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Q. Why are some people downright nasty on message boards?
A. Because some people ask for it.
Not you, OP. I just ran into a real winner on here who is just begging to be slapped silly for being an epic [word that makes most women cringe when they hear it and begins with a c].
Ain't it the truth! I follow and post on another thread and I quickly realized who was part of the clique, who routinely had nothing but negative comments to share and who was genuinely helpful and offered reliable information. Its kind of like high school all over again - there will be bullies and cliques and oddballs. Sometimes you need to sift through a lot of crap to get to the information you really need, but for what its worth, I have found some really solid information on these forums.
Funny how along with bringing out the worst it also can bring out the best sometimes. I have seen whole online communitys come together help one of theirs in need at times which seems to offset a lot of the negative.
Many interesting, perceptive, and insightful comments so far on various aspects of the "nastiness". I agree we should expect to have to sort through the chaff to get to the wheat because human nature is what it is. Some people are full of anger and hostility, others delight in riling people up, and still others are overflowing with compassion and a desire to be helpful and supportive. A slightly different approach is taken by the "objective" types who like to be analytical.
I have observed that some orginal posters announce in their OP that the thread is to be a "safe" and supportive place in which [fill in the blank] type of negativity is not allowed. While I see nothing wrong with laying out those hopes and intentions for the thread, OP's should not be surprised when eventually a few folks do not follow them. At that point the OP's sometimes allow themselves to be run off of their own threads, announcing in despair that they are not coming back. A touch of realism can avoid that over-reaction, but then again there are all types out there, including the overly sensitive.
Honestly, I am not surprised to hear your complaints about a single-gender message board. As a man, I have seen some disgusting behaviour on forums dedicated to men's interests.
In my opinion, many become far too emotionally invested in message boards. I come to message boards for an exchange of ideas and information. I try and remain reserved and emotionally distanced from posters. I have been located in some downright venomous arguments in my time. Given my lack of emotional investment, I responded clearly and calmly, which seems to enrage people in such situations all the more.
I don't know the answer to your question, but try not to let it bother you. You take the good with the bad, and I've made friends on CD and had a lot of great conversations with people I wouldn't have met without the board. I've made friends on other message boards as well. Some forums here are better than others. The Politics and Relationships forums can be pretty brutal, but the Pets and Food & Drink sections hardly ever have controversy.
For one thing, it's easier for people to say things online that they're less likely to face consequences for than in real life or on a website where their identity is public or well-known. For another thing, it says more about them than you if they're online all day and all night; they do have no life. Also, I find it interesting, internet cliques. I've run into that so much that I have on occasion found myself wondering, gosh, wouldn't it be nuts if all these internet cliques were just one person with a bunch of different usernames? I mean, how can people honestly click so good behind a computer? Anyway, hang in there, I know the feeling.
Well, since you mentioned it happened in a parenting/mom forum, I'm guessing these are stay-at-home moms who sit at home all day and have nothing better to do than be snarks on the internet. This also probably helps them feel better about their non-existent lives by banding together with other like women. That, and it may give them some sense of control where they otherwise have none.
For one thing, it's easier for people to say things online that they're less likely to face consequences for than in real life or on a website where their identity is public or well-known. For another thing, it says more about them than you if they're online all day and all night; they do have no life. Also, I find it interesting, internet cliques. I've run into that so much that I have on occasion found myself wondering, gosh, wouldn't it be nuts if all these internet cliques were just one person with a bunch of different usernames? I mean, how can people honestly click so good behind a computer? Anyway, hang in there, I know the feeling.
Surely you've noticed the same thing here on City-Data (CD). I think 75% of the posters here on CD are as cool as ducks while the other 25% are malcontents (grumpy/grouchy/bitter/miserable/unhappy people who aren't getting enough fiber in their diet and/or sex in their lives) who try to make everyone else's lives as miserable as their own.
I usually ignore them, but I also occasionally kick a hornet's nest or two in their general direction; I know... I'm a terrible person and I'm not proud of it, either .
I'm not talking about city-data either. Maybe bc it's a mixture of men and women, I dunno. I got so fed up, I recently de-activated my account on another parenting/mom type board. The women on there, and it was literally a clique of them, were downright witches, especially to posters who didn't live 24/7 on the board. I mean, you would post a question or even a vent, which many of us do on here too, and there were women on there who would post an extremely witchy comment, totally unrelated to what you posted, just because, or the best, would post gifs (pictures) which were usually mocking the person, and then a whole bunch of other women would join along. It was pathetic. And the holyier than thou attitudes some of them had. I can be a witch too if need be, and I got attacked IMO, a few times and went right back at them. I guess that rubbed them the wrong way bc then they would search out my older posts, bump it up, and start writing snotty things. This wasn't just done to me, it was done to loads of people. I am all for tough love or telling it like it is, but then there is being mean, just for the sake of being mean. I swear my only conclusion is that they must not have sex very often, have miserable lives/marriages or are literal internet loons. Is this a case of Internet balls? Like if I met any of these people in real life they would say half the crap that they post hiding behind their screen remaining anonymous?
People do this because they're angry people with serious issues deep down, and we have degenerated into a country where everyone gets indignant and offended at the littlest thing... which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that a lot of them will call a lawyer if they get offended. They'll press charges for harassment, defamation, racism, hate speech, you name it. People are nasty on Internet message boards because, deep down, we all want to be able to enjoy "free speech" but most of us feel that we can't... so we do it in the only way in which it won't get us into any trouble... anonymously over the Internet.
And yes, in real life, most of these people would be so gentle and nice that you wouldn't imagine they could fulminate like that over the Internet.
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I follow and post on another thread and I quickly realized who was part of the clique, who routinely had nothing but negative comments to share and who was genuinely helpful and offered reliable information. Its kind of like high school all over again - there will be bullies and cliques and oddballs. Sometimes you need to sift through a lot of crap to get to the information you really need, but for what its worth, I have found some really solid information on these forums.
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