Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
First off, I don't understand, how can a cashier know if they are going to run out of change? I mean, common sense tells you, the manager should be giving out change all day to the cashiers. I worked part time as a cashier, and was always running out of not only change, but ones, fives and tens? That doesn't make sense?
And what she said, was small potatoes...granted it was wrong, but I wouldn't consider it bullying...you need to grow thicker skin and be able to understand....and consider the source...what you said, was also not out of line...and something I would have said as well...she is in the wrong, but girlfriend...don't take things people say as personal as you do...let it go and say to yourself...it's been said, it's over and done with...move on, it was a small thing, really...Yes, you were joking around, but you also meant it, it was the truth...and you were in the right...and beleive me, no matter where you go, your going to have conflicts...I would, if I were you, try and take a course in human behavior and how to react to insults differently. First, by not taking things so personal...these are people with whom when you leave, you will never contact again...your not working there to make friends and influence people, your there to do a job, so who cares whose winning the popularity contest of the moment. And I'd venture to say...that they might even be a little jealous of you, due to the career your pursuing, maybe those who are treating you like this, will never be able to go to college...? But the bottom line is, there is a way to react to situations...you have to learn to shrug this stuff off and move on. I really mean this, b/c the sooner you learn this, the less life problems you will have socially...who cares what they think?
I don't view this as bullying...and also, if your upset by my response, then that speaks volumns...meaning, your reading this as if I don't agree with you, so your also taking offense to my response, just as an example....
Where ever you go in life, the sooner you learn how to deal with people socially, the easier life for you will be....believe me, I was just like you when I was in my 20's. hugs and sending love...creme
Ok, a little off topic... But that is where I talk about logic, forethought and initiative... It applies to every aspect of our life though.
But really think about it... You need $.25... you call up a manager (where getting change is NOT their only responsibility)... go ahead and look in your cash drawer. Do you only have 5 $.10 left? Maybe 15 or so $.01. ... Maybe only 6 $1 bills. Guess what? You will need change again soon. Go ahead and get it! I was a grunt for along time, through college. I worked for Barnes and Noble, actually.
Thinking things through and seeing the BIG picture is a part of life.
Now? I have employees who work for me. After the training process, if I had someone who was constantly pulling me away from what I need to get accomplished due to lack of forethought and initiative (which I depend on them to have) for the same issue over and over again.... And then dare to cry victimization over my frustration? Oooohhhhh.... they would not be with me for long.
It is called survival.
I would have some guilt over affecting someone's life due to the firing... and I am not 100% a Darwinist... But I would have very few reservations that my decision would not improve circumstances.
And this argument should apply across the board over anything and everything in our lives. Now, while I do not think everyone will always succeed with this in life (I am about 90% a Darwinist)... We are give more resources now, even today, than ever before.
Bullying? Eh! That is up for debate on what bullying actually is. We all went to H.S. and I think most of us have a story or two or three or more to share. And then there are some cases that cross the line and are shocking, yes, I acknowledge that. I have also seen people who have done a complete 180 from their adolescence to thrive... they used it as a source of strength to push them.
Being a victim is not the way to live any life. But it is easier for people to blame outside forces than to walk a mile... self evaluation is a damn hard exercise to go through if you have never started it before.
And yet the bullies are completely vindicated in their actions. Here's an idea folks, if a person doesn't like someone then it's just common sense to minimize or eliminate contact with that person. That's both parties job, not just the victim. I'm starting to wonder do the people on this site go around treating people like crap and blame it on the person yet don't ask themselves "why am I being hostile to this person in the first place?"
The real bullies? Well the real bullies are only vindicated by the victimization and fear.
The victims weak actions give them strength.
Continue to be a victim... and the cycle continues.
If a person continues to see other's actions, opinions, and some aggressive opinions, as total hostility and label all as bullies when the fancy strikes? Wow.... I would have to say that look where your (I uses 'your' generically) life is now... because it is never going to change. Only you can change that.
We are the biggest influence over how others perceive us.
Well, I just don't know!
Young folks today get bullied at school, over the internet and possibly at work. I still have to stick with my feelings of what bullies go after: people, for what they say, their looks and how they act (personality/being weak). Many people will simply say, "why can't these kids (bullies) just leave them alone"? Why don't we talk to both the "bullies" and their parents and see what goes on in the home! Find out what MAKES a "bully" a "bully"! This behavior has to originate from somewhat!! Another thing I know is that a lot of people don't like people that are "different". Such as, boys who act too feminine or girls that act to manly. Again, when young people act, talk, look out of the norm (differently).......somebody will react whether that "reaction" is right or wrong or mentally or physically hurts someone.
