How much does your extended family know about your job/career? (wife, husband)

[regular folk]

I have spent quite a bit of time with extended family of wives, girl friends as well as different branches of my own family. One thing that has always shocked me is the lack of interest, knowledge or conversation about family members jobs and careers. I have tried bringing up the topic of work, jobs, careers, career planning, professional development and job hunting at many family gatherings but the topic is usually quickly dropped. Replaced with discussion about things like football, how terrible our political leaders are, celebrity gossip and popular culture.

I was thinking of a number of relatives on my wife's side of the family as well as my relatives too and for many of them I don't know where they work, what they do or nothing about their career hopes and dreams. To me someones' careers is an interesting topic, but others seem to disagree. Because much of the conversation is group based it seems odd to just approach someone and ask them outright, so I remain frustrated and ignorant.

Do you know much (or care much) about the careers or jobs of people in your extended family? How about your immediate family? Do you know much about the work your brothers and sisters do? Where they work, how their career is going and why they chose the work they do?

[SCGranny]

LOL Very few members of my family ever understood the work I did. They would either gossip about why I wasn't home much or make up stories as to what I did. What did bother them was that they thought I had lots of money and wouldn't share it. To this day, none of my in-laws, nor my brothers, have any idea what I did for a living. Our niece came to visit last year and was amazed at all of the pictures of me with high government officials, even a current Presidential candidate, and of DH with famous movie stars. "Wow, you really were somebodies!" ROFLMAO

What I did for a living, though very public and much written about, even interviews broadcast on the TV and radio talk shows, was a total mystery to them - because it didn't affect them personally.

Seriously, what difference does it make? Most people don't know what anyone else does or is, even their closest relatives.

[D. Scott]

My family is small and knows all about my job as a NYC Hotel concierge. I have interesting stories I tell them, Good ones.

Why would they not know what i do? I do not work for the CIA LOL.

[SXMGirl]

I basically know what the family does. However, I still laugh at what my grandmother thought that I did. I have worked in education for a long time, from classroom teaching to setting up programs. My grandmother, until the day that she died, thought that I worked in the school cafeteria. I am not really sure what she thought that I did there.

[Angelcake4]

I love knowing what people do and why they do it, no matter what the job.

BUT, in going to family events, certain family members have complained that they HATE when they're asked what they do for a living. These couple of people have had long-term employment issues, so I try to talk about other things in front of them.

[OngletNYC]

I have an excellent career and have always been successful, but I do NOT want to talk about work at the family barbecue. Not my work nor anyone else's, beyond a sentence or two. Work sucks up 8+ hours a day as it is, why should my leisure time be wasted by continuing to focus on work? No thanks.

[silverbelles]

Everyone knows everyone's business in my family because all the elders are sisters and therefore brag about their kids and grandkids to one-up one another ("Oh, you know my grandson is getting his masters..." "Oh, really, well my granddaughter is getting her masters from *insert highly ranked school here*!" "My granddaughter just got her Ph.D in *insert field that is very hard to get into* and is a professor now, can you believe it??")

It's a mess. I just shake my head and be thankful that my mom doesn't care to brag outside of the usual happy mommy talk. But, yeah, everyone knows where everyone works or what field they work in and if we don't, then that family member gets judged.

[fallingwater]

Most of my family work in the medical field. Nurses, medical billing and so forth (no doctors although they think they are). Conversations generally revolve around what they do. They dont have a interest in what I do unless I can get something for them or fix something for them, as I work in the technology field. The only thing they do pry about is my wages. That pisses me off. I usually say something along the lines of "I do okay."

My in-laws are easily impressed by certain careers, ones that are obvious someone went to college for such as teaching, nursing or something else. I learned years ago not to discuss my work with them. I lost my career in 2001 which they knew nothing about what I did nor cared until I lost my job. I had to work retail for a while and then they became SUPER interested in what I did so they could knock it. Snide comments and how that particular retailer was the devil and so forth. Apparently there is only one evil corporation in this world and I worked for it.

Funny thing is I worked in management and made the same amount as them or even a little more but they assumed I made minimum wage. Then when I went to school full-time and they knocked where I went to school, what I was studying and so forth. Now I am working again and they have zero interest again. I am very vague on what I do. My one SIL did quiz me on my income and I again avoided it. No one is really interested in what my husband does either. He works in skilled trades so they figure he is some sort of unskilled monkey. We moved for his job and live some place where the cost of living is far cheaper than where we are from. When the relatives came for a visit and saw our house, then they wanted to know if we were loaded. So pretty much the only questions we dodge are about how much money we make. Kind of blows my mind because I have never asked someone how much money they make. I think its rude. Funny how lots of people volunteer this info and expect you to as well.

[berkeleylake]

Originally Posted by regular folk

I have spent quite a bit of time with extended family of wives, girl friends as well as different branches of my own family. One thing that has always shocked me is the lack of interest, knowledge or conversation about family members jobs and careers. I have tried bringing up the topic of work, jobs, careers, career planning, professional development and job hunting at many family gatherings but the topic is usually quickly dropped. Replaced with discussion about things like football, how terrible our political leaders are, celebrity gossip and popular culture.
(cut)
Do you know much (or care much) about the careers or jobs of people in your extended family? How about your immediate family? Do you know much about the work your brothers and sisters do? Where they work, how their career is going and why they chose the work they do?

I know about immediate family and what they do for a living as none of them do any kind of apparent "secret" work. I also know what most of my extended family members do for a living as I am curious myself and have asked them about it over the years, usually in small group gatherings or one on one.

Generally speaking, I like knowing what people do for a living myself, even outside of family. Sometimes I learn about very unusual careers and it does pique my own curiosity about people sometimes, family or not. I bring up work as a topic with them at family reunions and so on as talking about sports, gossip or politics is completely boring to me. That being said, some of the extended family members are not interested in what I do for a living, so if they do not ask, I do not talk about it unless I am asked.

I try to be cordial and make conversation with extended family members, but conversing is a two-way street. If they do not have any apparent interest in that topic, I say very little and make surfaced small talk.

[jasper12]

Nothing. They think anyone not making over $200k is a loser. I am a "loser".