U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-17-2011, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,396 posts, read 14,326,711 times
Reputation: 6253

Advertisements

This is a concept that I presumably should have grasped about a decade ago but I still fail to do so. No matter what I do, it seems like it's very difficult to ever turn an acquaintance into a friend. I've joined a club, talked to plenty of people, tried to maintain a positive attitude while around others, none of that seems to work.

So yeah, how do you make friends? I never got the instruction manual for it, yet everybody else has.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-17-2011, 10:59 PM
 
17,866 posts, read 18,788,238 times
Reputation: 13860
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
This is a concept that I presumably should have grasped about a decade ago but I still fail to do so. No matter what I do, it seems like it's very difficult to ever turn an acquaintance into a friend. I've joined a club, talked to plenty of people, tried to maintain a positive attitude while around others, none of that seems to work.

So yeah, how do you make friends? I never got the instruction manual for it, yet everybody else has.
I'm just myself, and my personality is what makes people like me.

That and lots of laughs. But I've honed my joking around pretty well through the years, so it comes natural anymore.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 12:09 AM
 
12,671 posts, read 21,851,643 times
Reputation: 2644
I add them on facebook.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 01:41 AM
 
8,680 posts, read 13,907,880 times
Reputation: 15289
To have a friend, you must be a friend.

Not saying you have to be a walking doormat who goes around doing stuff for people and getting taken advantage of. Just that maybe you could take a look at your circle of acquaintances and see if there is anyone there who might be struggling with something you can help them with.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 02:00 AM
 
461 posts, read 707,081 times
Reputation: 1006
You become friends with those you share common interests & lifestyles. Whatever interest you share, there is an opportunity to invite someone to join you. Another single guy? Go to a club or wherever.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 03:23 AM
 
4,500 posts, read 10,566,596 times
Reputation: 2897
How do you avoid it would be a better question for me, even people I dislike (and sometimes clearly tell them that) tend to hang around.

I suppose you get friends by being straightforward, honest, friendly and helpful. It means you might rub some people the wrong way, but no one needs to get along with everybody.

What would you define as a friend? Do you mean people you occasionally go to dinner with, or a movie, our the kind you consider family?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 07:11 AM
 
29,757 posts, read 36,321,436 times
Reputation: 39743
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
This is a concept that I presumably should have grasped about a decade ago but I still fail to do so. No matter what I do, it seems like it's very difficult to ever turn an acquaintance into a friend. I've joined a club, talked to plenty of people, tried to maintain a positive attitude while around others, none of that seems to work.

So yeah, how do you make friends? I never got the instruction manual for it, yet everybody else has.
Hurri, there is obviously something about you that people find off-putting. Kind of hard to tell here...since we don't know you. There is no "magic" to making friends...it's really a natural process for people...for most of them anyway. It does seem like you tend to analyze everything to death, and try too hard...perhaps that comes through when you talk to people.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 07:15 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,456 posts, read 12,100,754 times
Reputation: 7783
I don't even try to make friends and yet I have enough and always have.
I think the key is similar to making love to a woman, be unselfish.
Also like others have said live out your interests with others and before long they will be friends.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Portland, OR
8,802 posts, read 7,997,702 times
Reputation: 4505
Living at home in college doesn't help.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2011, 07:20 AM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,122,714 times
Reputation: 12796
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Hurri, there is obviously something about you that people find off-putting. Kind of hard to tell here...since we don't know you. There is no "magic" to making friends...it's really a natural process for people...for most of them anyway. It does seem like you tend to analyze everything to death, and try too hard...perhaps that comes through when you talk to people.
I agree with chessie here...

I make friends with people very easily...but I'm a chatty Cathy and I smile a lot (I've got the lines on my face to prove it!).

I think you need to focus on what makes you an individual. I'm not sure if you are trying to mold yourself into someone else in the company of others, hoping they will accept you?

It is hard to tell on here though but I will say that you do tend to focus on the negative...and I wonder if that comes across in real life as well?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top