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Old 05-21-2013, 11:14 AM
 
17 posts, read 72,222 times
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I feel like i don't matter to this world. I feel like i don't come across people's minds. Hardly anyone calls me anymore (unless they want something). Everybody that i know is married w/ kids, or in relationships. I guess they are to busy to acknowledge my existence. I blame myself for putting all my time in making friends and being nice to people. I love talking to people since i have gotta over my stuttering problem. I really don't know what to do. I wish somebody would have taught me that people are this difficult to deal with when i was younger. I do anything for people, but now i'm starting to think my way of making friends is stupid
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:27 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,087,446 times
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People tend to forget about those outside their circle of family or friends. You gotta make an effort to keep it up.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:30 PM
 
7,492 posts, read 11,835,038 times
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I do, and I treat them the same way. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so...

You can't blame yourself for not being raised to see people as they really are. People are raised to be doormats. Only some people learn not to be, and they become loners quite a bit.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:00 PM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,385,483 times
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When I feel that I don't matter to people that is a red flag that I'm falling into a depression. Just a thought.

Stop being nice and start being real. You can be courteous and friendly without being a doormat.

If you have a place of your own, you may want to start hosting small events for friends (and acquaintances you hope will become friends) on a regular basis.

My one buddy would hold brunches at his house and host movie nights. He has a lot of friends who love him dearly. It doesn't even have to be pricey. My cousins can make a party with some chips, hot dogs and a case of Coors.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,329 posts, read 93,793,178 times
Reputation: 17831
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflamesx View Post
I feel like i don't matter to this world. I feel like i don't come across people's minds. Hardly anyone calls me anymore (unless they want something). Everybody that i know is married w/ kids, or in relationships. I guess they are to busy to acknowledge my existence. I blame myself for putting all my time in making friends and being nice to people. I love talking to people since i have gotta over my stuttering problem. I really don't know what to do. I wish somebody would have taught me that people are this difficult to deal with when i was younger. I do anything for people, but now i'm starting to think my way of making friends is stupid
Wait until you have kids, then you'll really feel like you don't matter - unless they need money.
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Old 05-21-2013, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,172,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
When I feel that I don't matter to people that is a red flag that I'm falling into a depression. Just a thought.

Stop being nice and start being real. You can be courteous and friendly without being a doormat.

If you have a place of your own, you may want to start hosting small events for friends (and acquaintances you hope will become friends) on a regular basis.

My one buddy would hold brunches at his house and host movie nights. He has a lot of friends who love him dearly. It doesn't even have to be pricey. My cousins can make a party with some chips, hot dogs and a case of Coors.
JrzDefector has some great points.

Good luck to you.
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Old 05-22-2013, 06:11 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,180,454 times
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Quote:
If you have a place of your own, you may want to start hosting small events for friends (and acquaintances you hope will become friends) on a regular basis.

My one buddy would hold brunches at his house and host movie nights. He has a lot of friends who love him dearly. It doesn't even have to be pricey. My cousins can make a party with some chips, hot dogs and a case of Coors
Been there done that. Most of the people you will invite will appreciate it but never invite you to a smiliar get together.

After awhile we got tired of being the party guys when 90% of our guests never invited US to a party.

People are basically logs, and the only people that "matter" to each other are immediate family (& even then, maybe not)
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Old 05-22-2013, 07:31 AM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,385,483 times
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Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
Been there done that. Most of the people you will invite will appreciate it but never invite you to a smiliar get together.

After awhile we got tired of being the party guys when 90% of our guests never invited US to a party.

People are basically logs, and the only people that "matter" to each other are immediate family (& even then, maybe not)
It's not about being invited to something similar. A lot of my friends are quiet introverts - throwing parties is a traumatizing for them. It's about providing an event for your friends to bond and to build relationships with each other and cement a social group. My buddy in my home town is the party thrower - he cemented our group by providing us occasions to socialize. He's also the first person we call to go out to the bar or to ask if he wants tickets to whatever concert or sporting event we're going to. And I've only thrown a few parties over the past decade.

I don't know many people who primarily socialize with immediate family, actually. At least not people who are adults who can drive, lol.
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Old 05-22-2013, 10:29 AM
 
17 posts, read 72,222 times
Reputation: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
Been there done that. Most of the people you will invite will appreciate it but never invite you to a smiliar get together.

After awhile we got tired of being the party guys when 90% of our guests never invited US to a party.

People are basically logs, and the only people that "matter" to each other are immediate family (& even then, maybe not)
I figured that out about a 1 year ago, it is no hope trying to connect with people.
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Old 05-22-2013, 10:50 AM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
6,927 posts, read 6,942,450 times
Reputation: 16509
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflamesx View Post
I feel like i don't matter to this world. I feel like i don't come across people's minds. Hardly anyone calls me anymore (unless they want something). Everybody that i know is married w/ kids, or in relationships. I guess they are to busy to acknowledge my existence. I blame myself for putting all my time in making friends and being nice to people. I love talking to people since i have gotta over my stuttering problem. I really don't know what to do. I wish somebody would have taught me that people are this difficult to deal with when i was younger. I do anything for people, but now i'm starting to think my way of making friends is stupid
It can be difficult if you're the only single person among your circle of friends. Couples tend to focus on one another and do things with other couples. That's most likely your REAL problem, although there is such a thing as being too nice, which makes a person come off as a doormat.

A better way of making friends might be to focus on other people who are also single and who share some of your same interests. It sounds to me like you've been trying to turn everyone you meet into a friend when most of them will really never be anything more than acquaintances. A person can have a nice chat with an acquaintance or do them some small favor, but save anything more for actual friends.

Most people don't make real, solid friendships over night. It takes a while to discover if someone will be a true friend. Doing a whole bunch of stuff for someone you hardly know usually won't work.
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