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I would just email back "No thank you" and say nothing else. Hopefully he will drop it.
Or you could go really passive-aggressive and just completely ignore the email - delete it with no response.
WTF gets anyone a ski helmet for Mothers day in May? Your SF has a set of balls- did he raise you or is he a recent addition? He is WAY out of line-not to mention cheap.
I would just email back "No thank you" and say nothing else. Hopefully he will drop it.
Or you could go really passive-aggressive and just completely ignore the email - delete it with no response.
^^^This!!
Pick up something that is appropriate, coming from you. It's different if you asked for ideas about a gift, but you didn't. It's step dad's idea.
Why does he feel the need to tell you [and sibling] how much you should spend on your mother? Has he done this before? You're a grown person; why does he still feel the need to be in control?
I live in FLA and am planning a trip to NJ to see my Mom for Mother's Day. I haven't bought the tickets yet. I emailed my Mom about my plans and she said "yes, come, seeing you would be the best birthday present or mother's day present etc etc." My Mom and I aren't really close, but as she's getting older she's trying a little harder and I've grown up to put our problems behind us. Her birthday is the last week in March.
So I get an email from my stepdad today addressed to me and my older brother asking us to split the purchase of a ski helmet for her $160. Here are my issues:
(1) I am already planning to go see her and that will run me $200. My brother was also supposed to come but is not coming because he can't take the time off and they are going to see him in Colorado (mind you they never come to see me).
(2) I don't think my brother will chip in.
(3) I don't want to. If I get her a gift, I want to get her something I want to get her and I'm already going down there.
(4) I really don't have the extra money. My DP are on a strict budget this year. We are trying for a baby, trying to be more aggressive with our bills (I'm on track to pay off my car this year) etc. The only reason I have enough money for the ticket is because I got a credit card reward to pay for most of it.
Mostly, I'm just sick of him doing this. He's always asking to chip in for gifts for her. Mind you, my parents combined make about 5 times more than I do. Honestly, I just don't have the money, I'm already going to see her and I hate when he does this. What's the most PC way to handle this? No matter what reason I give him, I'll get a huge guilt trip from him and I hate that.
then tell your step dad what you just wrote here....you didn't say it in an angry way, but you said it, b/c it's your real true feelings....honesty is the best policy...and if he gets upset, to bad, he'll get over it....besides, your mother will view seeing you again, as the best gift she ever had, believe me...I feel that way when I see my DIL, son and GD.
I live in FLA and am planning a trip to NJ to see my Mom for Mother's Day. I haven't bought the tickets yet. I emailed my Mom about my plans and she said "yes, come, seeing you would be the best birthday present or mother's day present etc etc." My Mom and I aren't really close, but as she's getting older she's trying a little harder and I've grown up to put our problems behind us. Her birthday is the last week in March.
So I get an email from my stepdad today addressed to me and my older brother asking us to split the purchase of a ski helmet for her $160. Here are my issues:
(1) I am already planning to go see her and that will run me $200. My brother was also supposed to come but is not coming because he can't take the time off and they are going to see him in Colorado (mind you they never come to see me).
(2) I don't think my brother will chip in.
(3) I don't want to. If I get her a gift, I want to get her something I want to get her and I'm already going down there.
(4) I really don't have the extra money. My DP are on a strict budget this year. We are trying for a baby, trying to be more aggressive with our bills (I'm on track to pay off my car this year) etc. The only reason I have enough money for the ticket is because I got a credit card reward to pay for most of it.
Mostly, I'm just sick of him doing this. He's always asking to chip in for gifts for her. Mind you, my parents combined make about 5 times more than I do. Honestly, I just don't have the money, I'm already going to see her and I hate when he does this. What's the most PC way to handle this? No matter what reason I give him, I'll get a huge guilt trip from him and I hate that.
Tell him "NO" and tell him why. No need for a long explanation, just "it isn't in our budget now." That's all that you need to say. It sounds as though he should be buying her a ski helmet, not you! It sounds as though they have the money for ski trips and other luxuries and they live in a more expensive part of the country than you do.
I would give your mother an inexpensive but nice gift, as a token of affection. Perhaps a pretty scarf, a coffee table book of something that she is interested in a fragrance or a basket of fruit for both of them to enjoy.
Sine your stepdad is rude demanding and boorish, any attempt to handle this in a polite or delicate manner will be ignored by him. He has done this before right? Don't let him do it again!
Make it your business not to be alone with this man so that he has no opportunity to lay a guilt trip on you. Go out to lunch with your mom alone for example and just say it's a girls day out.
Stop this man now and don't give in! Send him an e-mail and tell him what I said. Keep it short. Balance this with a nice e-mail to mom telling her that you are on a budget and that the trip is your gift!
It sounds like there is quite a bit of back story to your relationship with your mom, and I give you credit for making this effort. I am also sure that this step father has been of no help.
Enjoy your trip, stand your ground, and let us all know about the baby! Sending you positive thoughts!
I don't think you should tell him that it's not in your budget, because your financial concerns are yours, not his. It's no one's business what your reasoning is.
I agree with others about not telling him anything, just saying you already took care of Mom's gift.
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Sending you positive thoughts! 
