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I thought I was the only one who didn't go to a gravesite.
Right now the people closest to me that are deceased are my grandparents on my mother's side (my dad's parents were both deceased before I was born). My mother goes once or twice a year to visit their gravestones, I went with her once but never went back.
No siblings (dead or alive) and no kids (dead or alive), fortunately both of my parents are still living, my mom has commented about whether or not I will ever visit the gravesite's after? I never gave her a yes or no, but the answer is no.
I don't see a point, they will always be in my thoughts and my heart, as for "talking" I would be perfectly happy/comfortable doing that in my own house or somewhere else I was alone, but I don't need to be at the gravesite to do that.
I believe they will be watching over me and always around where I am.
<just typing this has me almost in tears>
powerful thread
I lost a son and for the longest time felt spiritually numb...questioning my faith. Visiting the grave site will be too painful, final and resigned. I'd rather remember my son as he was and still is in my heart...full of life!
Oh come on.. really? A dumb dinner and that's how you honor your family? You're not that far away from me and I have been to Branson several times.. and you are petrified and classifying scattering someone ashes as as a ritual? All I can say is Wow! Man... I have more respect than that.. personally. I don't visit my parents enough like I should. But I do visit. Sheesh
Can't we at least be a little nicer and a little more forgiving on this subject. No one is telling you how to remember your loved ones, only how that person handles it. You don't know what is in someone's heart, nothing wrong with sharing our views and opinions, but please don't put down others.
Nobody has said they are doing anything illegal or immoral, it's what they are comfortable doing and they are not hurting anyone.
After my mother died my dad said he didn't see any need of us taking him to the cemetery. (They were married over 65 years). He said just the shell she lived in was buried there. She was still with him and he talked to her every day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 30to66at55
Was at a funeral once and saw some ethnic group having a picnic on a deceased's grave. That was strange.
My wife's family cemetery is in a rural area and in a National Recreation Area. Once a year they have their family homecoming at this cemetery. The morning is spent cleaning around the graves and putting new flowers and all the photo albums come out for all the family stories. Just before noon, long tables that have been hauled in a panel truck are set up and the potluck dinner is set up. I have never seen so much food in all my life!
I enjoy going to cemetaries. I have many loved ones' graves to visit, plus there is so much history in cemetaries! I do not see anything wrong with a picnic or homecoming at a cemetary as long as it is done respectfully and all is cleaned up afterwards. God tells us to honor our dead. I think it is a great way to honor the dead by visiting their graves, praying, meditating and reflecting on their lives, as well as our own lives. We should not be fearful, for God is with us always! You do not "have" to go, but I do choose to go when I can.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who doesn't visit family grave sites. My feeling is that my loved one isn't there anyway. It's just an empty vessel buried in the ground.
But I do like walking around the really old cemeteries and reading the headstones.
My grandma died in 2008. Used to visit her site once every year. I stopped since 2011 or so. I think it just hurts to see your loved one down there. I do suffer from depression on a monthly basis (not from her death though) and going to the cemetery just worsens it.
If you have immediate family members who passed away who are buried nearby, how often do you visit the grave? Do you talk to the deceased if there is no one around as you stand by the grave? Do you bring flowers? Do you go by yourself or with family and friends? Or do you never visit because when they are gone, they are gone?
I haven't visited my mother's grave in a very long time. However, I speak to her every single day. She is in my heart and soul. I can still feel her...
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