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Old 11-20-2014, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,321 posts, read 5,107,653 times
Reputation: 9781

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To the OP and others like her:
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Rant about depressed people in my life and how can I cope with all of my girl friends being weak depressed losers?-o-robot-hugs-570.jpg  
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Old 11-21-2014, 07:04 AM
 
5,064 posts, read 7,831,104 times
Reputation: 8196
"weak depressed losers"

I'm sorry, but LOL.
That's quite a description.

I have a friend that I find to be somewhat weak and often depressed, but wouldn't go so far as to call her a loser.

She's educated, has masters degree, is relatively attractive, but she is recently out of work... and is clingy and can be annoying and I think weak sometimes, but def not a loser.
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Old 11-21-2014, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Wherever I am
457 posts, read 787,174 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
You can choose to be happy for sure. I do it every day. I have a tendency towards depression, so for me it is a very conscious decision. But it's not easy at all.

You CAN take control of the conversation. Ask the depressed person what they're doing to change their situation. If they say nothing and keep going down the same tracks, say you've already given the your feedback and don't know how to help them further. Then change the subject.

I tend to practice a version of clicker training with people who are relentlessly depressed. I respond neutrally to negativity with comments like "Wow." "I see." Etc. I don't make eye contact. When they say something remotely positive, I immediately engage with them enthusiastically and ask them questions about whatever it was they were talking about or what their opinion is about it, etc. I have actually seen this work. It's kind of a fun experiment too

Consider also that you seek out depressed people because they represent normalcy (however dismal) to you. Maybe make a conscious effort to seek out happy people (which is what I do).
I am laughing SO HARD at this right now....only because I've started doing the exact same thing with a friend who constantly has a lot of "self inflicted" drama going on, and is ALWAYS whining and complaining to me about it.

I honestly didn't even realize I was using the dog training approach with her until my boyfriend pointed it out to me after a comment I made about ignoring her "annoying behavior." He told me that she wasn't a dog, lol. Wellllllll.....I discovered that IT WORKS ON PEOPLE TOO!!! Our relationship is getting much better because of it!
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