out of the adult mistakes you have made. Man up and take responsibility for your life. Same thing goes for "childhood things in the house." Anything you wanted should have gone with you in college. Your mother is not a storage service.
What's so wrong with OP standing up and fighting for what rightfully belongs to him? I don't get why the other posters here are advocating that he just give up and walk away?
I have been there, myself...my late father's live-in g/f forged a legally-unenforceable will, stole hundreds of thousands of dollars that would have gone to me and my sister, burned down my father's apartment destroying all the evidence that could incriminate her, and fled the state with said money and assets in her possession. Still on the lam today, for all I know...and she got away with it...
But this is his biological mother, who is still living. If his father died, it's not an automatic "son gets what dad says." No, their marital assets (including any property) are now owned by his mother. They aren't the dad's to give away. It's not the OP's call. It's not the dad's call. It's not the sister's call.
And I think it's very entitled to assume these things "belong" to him. His mom could decide to give all of it to charity if she wants. We are not owed an inheritance by our parents. My parents did a good job raising me so that I could make my own way in the world. I do not expect a thing from anyone. They can donate it to the Sierra Club, for all I care.
But, my friend h886...if I read the OP's original post correctly, it seemed as though OP's father specifically *wanted* certain things to go to OP, correct?
If so, are not OP's mother and sister denying him what he is legally entitled to, and per his father's wishes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by h886
Let me make this very simple for you:
1. None of us should assume we will get a darn thing from our parents. Period. They owe us nothing. You are an adult with the ability to make your own way in the world. IF you happen to receive something in a will, great. Look on it like an unexpected blessing. If not, you've lost NOTHING because no one owed you anything to begin with. It doesn't matter if sister Sue gets more than you, or if your mom leaves it all to a dog-spaying charity. None of it was ever "yours" to begin with. You are owed nothing.
2. If you have only seen your mother 5 times in 25 years, you are not close to her. Doesn't matter if that's your fault or hers, or if you two just make each other unhappy. Your dad died first. Anything that was THEIRS is now HERS. So it doesn't really matter what your dad said to you about who should get what. She's still here, it's her house and her stuff. You are being very greedy to bring this up at all.
3. If your mother is 82, assuming fertility stops by 50 in all but extreme cases, you are at least 32, likely considerably older. If by that point, you are still living in a mobile home and have failed to make something of yourself, you have no one to blame for that except yourself. It is not your sister's fault you have not made your way as an adult. It is not your father's fault. It is not your mother's fault. Quit trying to cash in on your father's death and use it as a freebie to get out of the adult mistakes you have made. Man up and take responsibility for your life. Same thing goes for "childhood things in the house." Anything you wanted should have gone with you in college. Your mother is not a storage service.
But this is his biological mother, who is still living. If his father died, it's not an automatic "son gets what dad says." No, their marital assets (including any property) are now owned by his mother. They aren't the dad's to give away. It's not the OP's call. It's not the dad's call. It's not the sister's call.
And I think it's very entitled to assume these things "belong" to him. His mom could decide to give all of it to charity if she wants. We are not owed an inheritance by our parents. My parents did a good job raising me so that I could make my own way in the world. I do not expect a thing from anyone. They can donate it to the Sierra Club, for all I care.
Confused...so the father's wishes and/or will are automatically overridden, by his mother's preferences? How can that be legally possible, if the father's will and/or deathbed wishes specified otherwise?
But, my friend h886...if I read the OP's original post correctly, it seemed as though OP's father specifically *wanted* certain things to go to OP, correct?
If so, are not OP's mother and sister denying him what he is legally entitled to, and per his father's wishes?
Knight, I think you're a great guy. I usually agree with you on a lot of stuff.
Even if I believe OP about his dad (which I'll assume is true), I still don't believe that means OP legally is entitled to a thing. Now, if the mom WANTS to give him this house or money or whatever, that's her call. But anything the husband and wife (mom and dad) earned together over the course of the marriage is a marital asset. It belongs to both of them. Since the mom outlived the dad and may live another 20 years, she can use those assets however she wishes. She may wish to sell one of them to pay for a nursing home for her later. She may wish to sell one of them and travel with the money. She may wish to sell all her property and donate the money to charity.
So I think the dad can state his wishes, but I'm not sure that's legally enforceable (though a lawyer will have to answer--I'm not one.) Otherwise, couldn't the dad say he wanted everything to go to the son the day he died and turn his wife out of house and home? Obviously this family is wealthier if they have multiple houses, and although morally, perhaps it would be nice if things were "fair" I'm not sure there's any legal leg to stand on. I'll be interested to see what others say though. I may be wrong.
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I don't get why the other posters here are advocating that he just give up and walk away? 
