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Sounds like there isn't a very good relationship in place from either side, so the fact that they didn't stop in to visit is simply more of the same rather than some big event.
It takes two sides who WANT to find understanding and caring in the other to make any relationship work. Right now, this relationship doesn't seem to have anyone who wants that. They don't seem to care for you. You seem to want to lecture them and impose your opinions of how they should be. Might be best to simply let this relationship cool down a little.
Brushrunner, why are you telling us this tale of woe? You sound like a typical, tyrannical in-law; we all know the type. Maybe your sense of drama and entitlement keeps your adult children away. You write:
"I posted to Daughter in Law they should have stopped in and seen how I was doing."
"Should have?" You harangued and tried to guilt your daughter-in-law on Facebook, for all to see? I'm glad she seems to be immune to your self-aggrandization.
Well I know I'm not Happy and I feel their true colors came through, seems I'm going to have to talk with them about respect which they don't seem to have any. brushrunner
Yeah - that should work out real well. You can't force people to respect you. It's a two way street. If you've given respect and it isn't reciprocated, there isn't much you can do.
Conversely, if you've been given respect and act like you're just entitled to it, don't expect to get it again.
Begging to die because your hemorrhoids are killing you is NOT, in spite of the agony (for which I sympathize) a "life and death" experience.
Yes, they do go on for a LONG time and yes, they are a serious PIA.
BUT, they generally don't engender family sympathy of any meaningful amount. I don't even think Hallmark has a card for that..... Hey A$$hole......here's to a loose stool...? It Just doesn't have that 'family' ring.
The kids> Give it up. Move along. They'll come see you and ask about your butt when they are ready. Usually an extra fifty in the Christmas card helps to move it along.
Good luck. Hope you feel better. Still got that bottle in the basement? Now would be a good time to go down for a quick snort...and it's liquid ;-)
Ok our Hospital is 2 Blocks from the Interstate, our Home is 7 miles not a Great Distance.
I was operated on which turned very difficult, I spent 9 hours between life and death, Doctor wasn't even thinking of leaving. While I was being operated on one Son knew I was being operated on at the time he went by but he didn't stop.
Ok since I have been home I've been Home Bound and still plenty sick, have Nurse coming in taking care of me. Today on Facebook my other Son and his family went down Interstate. I posted to Daughter in Law they should have stopped in and seen how I was doing. She post back, How you are doing how about how I was doing? I post Well considering I can't leave the house I should be happy to be alive.
Oh the first one was coming from a Ball Game and second one was coming from the Zoo.
I wasn't happy with either one.
brushrunner
They didn't care? It's sad. But if your relationship is not a close one, I guess it is what it is. But sometimes "operation" doesn't mean "life and death". So if you would like them to express concern, you should explicitly state that: I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to make it.... or something like that. Maybe they will pick up on your concern and then will join you in expressing theirs. Otherwise, they just probably think: oh, yes, just a surgery to fix something, no big deal.
Some kids and parents don't care about each other, the bond that usually binds people together is missing.
Actually, I heard of this a lot (from tv shows mostly) and that's why I didn't really want to have children in the first place. I thought: I would get attached to them, and then later they won't care...
I was operated on which turned very difficult, I spent 9 hours between life and death, Doctor wasn't even thinking of leaving. While I was being operated on one Son knew I was being operated on at the time he went by but he didn't stop...................
I wasn't happy with either one.
I can totally understand this and I would hope they both have a very good reason for not going to see you!!
Im glad your home and I hope you dont have to make any return visits!!
I'm confused. Are you their parent? How were they raised? Were they raised with respect? This doesn't sound like an isolated incident. How did you treat them when you were well?
I'm having a flashback to that old "just say no" ad from the 80s:
"where did you learn how to be so disrespectful?"
"You, all right? I learned it by watching you!"
Well I know Daughter in Law was mad at us because she wanted us to come to Grandsons Birthday Party at Chucky Cheese just before I went into Hospital, Grandsons birthday was actually two months ago, but they couldn't celebrate it then because they was on vacation. My wife explained to her I was much too sick, we had already given Grandson his Birthday Present but Daughter in Law got mad anyway That might be one reason they didn't stop.
Well I know I'm not Happy and I feel their true colors came through, seems I'm going to have to talk with them about respect which they don't seem to have any.
brushrunner
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you make a speedy recovery.
I don't think you should bother, really. When people show you their true colors, believe them, don't fight them to change it. We don't all matter to everyone, even family, even if we think we should. The best thing to do is to form relationships with people who do value you.
Then there is this:
Quote:
I posted to Daughter in Law they should have stopped in and seen how I was doing. She post back, How you are doing how about how I was doing? I post Well considering I can't leave the house I should be happy to be alive.
This kind of attention seeking is really unbecoming. They may be crappy but I think you have stuff you need to work on as well. You don't guilt people like that and tell them what they should do for you when you are ill. They either do it or they don't. You define your relationship from there and proceed accordingly.
Someone else said it well. You can't teach grown adults what they should have learned when it would have made a difference. Somewhere along the line, someone failed them. Doesn't mean you have to live with it, but you can't force them to feel something for you that they clearly don't.
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That might be one reason they didn't stop.
