U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-19-2012, 04:21 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
4,093 posts, read 2,759,710 times
Reputation: 16234

Advertisements

Not sure if this falls into the non-romantic relationship category but I just wondered what other people would have done in my situation:

I became friends with this young lady from Nigeria and assisted her in getting a job as a law clerk at my firm. She had two young girls and a layabout for a fiance. She never seemed to have enough money for groceries, or bus fare, lunches or whatever. Apparently, she wasn't making a good personal impression around the office and people started whispering about her.

I felt sorry for her mainly because she hadn't been in this country all that long and had no family here. The gist of it is: she asked me if I could give her a small loan so that she could buy winter jackets for her two girls and said that she would pay me back in two weeks when she got paid. I knew it was her first time living in a cold climate (I still lived in Chicago at the time) and she didn't have the a proper wardrobe. I loaned her $225.00 for the little girls' sake so that they wouldn't be cold.

After the payday came and went, I began to notice that she was avoiding me. After a couple of weeks of this, I finally tracked her down and point blank asked her when she could pay me back. She sort of smirked and said, "Oh, you''ll never get that money back, sorry," and hurried away. Since then, I've tried initiating conversations with her but she steers well clear of me. I'm livid and a little hurt that someone I thought was nice and hardworking could behave so ungratefully. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never see that money again and I never even told my husband what happened. My question is: how would you have handled this situation?

Last edited by Praline; 06-19-2012 at 04:38 PM..
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-19-2012, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
39 posts, read 66,665 times
Reputation: 56
Consider the $225 the price to pay for finding out who was a false friend and a user.The nice thing is, she will make herself scarce whenever you could be around, so you wont even have to look at her. And people dont like her at the office, probably because she is not pulling her weight, so she may be gone soon. Even Better! She's a total creep. You did a good deed, and your heart was in the right place,so you reep all the good karma there. It happens to the best of us!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 04:31 PM
 
Location: South Jersey
819 posts, read 2,974,497 times
Reputation: 1444
Since when do 2 winter jackets cost $225?

wait - anybody else find it odd that you got scammed by sombody from Nigera?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
4,093 posts, read 2,759,710 times
Reputation: 16234
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdotAllen View Post
Since when do 2 winter jackets cost $225?

wait - anybody else find it odd that you got scammed by sombody from Nigera?
I actually don't know what the price is any more for little girls aged 4 and 6. I didn't really know if I was loaning her a lot or a little - my purpose was to assist her in purchasing the jackets. It is rather ironic that she is from Nigeria (home of the scammer in many cases), but that isn't why she behaved like a lowlife. It wouldn't have mattered what country she was from, I'm still pissed and out of $225, and truthfully, I'm burned enough to never loan anyone money ever again.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,867 posts, read 59,358,200 times
Reputation: 19233
If you do feel sorry for children, better to meet them at the store and pay for the coats yourself. Take the tags off so they can't be returned and then let the kids have them. That will stop most scammers, not all as they can resell the coats in the 'hood.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 05:02 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
4,093 posts, read 2,759,710 times
Reputation: 16234
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
If you do feel sorry for children, better to meet them at the store and pay for the coats yourself. Take the tags off so they can't be returned and then let the kids have them. That will stop most scammers, not all as they can resell the coats in the 'hood.
I felt like warning everyone in the office about her, but I figured I would make myself look foolish and whiny.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 06:29 PM
 
Location: San Fran Bay Area
228 posts, read 379,515 times
Reputation: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praline View Post
I felt like warning everyone in the office about her, but I figured I would make myself look foolish and whiny.
I would have let everyone in the office know, especially with how she just bluntly told you she was never going to pay you back. There's no telling how many other people in your office paid for the same "jackets" or some other "family need" for the woman.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 07:53 PM
 
650 posts, read 917,556 times
Reputation: 1024
I was in a similar situation years ago although the amount involved was only $20.00. Tell her you will go to HR and report that she is defrauding coworkers on company premises. There is probably something in the employee rule book that covers this such as a "no soliciting " rule. Many people have difficulty saying no to a sob story and you should not have to be subjected to scams in the workplace.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 09:05 PM
 
13,309 posts, read 16,611,854 times
Reputation: 15816
I would have gone down to the second hand store and got her two very nice warm coats for her kids...10$ for both of them...consider it a rather expensive lesson Praline...but perhaps worth it...as it'll be a reminder when someone else trys conning you...sorry...you know the old saying...no good deed goes undone.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-19-2012, 09:12 PM
 
Location: California
4,402 posts, read 12,302,338 times
Reputation: 3136
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
If you do feel sorry for children, better to meet them at the store and pay for the coats yourself. Take the tags off so they can't be returned and then let the kids have them. That will stop most scammers, not all as they can resell the coats in the 'hood.
I have issues with my fiance's ex when it comes to returning gifts we send to his daughter for the money. We have started removing the tags and the problem is solved. Although I do keep threatening to buy her something Prada, remove the tag and send the receipt with the non returnable item. But that really is petty, regardless of how fun it would be.

I think you learn who or what you are dealing with and act accordingly. You did a good thing and you bought coats for 2 little girls. If it was a gift and not a loan, well hopefully it was money you could afforc to lose and you know now to make sure if you loan something, it is best to just assume you will necer get it back.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:51 AM.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top