OP, the reason you get bullied is because your co-workers don't view you as an equal, but rather someone lesser than them. In other words, they don't respect you at all. This could be because of the way you dress, the way you act, the way you look in generally (such as being overweight, having acne, etc), or all of the above. However, I suspect the primary reason you get picked on is because you don't come across as confident (you're probably a bit shy from all the bullying over the years) and people will usually pick up on that. Once they pick up on that, they'll run all over you and make fun of you whenever possible (usually to make themselves feel superior).
That said, if you want the bullying to end, you'll have to improve your overall attitude and confidence. Once people realize that you're truly confident about yourself and couldn't care less about what they think or have to say, you'll notice a major decrease in the bullying.
Bullying is *never* justifiable. *No one* ever deserves or merits bullying. Period. Realistic? Don't care; it's simply wrong and evil. Just b/c it happens in real life, doesn't make it right.
Dan Olweus, creator of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, provides us with this commonly accepted definition for bullying in his book, Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do:
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
This definition includes three important components:
This is from the website of Bullying Prevention Program. The bolded above is very much like the situation with OP. Feeling isolated, being a victim of little "prickly" comments that make OP feel inferior is a form of bullying.
I have a young child and bullying problem is very important to me right now, so I'm very well aware of what it means.
Thx for providing the helpful and intriuging info above max's mama!
Bullying is *never* justifiable. *No one* ever deserves or merits bullying. Period. Realistic? Don't care; it's simply wrong and evil. Just b/c it happens in real life, doesn't make it right.
I agree with you. However, in the OP's post, I don't get the impression that he's been bullied. It sounds like typical workplace banter to me, and he's choosing to perceive it as bullying. And I think that's why he's getting some of the advice to "toughen up" and stop being so sensitive, because he may be in victim mode always if every perceived slight is labelled as bullying, IMO.
You're not being realistic. Do you think the star of the high school football team gets bullied? How about the homecoming queen or the good looking rich kid that gets all the girls? Of course not! It's because they are deemed to have a high social value and people who have a high social value are looked up to, not down to. Also, all of the people I just named have one thing in common: they all exude confidence. People who get bullied are looked down at because they are viewed as lesser than and vulnerable; usually because they come across and shy, insecure, and unconfident.
Once the OP gets some confidence, becomes sure of himself, and lets other know that he's sure of himself, the bullying will decrease. People pick on others when they think they can get away with it.
(Bolded parts above) In other words: the cited "popular people" are in the societally-deemed "high(er) castes", to use a less-flattering but equally-valid term for "high social value".
Simply rubbish...what ever happened to "All men [people] are created equal"?
I wish ppl would realize that there is actually quite a bit they can do to, to make life "fairer" for all, and stop accepting artificial constructs like cliques, castes, and "popular/unpopular", as inevitable and unchangeable.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 11-01-2011 at 10:50 AM..
Reason: Corrections
tell them you will kick their but and when you loose at least you will have your dignity,and if you last long enough and act crazy enough they will have your respect. trust me this is the only way bullies under stand. It's their language, they live like animals.
have you heard about Bully Beatdown, It's a great show. they bring in the victim and the bully. Then they pit the bully against a mma fighter. If the bully wins then he gets the money, if he looses the victim gets it. The best part of it is when the bully get the c33p beat out of him, great stuff.
The real bullies? Well the real bullies are only vindicated by the victimization and fear.
The victims weak actions give them strength.
Continue to be a victim... and the cycle continues.
If a person continues to see other's actions, opinions, and some aggressive opinions, as total hostility and label all as bullies when the fancy strikes? Wow.... I would have to say that look where your (I uses 'your' generically) life is now... because it is never going to change. Only you can change that.
We are the biggest influence over how others perceive us.
There is no vindication. None, unless the "bully" themselves is being harasses by the "victim". You see people have no excuse to be victims, well people have no excuse to be bullies. Just because someone looks weak and pathetic is still no excuse for you to go over and harass them. All of this is just unprovoked hostility at the in of the day and it should be discouraged.
Is this what you are going to teach your kids? That it's okay to go and pick on that scrawny weak-looking kid over there? seriously? If you think that then you shouldn't have children. To keep society running well, we need to condemn troublemakers. They're the ones creating the conflict they should be punished. Whether the victim decides to whoop their you know what or authority figures intervene. Either way the bully has to learn that treating people like crap doesn't get you far in life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
