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Make sure your parents know what you've heard...so they won't keep helping someone who would behave this way...And so they won't invite this person to their home anymore....Other than that....some quick witted response if the occasion arises...Guess my parents didn't loan you the money you asked for this time.....or something that turns this BS around to the gal...Obviously she is an ingrate...and a user.
Yes, nicely and softly confront her, wait to hear her explaination, if any? Then let her know this is unacceptable behavior and make her understand, how she acts and speaks, even how she reacts, reflects on her whole family....and can either hurt them or make them proud, it is up to her, but right now, what she is doing is wrong...it's ok to do that, it's ok to call someone out on bad behavior, if you don't then you are encouraging it....you and your wife have the tools to stop it...so what if she becomes upset, and whatever you do, do not back your defense by name dropping, if she wants to know how you found out, tell her this, " we won't do that, we won't name drop, that is not the point or what we are discussing here". Discuss this maturely, and nicely, never lose your temper....
BAM, problem solved.
Sorry...In a perfect world. You cannot reason with unreasonable people. But....confronting is likely to be a have to.
And, seriously...sounds like this is not a "relative" that has to be in your business...
I would never put my parents into a situation like this, one of you had to have invited this in law into your social circle with your parents...Un-invite her yesterday...protect your parents
Going to my parents neighbors and telling them that my parents are wealthy snobs that she can't stand.
Neither my spouse nor this woman's husband have any control over her....I don't think there is anything we can do. It just makes my choice in of a family to marry into look bad.
For what it's worth, IMO, it doesn't make your parents look bad. It makes the SIL look bad, petty, and small.
Apparantly, my wife's sister-in-law (brothers wife) has a big mouth and has been trash talking MY parents to their neighbors. Not sure why she is doing this as they haven't done anything to her, and have actually helped her out a few times, but she has a big mouth and usually whatever thought pops in her head also pops out her mouth.
I don't think my parents are offended - but unfortuantely her crassness just really makes my wife and her family look bad.
Just wondering if there is anything I should say or do about this.
A discreet, "Excuse me. But don't talk about my family. That is out of bounds," should do the trick nicely.
My father-in-law is one of those people. He is an arrogant man whose shtick is to criticize everybody on how they keep up their homes, how they spend their money, etc.
My sister hasn't made wise decisions in her life, but it's not as if she's living in an opium den or anything. When my father-in-law started in on her at the dinner table one night, a quick, "Don't you talk about my family that way," put the quietus on that in a hurry. I'm a pretty respectful guy, but I have my limits. I think he was shocked that I spoke to him that sharply.
I don't think my parents are offended - but unfortuantely her crassness just really makes my wife and her family look bad.
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No it doesn't...not to anyone with a mind of their own it doesn't.
Believe me when I say....it just makes HER look bad....not the whole family.
Good people will not judge you negatively (or even judge you at all) by what she says......and if they do?...so what...consider it their loss, not yours.
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