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Have you ever had people in your extended family, neighbors, or coworkers who you have a personality conflict with to see things your way and now you are friendly with them? I always hear the term, "lets talk it out" or "we can work it out if we discuss it like adults." Sometimes severe personality conflicts can work themselves out with spouses because behind the conflict they may still love each other and NEED to make it work.
But with coworkers, extended family, friends, or neighbors, I have rarely seen any real success with talking out your differences? Have you, and how did it work out?
Not really most people are childish and it takes a mature person to want to meet someone half way to work out issues. In my personal life, the only time I encountered such an incidence was in high school. A girl started bullying me for no reason. One day I snapped and verbally let her have it. Im not a fighter so I pretty much figured I would endure death the following day. Oddly though, my standing up to her made her like me. She walked up to me the next day, told me I was pretty feisty for someone so small. She told me if anyone ever gave me trouble to let her know and that was that.
well not exactly, but actions do speak louder than words.
awhile back in school after i had transfered somewhere i had a teacher that i had a hard time getting along with and talked with my science teacher. he told me he didnt like how i thought i was the new kid and so i was the hot shot that knew it all. i called his bluff and promptly failed the mid-term.
so i talked to him again, and told him i crashed and burned and that i accepted it and needed real help. i aced the final exam and went on to a big ten college that accepted me becuase i placed so high on the act score i was waived for the SAT. being humbled wasnt a bad thing, cuz i learned how to make my weakness strong. so in short i finally was able to convince my chemistry teacher whom i was certain that disliked me to finaly like me... worked out pretty good. i figured out humility is one of the best teachers.
Have you ever had people in your extended family, neighbors, or coworkers who you have a personality conflict with to see things your way and now you are friendly with them? I always hear the term, "lets talk it out" or "we can work it out if we discuss it like adults." Sometimes severe personality conflicts can work themselves out with spouses because behind the conflict they may still love each other and NEED to make it work.
But with coworkers, extended family, friends, or neighbors, I have rarely seen any real success with talking out your differences? Have you, and how did it work out?
IME when people dont lkke me it is because their dislike is fueled by someone (including themself) talking about the person they dont like behind their back. The target of dislike never really has a chance, mainly because the target is used to boost the image of whoever is talking trash.
I have had friends that were great friends. Then something happened with me personnaly and these "great friends" had a hayday talking about my "mistake". I am still friends with these people, but I am no longer view them in the same light. I have learned that people may not like you, and there isnt much you can do about it. Even if they do like you, they may talk about you hehind your back anyway. People gossip, and if they don't like you, it will be even worse.
And sometimes, no matter how well you treat someone, their dislike for you may never go away. If I know someone doenst like me, I just be civil and avoid personnal conversation/information with them at all costs.
Sometimes you have to be political, but that doesnt mean I am goin to try to "win them over."
I don't see much success either Small Town Resident, sometimes even when the differences are talked out. Guess some people are just real set in their ways, stubborn, with people like that, I think when their is finally peace and harmony, it's probabley only because someone loves them soooo much they're willing to put up with it.
My boss hated me. She was a raving bi-otch and a bully... I told her flat out if you don't want me fire me. If she wants to behave like a human being I will treat her the same.
She likes me now. Do I truly like her? Not really, but I am nice because now she is.
No I don't try to become besties with them, but I will be civil if I have to work with someone I have a personality conflict with. I certainly don't spend time harping on why they don't like me; no loss to me
Have you ever had people in your extended family, neighbors, or coworkers who you have a personality conflict with to see things your way and now you are friendly with them? I always hear the term, "lets talk it out" or "we can work it out if we discuss it like adults." Sometimes severe personality conflicts can work themselves out with spouses because behind the conflict they may still love each other and NEED to make it work.
But with coworkers, extended family, friends, or neighbors, I have rarely seen any real success with talking out your differences? Have you, and how did it work out?
I just make it a point to be friendly, positive and say nothing bad about them. It usually works. And, if nothing else, it makes you know you tried your very best.
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not neccessarily
