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If you really must accept his invitations, make an appearance, then leave. Don't give him any info he doesn't need. Don't give him your recipes. If he is retired he will probably become irrelevant in your work life, if he isn't already.
I don't now how to deal with my MIL. My husband just blows off her behavior. She lives out of state and we don't talk to her much. She comes to visit once or twice/year and I am left bewildered at her behavior when it is over. We keep the conversation light and shallow. We can be friendly, but I'm left speechless sometimes when she says some of the things she says. I've limited what she can see on facebook without unfriending her completely. I hid her so I don't have her posts popping up every time I look. She fishes for compliments and sympathy and we just won't play her game, so we just don't communicate much. It is pretty dysfunctional, but I don't know what else to do. At least you aren't related to your former boss!
yeah, I agree, I don't know that I could be as nice as you are....God Love ya....
Even when he was my boss, we'd lock horns...believe me....
but, one thing he doesn't do, is fish for sympathy, he was never like that....and I must accept his invitations and make an appearance as you say....for now anyway, but perhaps that to will fizzel out....
He is so childlike, at time, and there are good things about him...he is not totally lost, but sometimes hard to take...
I just wonder how someone becomes so completely oblivious to how he sounds? Like it is acceptable behavior...I mean, sometimes people gasp out loud...lol....
he just doesn't seem to get it....bewildered is a very good way to describe it....
Yes, I'm glad for you, that she lives out of town....thank goodness...
I've never been able to figure out, why my old boss has such an obsession to not only brag, but be the best at everything? He always has to go over and above the norm? Here are some examples....
1. Ok, we had a soup cook off at work...I won, he didn't, and was very upset that I won...so he asks me for my recipe...I really didn't have one, but tried very hard to give him what I do...he comes to work the following weekend and sends out an email to everyone, I changed Creme's Recipe...here it is...????? I was so angry and hurt?
2. At Christmas Time, he always goes way above and beyond Christmas Decorating...I mean, it takes him 6 months to set everything up???? Then he invites everyone over for a party...to show off....and then plays the piano and makes every one sing, (always bragging about playing the piano) then when he wants everyone to leave, he gets their coats and starts handing them out.
3. He brags about being a cook, but asks me the stupidest questions about cooking? Then brags about what he's made, and calls it HIS recipe, and all he does is find a recipe on line, then tells everyone he changes an ingrediant, to make it his recipe????
4. He actually tells people, that the things he made are museum quality?
5. If he shares a recipe, for instance, a cake, he'll make it 3 pages long and start off by saying, you have to mix the ingrediants in your Kitchenaide mixer, as if, no one else has one.
6. One time he had the nerve to say, "My shore house is the most beautiful shore house down there". ?????? My God, it certainly is not, I mean, it is pretty, but certainly there are others much more extravegant....??????
7. He feeds off of gossip and needs his ego constantly fed? He has to be the first one, with gossip and spent most of his time on the telephone trying to find out information about others.
8. I've had people who used to work with him and for him ask me, "how can you stand working for him?" It's emabarrassing, b/c he filters NOTHING!!!!! He just blurts things out...
I mean, he really bothers me, others just laugh at him....but I worked the closest with him, and he was soooo very hard to work with and for...sometimes I'd be really embarrassed...and one thing he'd never do was listen to you or your stories...whenever he repeated a story, he always told it wrong...?
So, he retired, thank God, and yet, he still finds the need to write me and brag....
and if you google his recipes, you see he got them off the internet? I mean, I'm so glad I'm not working with him, but I have the desire to not contact him any longer. He just doesn't have the concept to realize, that just b/c others do not think and feel the way he does, doesn't make them wrong...and how in the world did he become a boss? I feel very sorry for his family....
Anyway, what makes a person go above and beyond the norm for attention like this? He is so self absorbed?????
His position was, a normal boss, but when you heard him, he ran the company, he built this, he did that...one time, he took a power point presentation, that he didn't know that I did, and sent it to me to print...It was mine? He had apparently downloaded it years ago, and didn't know who created it...so I told him, it was mine......I mean, he did stuff like this all the time. I don't believe anything he has ever done, has been his own idea.
I told him I was making my formal living room into a formal dinning room, so he goes and does it...??????? No biggy, a lot of people have done this, but he always copies others....
and he constantly exaggerates everything? What makes a person like this? Doesn't he realize how absolutely ignorant he sounds?
I'd appreciate your feedback...I tried for years to not let this bother me...years...13 to be exact...and I'm so glad he is gone...and yet
there is a loveable side of him...he is like a child sometimes....he plays dumb but he is not....
Why do you care? You lost me at "old boss". You're getting upset and angry over him changing a recipe you admitted at first that you didn't really even have, then you backtracked and said it was your grandmother's.
I think you might have too much time on your hands if you are living in the past about this. Either that or you've got the hots for him, since you're still in contact with the guy. The whole situation is strange to me.
Just cut him off if you don't like him. Period. He is retired. He is no longer a work associate.
Oh nevermind. I see you are "one of those" that only likes answers you actually want to hear. And to think I just responded to your other post about why people argue on & on. See, the reason people argue on & on WITH YOU is because you only want to hear what you want to hear, and that frustrates some people. That means there is no right or wrong except that you are always right. And like I said in that post, I will ignore you from now on because of the above.
@@<-- rolls eyes
Last edited by convextech; 03-10-2014 at 11:19 AM..
Classic personality disorder. You'll never "figure him out" and it sounds like he's in your life one way or another so just keep dealing with it as you have been, knowing that it's "him", not you.
ok, folks, I'm looking for people to join into this thread and tell me why they think people act like this?
Not judge me for posting this thread....
So, please, if you cannot answer what makes someone like this, then please move on and ignore the thread...I'd like to see some constructive perceptions on what makes a human being want to be so competitive....
And why do you think he is always in contact with me still?
he used to ask me for advice, but he stopped doing that, b/c he knows I'll be honest with him and tell him what he doesn't want to hear...
I don't get that....?
Personally I think he is extremely insecure, more then narcissistic, but I don't know...
and
he has some very likeable, and everyone also says that about him...
Classic personality disorder. You'll never "figure him out" and it sounds like he's in your life one way or another so just keep dealing with it as you have been, knowing that it's "him", not you.
He definately has delusions of importance and gradeau...
everything is bigger and better then everyone else....he thinks and believes he is the best at this or that...
sad....really....
I didn't believe he was narcissistic, however, as in everything else, there are different cases and different levels...
thank you
now, if you have something you'd like to offer as to why a person is like this, I welcome your comment...b/c for years, I've been wondering how does a person get like this? Is this learned behavior, it is narcissistic behavior, what is it....?
Since you don't want relationship advice, you might consider posting this in the psychology forum.
Since you don't want relationship advice, you might consider posting this in the psychology forum.
I would like relationship advice, and I did consider posting this in the psyc forum, however, I didn't b/c I thought it might take off as a great relationship question...
Its not that I don't want advice, but there is a nice way to respond and a aloof and condiscending way to respond...social skills yanno?
when you put down people for their thoughts and feelings, it is basically rude, and uncaring....
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