Does hanging out with friends outside of school/work change anything? (person, socializing)

[mtlquebec102]

When you make a new friend(s) at school or work and then after a while you start hanging out with them outside school hours like after school or on weekends, does it change anything about your relationship with them? Like, do you become closer or something?

I just browsed through the "walls" on some of the people I have added Facebook and looking through them, I found out that the guys at school who I hang out with there have been seeing each other outside school hours from nearly the beginning of the school year last year. I was sort of surprised because they don't act like they hang out outside of school. I never heard them talking about it. I know they're close at school and are always with each other during breaks and stuff, but I thought you were supposed to be a little different around each other when you hang outside work/school hours...

Does anyone get what I'm talking about or do you find I don't make much sense? I'd like some opinion from those who have gone down further socially and have overcome or close to overcoming social anxiety. Others can help as well.

[MIKEETC]

I think it depends on your personal behavior. If you figure that most people well act in a 'programmed' way in 'controlled' social environments where there is an expectation of a professional or conforming behavior and there are a lot of people 'watching', I'd say that when socializing with those same individuals outside of those environments it may lead to a discovery of the real person and, yes, change things.

[sometimes for the better; sometimes not]

[robertpolyglot]

I'm the same whether at school or not in school, whether at work or not at work, with the only difference being proper work attire in the latter.

The chemistry in school or at work usually carried to the outside, and the rapport, whether we were studying in the library or in the conference room, was essentially unchanged at something done outside of school or work.

When a person doesn't modify their style too much, people will either like you or not like you. It's the risk you take. However, I find it better than having friends with whom the friendship would otherwise be a "stretch."

[brokencrayola]

Anytime you spend more quality time with someone you grow closer to them, so yes, I think they are all closer hanging out after school.

[Tintlelli]

In fact, yes, I think it helps a little to get to know someone outside of work or school. I've only had a few "work friends" to whom I've been close enough to hang out outside of work (not really lamenting that though!) and I've enjoyed getting to know them better. I've ended up liking and respecting them more once I see their house, family, taste in food, etc. and even better is seeing and hearing "how they really are" with opinions, relationships, etc. Most people, whether they say it or not, are "not themselves" when they are at work, including me. Plus an added benefit is after meeting them outside of work I get more comfortable with them at work--I relax more and even start talking to other people more often. I don't think it's a good idea to hang out with any ol' person from work with whom you're getting along (for now), but rather the people who you've trusted and liked for a while (say several months). Of course if you're talking about school as your work (or where you spend the most time), then you shouldn't wait so long because by the time the semester or year ends you might get too busy with something else and never see that friend any more.

[nyanna]

Yes, you do become closer to that person.

I've had co-workers or friends that were completely different from who they were at work or school. A few of them I regret ever getting to know them. And I hate when that happens because things become awkward...