U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 10-24-2012, 08:45 AM
 
8 posts, read 10,345 times
Reputation: 13

Advertisements

I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?

 
Old 10-24-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,019 posts, read 18,443,726 times
Reputation: 44792
[quote=tengdog;26644466]I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?[/quote]

Most adults find these stereotypes ridiculous as well. Your classmates need to grow up.
 
Old 10-24-2012, 11:50 AM
 
14,747 posts, read 29,208,505 times
Reputation: 8805
Quote:
Originally Posted by tengdog View Post
There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?
I grew up in America's second largest metro area and went to very mixed schools. MANY black kids DON'T like it when other black kids sound white. A minimum level of Ebonics must be present in the communication patterns to fit in. If it's not, you find that they hang around white people. Which doesn't bother me in the least. My black friends did not speak Ebonics, but it was obvious that they were black, because there is a specific tone of voice. (Just like there is a slight hint of Hispanic intonation, even when speaking to an educated Hispanic). The one exception that readily comes to mind is a black kid I went to HS with who already lived in an almost exclusively white neighborhood, his parents were upper middle class, and he just kept on "acting" and frequenting white people. No problem.

The reference to great athletes and great musicians is actually a big thorn in the side for the black community. Many kids aspire to achieving the same things as a way out of that predicament, without making another investment in more practical learning, and then suffer severe disappointments and get into trouble out of desperation. It's sad.

About other blacks making fun of blacks who try to better themselves, let's face it, if a black person wants a corner office up in the sky or to speak in front a courtroom, the Ebonics need to "take a hike." One of my friends referred to this issue as the "crab in the bucket" syndrome. That is, if you ever watch someone crabbing and they have a bucket for their catch, the crab at the top of the heap is more apt to make an exit out of the top of the bucket, but the other crabs intertwined with it keep it from doing so. I never thought of it that way, but I understood the analogy. It somewhat exists in Hispanic communities, though nowhere near as much, especially for Hispanics who can "pass." It is nonexistent in Asian communities, where excelling is the expected norm.

Kudos to the black guy or gal who has no problem with "sounding" white (or should I say American), hits the books, and makes something of themselves.
 
Old 10-24-2012, 12:39 PM
sun
 
Location: Central Connecticut
683 posts, read 1,980,339 times
Reputation: 443
I never thought about basketball as being a black dominated sport, especially at the youth level.
I live in a diverse urban area and when high school summer boy's basketball tournaments are held locally, teams come from all over the state to participate. And it becomes evident that teams from the smaller towns and suburbs will generally be mostly composed of white players, and that the teams from the cities will be mostly composed of minorities. That's mostly just a reflection of the population demographics of each team's respective area.
The way that I look at it, college and pro basketball is mostly dominated by people that are super tall and athletic. Well, maybe not quite as many of the woman players are as super tall as the men, but they're all certainly athletic with most being taller than average.

Last edited by sun; 10-24-2012 at 12:55 PM..
 
Old 10-24-2012, 12:50 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,871,077 times
Reputation: 36849
Quote:
Originally Posted by tengdog View Post
I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?
Nope. I'm with you
 
Old 10-24-2012, 01:41 PM
 
14,747 posts, read 29,208,505 times
Reputation: 8805
Quote:
Originally Posted by sun View Post
I never thought about basketball as being a black dominated sport
What about that sportscaster who made the comment to the tune of "nappy headed" about the Rutgers mostly black women's college basketball team? I couldn't believe that.

Last edited by robertpolyglot; 10-24-2012 at 01:51 PM.. Reason: it WAS Rutgers
 
Old 10-24-2012, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
27,330 posts, read 30,526,892 times
Reputation: 26957
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I grew up in America's second largest metro area and went to very mixed schools. MANY black kids DON'T like it when other black kids sound white. A minimum level of Ebonics must be present in the communication patterns to fit in. If it's not, you find that they hang around white people. Which doesn't bother me in the least. My black friends did not speak Ebonics, but it was obvious that they were black, because there is a specific tone of voice. (Just like there is a slight hint of Hispanic intonation, even when speaking to an educated Hispanic). The one exception that readily comes to mind is a black kid I went to HS with who already lived in an almost exclusively white neighborhood, his parents were upper middle class, and he just kept on "acting" and frequenting white people. No problem.
So growing up, a lot of people told me I sounded like a valley girl. Well, after I left the Bay Area (and interacted with more non Bay Area people. Ok more than a lot. Over time, I have noticed a difference in the way I am perceived.

The perceptions shift based on where people grew up, what their ethnic background is, and age. The reactions range from:
"your accent is cute" and they are pleasantly surprised
shock and awe (but generally positive)
disdain (and all of its cousins, like being accused of being uppity, snooty.....)

But I meet lots of other black women in the Bay Area, across ages that sound just like me, it is not like I am a unicorn. But you know, it isn't what is expected.

It can be amusing in work situations, as I meet most people via phone before I meet them in person. It is always funny when they are visibly surprised when I introduce myself.

I find the most interesting reactions come from "people of color" who did not grow up in the US.

Anyway, the concept of acting white and acting black is a subject near and dear to my heart as I heard it from both side. The funniest occasion when it came from a redneck guy when I was in high school. He was just jealous at the differences in "class" between us.
 
Old 10-24-2012, 05:49 PM
 
14,747 posts, read 29,208,505 times
Reputation: 8805
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
But I meet lots of other black women in the Bay Area, across ages that sound just like me, it is not like I am a unicorn. But you know, it isn't what is expected.

It can be amusing in work situations, as I meet most people via phone before I meet them in person. It is always funny when they are visibly surprised when I introduce myself.
I can imagine! I just thought about this. While a person can generally sense they are speaking with a black or Hispanic person on the phone, I am also able to pick out when I am speaking to an Asian woman, even an Americanized one without an accent. It's all in the demure, conciliatory delivery. I can't explain it. And then, when you get a last name that ends in "ng" or "moto," it's "there you go."

Ok, next.
 
Old 10-24-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
27,330 posts, read 30,526,892 times
Reputation: 26957
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I can imagine! I just thought about this. While a person can generally sense they are speaking with a black or Hispanic person on the phone, I am also able to pick out when I am speaking to an Asian woman, even an Americanized one without an accent. It's all in the demure, conciliatory delivery. I can't explain it. And then, when you get a last name that ends in "ng" or "moto," it's "there you go."

Ok, next.
I used to pick on my dad about this all the time. He says the same thing. And I agree sometimes. And then there are people like me. Who don't fit the pattern. He never had a good explanation for it.

But I do find that people who have a first language of Spanish phrase things in certain ways. And Indians. And most Asians. And well most people who started off with one language and learned English second. Even if it was early on. and I am sure there are more generalizations.


I am on my phone, please forgive the typos.
 
Old 10-24-2012, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
27,330 posts, read 30,526,892 times
Reputation: 26957
Quote:
Originally Posted by tengdog View Post
I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?
When I was in high school, guys like you would have been called W**gers. Instead of the much more polite "acting black." All ridiculous of course.

You didn't mention how old you are, but I find it pretty hilarious people are still using this terminology based on music and sports interests. By the time I got to middle/high school, just about everyone was listing to Nirvana, Snoop, Madonna, Dave Matthews Band, Blues Traveler, Blackstreet, BBD, and 2Pac. You were pretty much a weirdo if you weren't.

Basically everyone I know around my age knows all of those songs. Even those who only listen to "indie hipster music" now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top