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I reads your original posting and understood it completely, unlike some others here.
Then read all the way through, thank your for following up and letting the forum know your decision.
The one big thing I hope you have learned from your wasted time in Cleveland is, since you are an adult, don't do what your friends, parents or co-workers want you to do, it will never make you happy. If you do what you decide to do its 50/50 odds.
Why in the world do you feel beholden to them? Or expect them to hand you the life you want on a silver platter? Time to grow up, decide what you want and do it!
Ummm... did you read this thread?
She moved to Dallas in July.
Ummm... did you read this thread?
She moved to Dallas in July.
No one bothers to read through 3-4 pages of responses, and does not look when the orginal post was. They just want to put their two cents in and try and put my down!
Read the first and last paragraph. Which is a shame because I did chuckle at where you found your balls. You have a good sense of humor.
Move to Dallas. Dont look back.
After being in town for about a year, I moved away for college. While in Cleveland, I met two friends (a husband and wife around my age). They missed me so much and wanted me to move back to Cleveland. I said "F-that" because the year I stayed in CLE. J said that she felt that her side of town would be a better fit for me (East Side). I was able to get some time off and able to tour around the "Nice" part of Cleveland. Along with that she was able to hook me up with a great employer.
Since I've been here in Cleveland, its been basically the opposite of everything J has said...
The "basket full of friends" as I like to say, non-existent. I've met maybe..maybe a handful of her friends. She spoke of this "big social network of friends" that were so excited to meet me and that she could introduce me to. Now that I am here, she doesn't speak to many of those friends. Those friends are busy with their own lives etc.
All these big plans she had for me? Mini-trips? Things to see? Never happens. She wanted to take me to FL, on a cruise, Columbus, Cinci, Toronot etc etc. The only place we've managed to go was an overnight to PIT. Even with that, I did not have fun. Everything was planned to a "T", with a certain time frame, and we had to hurry, hurry, hurry to make the next thing on her to-do list and nothing could be enjoyed. Right now they are in Disneyland and I get texts saying "I wish you were here" and "you'd enjoy this", but clearly I am here, they are there. This is the second or third trip where they up and go and I am here in Cleveland and I get the same old texts of "we wish you were here" and "we need to bring you here".
Both J and G treat me more like a child than a friend. They try to push their ideas onto me. "I suggest you do this" "I highly recommend you do that" is often said. When I don't do what they want, I'll get a "Dude! I told you to do........" J has tried to replace my family/parents with hers. I don't feel comfy calling them "mom and dad", they are not. She had this idea that we should all join the gym and designed a schedule for the gym that would all meet our needs. She felt it would be best if we'd all meet daily at 7AM. I tried it for a few days and then told her that I can't get up that early. She seemed to not take into account that I get out of work at 11PM, and usually go to bed around 1AM. I told her that she could join me at a time that would work best for me, say midnight. She said "I'll be in bed!" I said "now you know how I feel {with 7AM}"
I get the impression its ok (in their eyes) for J and G to do something, but not me. With the early start times of the gym, I tended to be late by 10-15 minutes. She would point to her watch and say "dude! You're late!!!".One day they were late, but clearly it was fine because she texted stating they were running late. When they got there, they had to nerve to comment on my shorts. Both of them looked at me and pointed at my shorts stating "those aren't gym shorts!!" Even when they are in the "wrong" for being late, it needs to be turned around on me for "wearing the wrong shorts" (as if an employee were to come tap on my shoulder and shout "you need to leave!").
She discourages me from going back to Vermont for visit. She wants to take me to FL in Oct and when I said I bought a flight and got time off for my birthday, she said "I hope you didn't blow all your PTO on VT, you need to save about 60 hours for Oct".
Speaking of my currently employer; its not what I expected it to be. I am so burnt out. I am in a call center (I guess I could stop there). Between the non-stop calls, to the false advertising, to my slacking colleagues ("sitting" in after call work, while calls are holding to chat or browse Facebook), while I take calls after calls to clear the holding calls.
Paid time off seems very hard to get off. Luckily, its getting better but I requested PTO for the end of April months in advance so I could join my cousins from Vermont to go to Dallas. Of course, the request went into a black hole they seem to have around here and I never heard back. Time went on and air fare went up. Clearly, I stayed in Cleveland while my friends had fun in Dallas and I had to explain "well its very hard to get time off". When my grandfather passed away a few months ago, I had to fight for the time off to go to the funeral. I had my 3 days of Breivement, but with the way my schedule is, I wanted to use 1 more day of PTO, so It would afford me a whole week off. It was out of state, so I had to factor in traveling. My PTO got declined, and declined, until I brought it up the chain, it then got approved. I don't want to think about what would happen if/when a family member overseas were to pass away. I took the job at the call center as a one year thing. I was told by my friends (who also work at this company that after a year I could a transfer and get another job within the company).
Well, now I am hearing from higher-ups that..opps...it looks like the average time to get out of the call center is 2-3 years after the 1 year time frame. Hmm that's too bad. I am not sure if I can do a whole 'nother year.
With all that, I feel I have a few options ahead of me.
Stay in Cleveland but move towards the other side of town, away from G and J. Give myself and them space. I have just now found my balls (they were in J's purse), and start standing up to them. Started telling them that I'll do my own thing and basically its my life.
Stay in Cleveland, look for a better job and get out of this hospital.
Move to Dallas. After all, it was my dream and I fell in love with it all those years ago. I have recently gotten into contact with my old manager, who has connections into Dallas. I would have to start from scratch. I can live with my uncle (spare room) until I get settled. I feel that, Dallas and Cleveland compare about the same when it comes to Cost of Living. I would leave a few friends here, for the great "unknown". As much as I complained above, I am settled, I guess the thought of up and moving is a little scary.
Can you give is the Spark Notes on this?
Cleveland is one type od place and any city in Texas (including Austin), is another.
Dallas is somewhat more expensive that Cleveland. But, you are correct, not by a lot.
I prefer the quality of life and more moderate attitudes of people in most states that are not "Texas".
Cleveland is one type od place and any city in Texas (including Austin), is another.
Dallas is somewhat more expensive that Cleveland. But, you are correct, not by a lot.
I prefer the quality of life and more moderate attitudes of people in most states that are not "Texas".
Sure! If you read a few post up before responding you'd see its old news
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