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You said that this person is a good friend of yours and has called you out previously and it is upsetting to you? So if this is the case in a calm manner can you tell your friend how it makes you feel? What other things has this friend commented on? Why do you think you remain friends with someone who you feel is so critical of you?
You said that you don't chew with your mouth open but on the same note you don't have the best manners? So is there a possibility you may have been chewing with your mouth full and it is something you just need to work on? Though I cant imagine telling someone what your friend did it may be of benefit so you can correct the behavior or be more conscious of it.
Lastly this seems to be really bothering you and if you feel you did not have bad manners then why do you feel so upset?
Hello all! I am a bit confused if what someone did at lunch today was the correct thing to do, so, I am looking for other opinions. I was at lunch today, and someone who I was sitting with made a gesture to me to chew with my mouth closed. I admit that my manners are not perfect, but I always chew with my mouth closed, and must have just slipped up today, like everyone does from time to time. I was a little annoyed, though, and thought it was a little rude. I am also pretty confident I wasn't chomping down on my food either.
I guess what bothered me even more was that the person sitting right next to him was chewing with his mouth open as well, and I see bad manners when I go to lunch with my peers all the time (elbows on the table, eating with hands), and that never gets called out, but I get called out. This person has called me out before, and while he is a very good friend of mine, it does get a little annoying because no one is perfect, and no one should try to act like they are. I guess it just bothers me that someone else is trying to parent me, especially considering that while I occasionally will do something bad-mannered, 99% of the time I am still chewing with my mouth closed.
Has anyone ever done this to you? Do you think this is appropriate?
Actually what your lunch companion did was horribly rude and a breech of normal and acceptable manners.
Unless that person is your parent they were way out of line.
Correcting people is never acceptable.
This individual appears to be on some sort of ego trip. You can do better than this. Friends don't attempt to make other friends feel badly about themselves.
Nasty narcissists do that.
It's a question of degrees. Just about everyone would be grossed out by someone going #2 next to the table. Most people wouldn't care how someone else's napkin was folded. Chewing with one's mouth open isn't nearly as extreme, but it's still something many consider gross.
Commenting about someone else's manners is never good manners. This is true. But wouldn't it be crueler for friends of the OP who are disgusted about the habit to start avoiding him and stop inviting him out to dinner without ever saying why? This was a good friend and he did it silently. It's not like he announced it to the table.
If they are good friends, they wouldn't ditch him and they would not call attention to his faux pas in front of others, in anyway.
So, tell him how much it irritates you...and don't be upset if he quits hanging out with you for meals.
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