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Old 09-10-2012, 06:55 PM
 
850 posts, read 1,381,510 times
Reputation: 1218

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Everyone, thanks so much for your thoughts on this issue.

Atlantis, you hit the nail on the head. This person is a narcissist. I gave the friendship a chance, maybe more chances than I should have, I kept the hope alive that she would prove me wrong and be a good friend. But she didn't change, she couldn't change because that's not who she is. At least I put myself out there. Wherever she is and whatever she is doing, I have to think she is still the same old gal and is still selfish with a delusions of grandour. Her personality is probably why she never had a relationship that lasted longer than 1 1/2 yrs. As for girlfriends, they never last longer than 2 yrs.

I feel like a fool in a way because I thought I could help, but feel like I just got walked over. Dealing with myself treating myself so bad, with such little regard, how can I move past that?

Thanks for your replies. Life has gone on and it's much better without her negative influence. I deserve better from people. I really do.
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Old 09-10-2012, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Western NY
559 posts, read 1,248,136 times
Reputation: 556
This is another link that's helpful to me:
Try Someone Else - How to stay out of the Scapegoat Role, the Doormat Role, the Sucker Role and the Unappreciated Role... LIGHT'S HOUSE
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Old 09-11-2012, 06:09 AM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,766 posts, read 2,439,880 times
Reputation: 2353
Other people's character defects are just your personal preferences asserting themselves.

It's your conscious or sub-conscious saying "This person is not right for you."
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Old 09-17-2012, 12:06 AM
 
Location: PRC
4,094 posts, read 3,740,407 times
Reputation: 3686
I think Millenia98 is right - too many of us get dragged down by some of our "friends" and this is what makes us exhausted, drained, depressed and generally feeling terrible.

It really affects our life in more ways than we realise and we behave like sh1ts to the people we love just because others are giving us a bad day. It is too easy to pass on these bad vibes to others without really meaning to.

So, it is only fair to ourselves that we surround ourselves with positive, happy and loving people who can support us and make us feel better. We are far more likely to be able to give those qualities to others if we are receiving them ourselves on a regular basis.

Some people say "How can we have love to give others if we do not have love ourselves first" and this involves treating ourselves nicely, kindly, and in a respectful way so that we feel safe, secure and understand our own needs. THEN we can assess what others need and help them to find that in their relationships with us and others.
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Old 09-20-2012, 11:30 PM
 
5 posts, read 2,784 times
Reputation: 12
How to get out of the friend zone with a girl and become her lover? This is the most common situation that happens to 95% of single men, including myself 2 years ago. So you have a female friend and both of you are having something great going on.
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Old 09-20-2012, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,825 posts, read 6,618,995 times
Reputation: 4908
that's very wise skankapotamus
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