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After seeing threads about Christmas and the things people are complaining about I think it is time to list what people think proper behavior is.
1.) Do not insist that people stay at your house. No normal person wants to share a bathroom with in laws or sleep on something other than a bed.
2.) If you do the Bad Santa exchange, and no one ever takes your gift from another person, rethink your gift buying. See what gifts are taken from others and buy something similar. My gifts are always taken the maximum amount of times because I buy liquor or wine. I don't drink but I realize that most people do or at least have it at home to offer guests.
3.) Do not give crafts or any kind of homemade item. They may act gracious but you can bet you will never see the item displayed in their home. People like to decorate in their style, not yours. So forget the picture frames and assorted knickknacks.
4.) The same goes for clothes. Do you want others to pick out what you will wear?
5.) Do not try to force food on people. I will never eat something to be polite. If a person doesn't take any of your casserole, do not mention it.
6.) If you are part of a group gift exchange and do not know what "gender neutral" or something similar means look it up.
7.) If you have pets, do not give baked goods for a gift. Maybe to family but never to anyone else. I have heard more comments about this than anything else. I have been at work parties and have had things pointed out to me so I wouldn't put any on my plate.
8.) A donation made in your name is not a gift. It is a memorial contribution. Wait until they die before you do that.
9.) Forget the mugs and hats that say grandma. You will have to throw away all that stuff when they die. The same with gifts to a teacher. Every teacher I know would rather have a gift card.
Achtung, baby. Any more laws you'd like to lay down, Herr Thinkalot?
Me, I don't complain about gifts I receive. If something is not to my taste, I either regift it or donate it. Complaining about something someone gives you is crass.
Achtung, baby. Any more laws you'd like to lay down, Herr Thinkalot?
Me, I don't complain about gifts I receive. If something is not to my taste, I either regift it or donate it. Complaining about something someone gives you is crass.
I think that is a pretty comprehensive list. Unfortunately, anyone who would benefit from anything on the list doesn't think that the item applies to them.
After seeing threads about Christmas and the things people are complaining about I think it is time to list what people think proper behavior is.
1.) Do not insist that people stay at your house. No normal person wants to share a bathroom with in laws or sleep on something other than a bed.
2.) If you do the Bad Santa exchange, and no one ever takes your gift from another person, rethink your gift buying. See what gifts are taken from others and buy something similar. My gifts are always taken the maximum amount of times because I buy liquor or wine. I don't drink but I realize that most people do or at least have it at home to offer guests.
3.) Do not give crafts or any kind of homemade item. They may act gracious but you can bet you will never see the item displayed in their home. People like to decorate in their style, not yours. So forget the picture frames and assorted knickknacks.
4.) The same goes for clothes. Do you want others to pick out what you will wear?
5.) Do not try to force food on people. I will never eat something to be polite. If a person doesn't take any of your casserole, do not mention it.
6.) If you are part of a group gift exchange and do not know what "gender neutral" or something similar means look it up.
7.) If you have pets, do not give baked goods for a gift. Maybe to family but never to anyone else. I have heard more comments about this than anything else. I have been at work parties and have had things pointed out to me so I wouldn't put any on my plate.
8.) A donation made in your name is not a gift. It is a memorial contribution. Wait until they die before you do that.
9.) Forget the mugs and hats that say grandma. You will have to throw away all that stuff when they die. The same with gifts to a teacher. Every teacher I know would rather have a gift card.
I am sure others have their complaints.
Wow. Here I thought I was being helpful by inviting everyone to stay at the house. Would you suggest I check with the local Hampton Inn to see if we can get a group rate?
I too have had gifts that were not well received. I gave a copy of Don Quixote to a person who probably would have preferred a bottle of tequila.
Have never heard that thing about not giving baked goods if I have pets. Is that because dog hairs might turn up in the baklava?
I agree that gift cards are better than mugs. We all have plenty of mugs. But to base this on how you have to throw it out when they die, there are plenty things that get pitched there at the end. Should we not be giving sweaters, scarfs, mittens, throw blankets, etc. if we fear we will not have a use for them once the recipient croaks?
Hmmmm.... I never "insist that people stay at your house." They ask me if they can please stay!
Seriously, I had various houseguests every single night from December 19th through December 30th. At least two people each night.
I had a blast; they had a blast.
Sorry that you cannot share a bathroom, OP!
You had plenty of what you do not like in that list... anything about Christmas you DO like?
Hmmmm.... I never "insist that people stay at your house." They ask me if they can please stay!
Seriously, I had various houseguests every single night from December 19th through December 30th. At least two people each night.
I had a blast; they had a blast.
Sorry that you cannot share a bathroom, OP!
You had plenty of what you do not like in that list... anything about Christmas you DO like?
I think that the OP was referring to those horror show situations where family members insist that EVERYONE stay at their house. Like the recent poster that I remember saying that 22 to 25 people stayed in the small house with one bathroom. That Poster said that the house was so noisy that people rarely got more than a couple of hours of sleep a night. Adults in their 50s & 60s were forced to sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor and it was so crowded that children had to sleep on the floor under the diningroom table. Every space in every room was filled with people. The Grandparents insisted that everyone stay at the house and no one could stay in a motel.
Another poster wrote about 12 or 15 people forced to stay in a tiny mobile home, again with just one bathroom. These posters wanted to stay at a hotel but their family members "insisted" that they were being uncooperative and unfriendly if they didn't enjoy the "huge slumber party".
Every year I read posts from people who felt that they were in virtual hostage situations for Thanksgiving weekend or Christmas week.
Pitt, If people love to stay with you great but if you are forcing people to sleep on the floor when they want to stay at a motel you may want to rethink your holiday plans. I reread your post you are talking about 2 people a night. What if you had 22 to 25 people staying for Christmas week sharing your one bathroom? It may make a change in your opinion of that item.
10. If you regift something, check the box before wrapping it and be sure to remove any gift tags from the previous owner. I once received a regifted regift from a friend. When I took the item out of the box, I found a card in the bottom that said, "Merry Christmas, Honey," signed by the husband of a friend of the friend who gave me the gift. Even though the gift was something that I wanted, it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
10. If you regift something, check the box before wrapping it and be sure to remove any gift tags from the previous owner. I once received a regifted regift from a friend. When I took the item out of the box, I found a card in the bottom that said, "Merry Christmas, Honey," signed by the husband of a friend of the friend who gave me the gift. Even though the gift was something that I wanted, it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
Now that is actually a useful reminder, as opposed to random kvetching that may not apply to many people.
Now that is actually a useful reminder, as opposed to random kvetching that may not apply to many people.
Thanks, Lilac! I'm still trying to figure out why pet owners shouldn't give baked goods.
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