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Old 09-12-2012, 04:28 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 22,763,060 times
Reputation: 20082

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldyViolet View Post
I hate that judgement and condescending attitude some people hand out when they hear something they can't grasp or understand. I think it's perfectly acceptable and normal to make the decision not to have kids. I hate that some people have to be so rude about it. I can't believe Moosketeer was called "evil" at one point. That just blows my mind.
On the plus side though I find quite a few men find my lack of interest in children quite a bonus ! Once I tell them I loathe shopping, was never interested in getting married,have no interest in Babies, hate talking on the phone, and love vintage cars my levels of Sexiness seem to increase tenfold ! If only I had an interest in spectator sports I would be "Empress of the Universe" !

One of Hubby's friend and colleague looked at me once as if I was the perfect woman on the planet ! He seemed in awe of me especially as his wife loved all of the above. It's a good way to a man's heart quite often !

Seriously though, I think people need to get a life and accept that being a parent is something someone should take very seriously and think long and hard about. That knowing yourself enough to know you are not parent material is a good thing not a defect. I have no patience, get bored really easily, hate mess, am a control freak and I know if I had children it would be a disaster.
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Old 09-12-2012, 05:00 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,825 posts, read 6,644,353 times
Reputation: 4911
Lots of women would never dare say they don't want kids because most identify being a woman with having babies and being a wife and mother...And I am so glad many are speaking out now, rather than unhappily playing a role and ruining their own life and that of others around them..
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,275 posts, read 5,851,778 times
Reputation: 3606
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
On the plus side though I find quite a few men find my lack of interest in children quite a bonus ! Once I tell them I loathe shopping, was never interested in getting married,have no interest in Babies, hate talking on the phone, and love vintage cars my levels of Sexiness seem to increase tenfold ! If only I had an interest in spectator sports I would be "Empress of the Universe" !
Are we sisters? I HATE shopping, never wanted to get married (and didn't until I was 39), was born without a biological clock, and get irrationally irritated when the phone rings. I have zero interest in shoes. Vintage cars are cool, but I've never taken an active interest in them. However, I was a HUGE hockey fan, and still love the game. I've always called myself the anti-girl.

I also married the anti-guy. He has absolutely no interest in sports, cars, or hunting. Not a macho bone in his body.

We're perfect for each other.
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:09 AM
 
5,701 posts, read 17,275,753 times
Reputation: 8612
Trying being the parent of only one child.

"what? only one? do you want your child to be lonely?"

"only one? do you have something wrong with you?"

"oh wow, I bet your child is really spoiled and doesn't know how to share"

oh and my ALL time favorite.....drum roll...

"what would do you do if your child died?"


I am always surprised at what others think is acceptable to say to others.
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 22,763,060 times
Reputation: 20082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire_F View Post
Are we sisters? I HATE shopping, never wanted to get married (and didn't until I was 39), was born without a biological clock, and get irrationally irritated when the phone rings. I have zero interest in shoes. Vintage cars are cool, but I've never taken an active interest in them. However, I was a HUGE hockey fan, and still love the game. I've always called myself the anti-girl.

I also married the anti-guy. He has absolutely no interest in sports, cars, or hunting. Not a macho bone in his body.

We're perfect for each other.

Sister it is ! Maybe my Daddy and your Mommy.... Stranger things have happened.

We even have the same taste in Men obviously ! I used to play Ice Hockey and still like watching it ( live though, I do loathe tv sports). Hubby does not have a macho bone in his body either and I love him for it. I used to hunt, fish, trek, etc.. I think Hubby likes that I look and smell like a girl but am not too "girlie girl" either.

I am not quite the anti girl as I am outwardly very feminine ( I hate trousers and only wear skirts for example, and do wear make up ( the natural look though not the "painted on with a trowel" style and perfume) but have no interest in clothes, shopping, gossip. chick lit, chick movies etc... and I am allergic to giggling and what passes for conversation with a lot of women....

I have never once in my life had a "girlie night out" and still cannot fathom why women go to the bathroom together in restaurants. Women still are a mystery to me for the best part. I much prefer the company of men ( some of them anyway).

I always thought boys had the best toys as a kid ( and still do ) and being half brought up by a Dad who wanted a son and a Grand-Ma who was very feminine I think I have ended up with a reasonable balance of both traits. Who would choose a Barbie Doll over a Meccano Set ???? Who prefers Pink to Blue ? Not I .

