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I guess my family is different.
Kids were to be seen and not heard. If you stood around while the adults were taking you were accused of getting"into grown folks business". You also got slapped.
When adults were talking,you DID not go into the room where the adults were.
Even when adult relatives were over,you better not go into the kitchen.
When some relatives walked in they didn't even say hello to us kids.
I'm like that now that I've grown up.
I hate when adults are talking and someone's kid talks too,esp if it is an adult conversation.
At our family get-togethers every preteen and teenager greets every adult. Even most of the younger kids at least say "hello" to everyone. Adults are always thanked for gifts plus the kids don't even expect gifts and seem surprised (but still pleased) if they get extra gifts from extended relatives.
There are always a lot of very interesting conversations going on between people of all ages.
I believe that it is tied to how you raise your children and how you expect them to act. I always remember something that our son's day care teacher told me. One day her husband came to help her in the classroom (move some heavy boxes, do some minor repairs, etc). Most of the preschoolers noticed him but just ignored him. She was amazed when our son, who was about 2 1/2 years old, immediately went up to her husband, extended his hand to shake hands and said "Me James Smith. Me friendly guy." And that has been the way he continued to act his entire life.
For me,I would be worried about children walking up to a stranger and introducing themselves.
I think the kids ignoring him was actually more appropiate.
Remember we were taught to "not talk to strangers?"
Yes and no. I find it depends on the parenting. My husband has 4 sisters and the older 3 were big on their children showing respect and developing social skills. The kids always conversed with adults. They would greet you when you arrived and so forth. The youngest sister who is my age has 2 children and their social skills are pretty awful. If you say hello to them, they stare at you like you're an alien. Honestly, its a bit unnerving and I find myself not even trying with them. When they do get more comfortable around you, they are pretty disrespectful so I find its best not to even engage. My son is an only child so he spent a lot of time around adults and he feels comfortable conversing with adults. I have received many compliments over the years how polite and mature he can be. I have tried to establish a balance though as I think kids should be friendly and respectful of adults but also know when conversations do not apply to them. It can be annoying when a child chimes in during an adult conversation that doesnt involve them. My brother has two children and his youngest is pretty engaging, however the oldest child is not. She wont give you the time of day.
Jerseygal4u - part of parenting is teaching kids to interact appropriately with others, especially adults and authority figures. This starts at home with extended family. I too, do not appreciate it when I am having a conversation with an adult and a child comes flying up, inserting themselves into the conversation, usually with an annoying "can I?" question. This is not tolerated in our house either. However, this is not what the OP was asking about.
Seen and not heard seems to me like an excuse not to be bothered with a very important part of parenting. Instead of instruction, you got slapped? Nice.
We have gatherings that actively include the kids and others that do not. Our kids know and respect the difference.
I've noticed that. And, to me, it's not a question of whether the kid has the knack or not. Instead, it's a case whether the kid has had good parenting or not.
The chief role of a parent is to be a teacher. And one of those things a parent teaches is how to interact with others. Stand when an adult enters the room. Shake hands. Look people in the eye when talking. Answer question with sentences, not simply "Uh huh" and "Uhn uh." These are lessons that will stay with the child the entirety of his or her life. And if you're a parent and your child is engrossed in an iPhone at a social gathering, then you need to do something about it pronto.
I know the teenagers in my family are stuck up as heck. They walk around like their ish don't stink because they are spoiled. And the girls have this really nasty look on their face like they think they are hot sh11t. And no, they don't talk to anyone over 18 years old.
I do have some very friendly children in my family who are very talkative and joyful. my nephew will talk to adults at family gatherings because he is a motor mouth. My nephew is 7 years old and he calls me all the time. But I think most under 18 can't really relate to the adults because they are so immature and immersed in their own little world. I think its worse when they are spoiled and made to believe they are all of that because of looks or some talent they may have
I know when I was under 18 I didn't talk to the adults except for saying "hi" and a hug. Other than that, I was pretty intimidated by them so I avoided them at all costs.
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They would greet you when you arrived and so forth. The youngest sister who is my age has 2 children and their social skills are pretty awful. If you say hello to them, they stare at you like you're an alien.
I know it is hard when you are a kid to talk to adults and understand adult speak but you can at least try. If I were a parent I would insist that they at least try.
I guess I'm the odd one lol.
Maybe I'm thinking of something else. But in my family,the kids were expected to go either outside or another room. I don't remember any adults having conversations with us at all. They barely said Hello.
For me,I would be worried about children walking up to a stranger and introducing themselves.
I think the kids ignoring him was actually more appropiate.
Remember we were taught to "not talk to strangers?"
Just to clarify: the day care teacher had introduced her husband to the class and explained why he was there during opening group. It wasn't as if my son introduced himself to a strange man on the street or in a park (he may have been a "friendly guy" but he wasn't stupid).
Also, accepted practices are different in a classroom or a school. There are so many adults in a classroom or school that a child may not "know" as well as their teacher but are not "strangers", substitute teachers, teacher aides, parent volunteers, school personnel such as social workers, psychologists and speech therapists, office staff, cooks, etc. This is another reason why parents should help their children learn to appropriately talk with adults and children of other ages. A great place to practice this is at extended family get-togethers.
I'm thinking of my former elementary school (about 420 students) and on any one day there were about 30 teachers, 10 teacher's aides, 6 clerical aides & secretaries, 6 therapists/specialists, 3 cooks, a janitor, a principal plus a few substitute teachers. We also had a very active group of volunteer classroom helpers, so some days there may be 5 to 10 additional adults in the building. Wow! What a large group of safe adults.
Of course, all of the staff have extensive background checks, fingerprinting, etc, etc to be allowed to work in the school system. Also, EVERY parent volunteer and EVERY parent that goes on a fieldtrip must have a completed background check done by our local police department before they can offer to volunteer (even one time) in a school. Even if they do not have contact with students (for example, shelving books, or cutting out things for teachers) they must have a yearly background check. Different schools have different policies but we all take the safety of our students very seriously.
I'm sorry that I got off the topic but sometimes parents "drill stranger danger" so aggressively to children that it can be a problem at school. As a substitute teacher I have had a couple of young children go into huge panics because I was a "stranger" and not their regular teacher, and I'm the sweet, little grandma type. Some male substitute teachers have had even more problems.
Sorry for the rant. Excessive stranger danger is one of my pet peeves.
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