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Not yet. How is your relationship with your family or parents? Don't say it is perfect cause I won't believe you. The only time when a family is happiest is on portrait pictures.
Your question is not about me but my relationship with my family and parents is quite good, thank you . I NEVER would say I'd rather live without them and feel I'd rather spend that money on traveling somewhere else. If you feel you're not that close to your family then don't visit them but if you have a healthy relationship with your mother then visit her. If other people want to see you then they can visit you while you're at your mother's house. I don't know how old your mom is but she won't be here forever. Seattle, or wherever you want to travel to will always be there. Just something to think about.
Hmmm...think of it in this way: you're not just missing holidays with them...they're missing holidays with you. You have always worked around your disadvantages to visit them...and I'm sure they would be willing to do the same for you.
The next time you're talking on the phone, you could say, "I'd like to visit you, but I just don't have the money to do it right now." See how they react - I can almost guarantee that what they say will make your decision that much easier.
Not yet. How is your relationship with your family or parents? Don't say it is perfect cause I won't believe you. The only time when a family is happiest is on portrait pictures.
Well, then you haven't seen our Thanksgiving pics!!
I would tell most people to take turns, but if your mother doesn't speak English and can't get through the airport alone, then I guess you would have to visit her. You don't have to visit often, but you could at least go for holidays over the summer. The way you ask makes it sound like you have to make this decision now for the rest of your life. Don't make such a big thing out of it. You can visit once/decade or once/year or once/month. It's up to you.
Not seeing family is just a fact of life for many of us who have moved around for our jobs. So know that you are not alone. And don't let your guilt get to you. I would love to live closer to my parents and for my boys to see their grandparents more often, but that is life and we make the most of when we do visit. And while my parents would love to live closer, they want us to go out there and succeed and have adventures of our own. I'm sure your parents do, too.
That said, my rule of thumb is that visiting on some kind of regular schedule (and for us and our families, that means once a year for a week) is the responsibility of the party for whom it is easier and cheaper to do so. So in our family, it is cheaper and easier for our parents to visit us, since they have more disposable income, more vacation time built up, and only the two of them. We get home when we can (about every other year). So in your case, it's easier for you to do so. But creating a life without family, not being able to spend every holiday with them, etc., is part of growing up. It will get easier the longer you do it.
Well, I agree that if the OP visits family, he should indeed visit family. They surely miss him, and would be unhappy if he came and then spent little time with them.
If they are begging you to visit, then I'd decide when it was convenient, and do so. You don't have to stay too long. But give your mom and sister some of your attention. Later, when you have found a better place to live, maybe they can visit you.
If you earn, say, two weeks vacation, then use one week for family, and another for another trip somewhere else. And, how did you do on your own for the holidays? Was that OK? Or did you get a bit lonesome for family?
I left my family are age 23 and never lived there again. I did most of the traveling, until I had a full life. I kept up with my mom, mainly by phone. There were Those family and friends that never phoned me, so it was one sided, I let them drop out of my life. A person changes as they move away from "home". It is not a bad thing. You may find you do not have much in common with old high schools friends also.
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