You don't have Red Hair, Hazel Eyes and you are not fairly tall by any chance ?!?!?!
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Old 09-12-2012, 08:17 AM
 
15,803 posts, read 10,031,237 times
Reputation: 68466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire_F View Post
I HATE shopping, never wanted to get married (and didn't until I was 39), was born without a biological clock, and get irrationally irritated when the phone rings.

I also married the anti-guy. He has absolutely no interest in sports, cars, or hunting.We're perfect for each other.
Uh oh, we've spotted a trend - add me to the list. I'm sort of afraid to find out how many other things we have in common My husband does have an interest in cars and was a soldier (sort of a pacifist soldier - a-typical lol) but I'm thrilled that he isn't a sports or weapons fiend. Even if he did, though, we'd both have time to explore our own interests independent of each other anyway - it's the no kids thing that's the biggie.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
You don't have Red Hair, Hazel Eyes and you are not fairly tall by any chance ?!?!?!
Not red but brown with lots of auburn highlights (natural)...green/blue eyes...short

Has the OP been back?
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Old 09-12-2012, 08:24 AM
 
15 posts, read 15,353 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
Some people are just slaves to the script. It's very common. I've had the same reaction many times.

"slaves to the script"...i love that! You're soooo right. People don't question it (much more than can I afford it NOW.) or get...that it's a life OPTION, not a REQUIREMENT. I took a big no thanks on that lifetime job a lonnnng time ago & never looked back.
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Talmadge, San Diego, CA
14,346 posts, read 27,733,348 times
Reputation: 8782
When people ask about my kids, I just show them a picture of my cat that I have on my phone, and tell them that this is my kid. That usually shuts them up.
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Old 09-12-2012, 11:12 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 4,714,179 times
Reputation: 1785
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHitman View Post
I was talking to a guy that I have known for over 10 years( not as friends more so as casual acquantances)now and he showed me pictures of his 9 and 3 year old children. He said, Tony, I have 9 children. I said WOW!!! He said, man I wanted 10.

Funny thing is, I have never once seen him with any of his children over the last 10 years in which I have known him.

He said, Tony, how many do you have? I said, none. If you could have seen the look on his face. Deer in lights comes to mind. He had to regain himself. It was like he was in shock.

He said, WHAT? You mean to tell me you don't have any? I said, yes. I never wanted any. He couldn't believe it. He said, Tony, how old are you? I said 39.

He was floored. He could not believe it.

What gives. He's not the only person that has responded to me like that. I don't get it.


Tony,
TheHitman
The fact is, most adults want to have children. Most. So don't be surprised when people are surprised that you don't.

That said, who cares? If you don't want to have any kids, don't.
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:29 AM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,873 posts, read 14,466,882 times
Reputation: 29101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
That's because MOST people stick to a script. I'm a people watcher and everyone is living like everyone else. Here in Columbus,Ohio, all the yuppies drive the same damn car--- Subaru Outback. That's the "I've arrived" car. The yuppies are all bland and corny. Their idea of being cultured is eating sushi at a trendy "urban" eatery. Mind you, it's in an area they would not have been caught dead in 10 years ago because it used to be the "bad" part of town. People can't think for themselves. I'm 38 and without children, people just think it's so odd.

What burns me up is when people think I don't have any REAL responsibilities because I don't have children. That tells me many of these child lovers don't have a life outside of their childrens lives.
This is something that especially annoys me. I can't tell you how many times I got extra work on the job because I'm the one who didn't have kids, so it's was just assumed that I could pick up the slack from others. It was also expected that I had no problem going on the business trips to East Nowheresville because "no one at home needs you." (No, but I had a second job they didn't know about and a boyfriend I wanted to spend time with but ... too bad.) I had a co-worker once who went on maternity leave and I had to do her entire job, in addition to my own, for three months. When she had her second child, I complained to human resources that other people needed to pitch in and was told that I needed to "be a team player" and "no one else knows how to do her job except you." So I transferred to a different department.

And, BTW, Ron, in my neighborhood you are NOBODY unless you have a 60" flatscreen and you talk to Siri at least once during every restaurant dinner.
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