Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's true. But... We are not children. My issue has to do with being treated like we are 12yr old kids. Home should be a place to be yourself. Not to be unpleasantly domineered by her mother. I can't even relax at home on a day off. I have to go somewhere else to relax on a day off. That is not normal.
It's not normal, but you're letting her get to you. You should just live your life as you please. Quit paying attention to her. The alternative is to move out and date her daughter until she dies.
The gf has an adult sibling. When the sibling is staying there the mother does the same thing, domineers them til they get PO'd and leave. Then the mother throws a fit complaining no one wants to spend time with her.
She's very difficult to talk to. Maybe in their culture the parents are the boss til the day they die. But that doesn't work here in the US. Here in the US, while the advice of the parents should still be respected, their authority decreases as the children grow up. And we are in our late 30's,and make our own money and pay the bills. We are responsible adults.
Actually I think the alternative is to pay half the living expenses, not "some" of them. At this point, the OP has to put up with whatever the homeowner girlfriend deems proper to keep her mother happy. The OP has very few rights here. He didn't marry his gf, and he doesn't seem to be paying for half of the living expenses. I'm feeling a want the cake and eat it too situation.
The gf has an adult sibling. When the sibling is staying there the mother does the same thing, domineers them til they get PO'd and leave. Then the mother throws a fit complaining no one wants to spend time with her.
She's very difficult to talk to. Maybe in their culture the parents are the boss til the day they die. But that doesn't work here in the US.
Does she get along with the daughter you are dating? You haven't really mentioned that, only that you don't get along with her.
They get along fine. But doesn't impose those child like rules on her.
That's a problem for you then. Your girlfriend probably doesn't view her mother as being unreasonable (or at least not as unreasonable as you see her as being).
As I said, just ignore her when she bosses you around. The danger is that she'll complain to your girlfriend and your GF might be mad at you. That might happen once or twice but it's likely that she'll simply stop after a few times if you disengage.
Actually I think the alternative is to pay half the living expenses, not "some" of them. At this point, the OP has to put up with whatever the homeowner girlfriend deems proper to keep her mother happy. The OP has very few rights here. He didn't marry his gf, and he doesn't seem to be paying for half of the living expenses. I'm feeling a want the cake and eat it too situation.
If we cut the monthly bills down the middle and I would be responsible for paying half of them. I would need to work 2 full time jobs and maybe a part time job in addition. The payments on 2 mortgages are huge. I pay for all the utilities except for cable. I pay my own phone bill. I chip in for grocery shopping.
I do things around the house for free that would cost a small fortune for a "professional" to come in and do. I am fully involved in the maintenance of the property.
*Her mother gets mad if I sleep past 8am on my day off. On a work day I get up at 4am
*If gf and I go out on a date night, her mom will call a few times asking when shes coming home. And if we get in to late she'll have a hissy fit. Btw: we always ask if she wants to join us and she always declines
*I'm accused of being lazy if I'm caught watching tv on my day off.
*she'll throw a hissy fit if we take too long shopping and sending our bills from the post office.
*she waits till the day ofto tell us she needs to go somewhere and we have to put off our plans or again, risk her having another fit.
These are just a few things off the top I can think of.
I do get along with her mother. We do have good times together. But I hope I haven't given myself away that I'm getting PO'd at these childish rules.
If we cut the monthly bills down the middle and I would be responsible for paying half of them. I would need to work 2 full time jobs and maybe a part time job in addition. The payments on 2 mortgages are huge. I pay for all the utilities except for cable. I pay my own phone bill. I chip in for grocery shopping.
Huh? No wonder the mother treats you as she does.
You're basically a freeloader in her eyes. She wants better for her daughter.
You're basically a freeloader in her eyes. She wants better for her daughter.
I think this is the crux of the matter.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
