Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-07-2014, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,841 posts, read 13,254,398 times
Reputation: 9247

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
Not yet. How is your relationship with your family or parents? Don't say it is perfect cause I won't believe you. The only time when a family is happiest is on portrait pictures.
Your question is not about me but my relationship with my family and parents is quite good, thank you . I NEVER would say I'd rather live without them and feel I'd rather spend that money on traveling somewhere else. If you feel you're not that close to your family then don't visit them but if you have a healthy relationship with your mother then visit her. If other people want to see you then they can visit you while you're at your mother's house. I don't know how old your mom is but she won't be here forever. Seattle, or wherever you want to travel to will always be there. Just something to think about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-07-2014, 03:03 PM
 
47 posts, read 79,666 times
Reputation: 78
Hmmm...think of it in this way: you're not just missing holidays with them...they're missing holidays with you. You have always worked around your disadvantages to visit them...and I'm sure they would be willing to do the same for you.

The next time you're talking on the phone, you could say, "I'd like to visit you, but I just don't have the money to do it right now." See how they react - I can almost guarantee that what they say will make your decision that much easier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 05:00 PM
 
1,339 posts, read 3,470,839 times
Reputation: 2236
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle242 View Post
Not yet. How is your relationship with your family or parents? Don't say it is perfect cause I won't believe you. The only time when a family is happiest is on portrait pictures.
Well, then you haven't seen our Thanksgiving pics!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 05:43 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,217,691 times
Reputation: 32727
I would tell most people to take turns, but if your mother doesn't speak English and can't get through the airport alone, then I guess you would have to visit her. You don't have to visit often, but you could at least go for holidays over the summer. The way you ask makes it sound like you have to make this decision now for the rest of your life. Don't make such a big thing out of it. You can visit once/decade or once/year or once/month. It's up to you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,869 posts, read 16,341,075 times
Reputation: 29241
Buy them a cheap laptop set up with Skype. Then make an appointment to see them briefly every week.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 06:51 PM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,923,499 times
Reputation: 2635
Not seeing family is just a fact of life for many of us who have moved around for our jobs. So know that you are not alone. And don't let your guilt get to you. I would love to live closer to my parents and for my boys to see their grandparents more often, but that is life and we make the most of when we do visit. And while my parents would love to live closer, they want us to go out there and succeed and have adventures of our own. I'm sure your parents do, too.

That said, my rule of thumb is that visiting on some kind of regular schedule (and for us and our families, that means once a year for a week) is the responsibility of the party for whom it is easier and cheaper to do so. So in our family, it is cheaper and easier for our parents to visit us, since they have more disposable income, more vacation time built up, and only the two of them. We get home when we can (about every other year). So in your case, it's easier for you to do so. But creating a life without family, not being able to spend every holiday with them, etc., is part of growing up. It will get easier the longer you do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,907,776 times
Reputation: 8318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
Buy them a cheap laptop set up with Skype. Then make an appointment to see them briefly every week.

Macbook and Facetime is the best.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-07-2014, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,227,390 times
Reputation: 50807
Well, I agree that if the OP visits family, he should indeed visit family. They surely miss him, and would be unhappy if he came and then spent little time with them.

If they are begging you to visit, then I'd decide when it was convenient, and do so. You don't have to stay too long. But give your mom and sister some of your attention. Later, when you have found a better place to live, maybe they can visit you.

If you earn, say, two weeks vacation, then use one week for family, and another for another trip somewhere else. And, how did you do on your own for the holidays? Was that OK? Or did you get a bit lonesome for family?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-08-2014, 01:01 AM
 
525 posts, read 817,059 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
And, how did you do on your own for the holidays? Was that OK? Or did you get a bit lonesome for family?
No, I was required to work holidays. In my work culture most have to work all holidays in year (including Christmas).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-08-2014, 01:28 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,947 times
Reputation: 15
I left my family are age 23 and never lived there again. I did most of the traveling, until I had a full life. I kept up with my mom, mainly by phone. There were Those family and friends that never phoned me, so it was one sided, I let them drop out of my life. A person changes as they move away from "home". It is not a bad thing. You may find you do not have much in common with old high schools friends also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:47 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top