Neighbor Harassment Since Moving Here - Caught Him Spraying Something On My Door, Balcony Today (retired, money)

[NeighborProblems]

Editing to add: Before I go any further, forgot to mention that the male cop knew a lady over here. While the female cop was talking to the neighbor, the male cop walked off to the side to speak to an older lady he knew. Not sure of their connection, but he's been on this property quite a bit from what he was telling me. He knew some random tenant, plus he told me that the apartment lady don't play, so make sure I report it to her.

They ended up reporting it first to her, so by the conversation her and I had later, I can only imagine she fed them that crap about how he had a tragic story and he's so great, yada, yada. Which makes me look like the new bad troublemaker even though I am being harassed.

The apartment lady also said her son called her about the incident, because he's an officer, too. So, for all I know, all these people may know each other and the male officer might have even known the neighbor and just played it off. It's the biggest mess I have ever had to deal with!!!

Before the editing...

Hello, yes, that what I said earlier. I thought the cops would have someone to investigate exactly what he sprayed, but they didn't. The male cop cracked a joke, "Now, was he spraying water?" This was after telling him about me getting sick as if I was exaggerating.

I understand you all's frustrations with me, please believe me I DO, but please be patient. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with no one or nowhere to turn to.

The cops didn't have anyone test anything as I assumed they would. They took it as a crush seeking attention.

My mother's name was the only one on the lease, so that's a huge issue--even though she told them from jump her daughter would be staying here. So, the apartment lady said she could have had me arrested since I wasn't on the lease. She said I could sign and pay my deposit when I get paid, so legally, even if his spray is messing with my health, I'm not on the lease yet to make any complaints. The apartment manager said it's perfectly legal for him to spray, who cares if it's getting me sick. Also, she made it clear that I better not call any outside people regarding these issues--only her even though she's 100% for him.

This brings me to the biggest issue. We don't have family out here to go to if I take things further and we get evicted. My mother is extremely the pushover type, please no drama, get extremely angry at me because my issue becomes her issue.

I haven't been to sleep, because when I lay down my body starts twitching and I feel worst. PLEASE, PLEASE understand that I truly appreciate you all help, I am slowly taking the advice as courage builds up, but it's hard because all of the conflicts. I've been reading you all's advice with eyes filled with tears and I feel so confused and helpless right now in the real world because the apartment lady will most likely kick us out if I go outside of her again, my mother will get highly pissed--it's just a mess.

PLEASE, PLEASE, if nothing else, know that I appreciate you all and that I am SERIOUS, this is NOT a joke. I'm not emotionally stable right now, I am a mess. I know what I need to do, but terrified of the outcome that will come with it. omg!

Originally Posted by Albert_The_Crocodile

And if he's spraying it on your air vents, it can be tested. If your local police are truly as dense and uninterested in doing their jobs as your landlady is, call your local fire department and the county board of health. Get someone over there to test what is sprayed on your air vents. I'm just dumfounded that you seem to not care about this at all - if what you say is true, you have been poisoned, and you don't seem the least bit interested in knowing what it is that poisoned you. I'm just literally shaking my head in amazement over that.

[STT Resident]

It sounds as though you're having anxiety issues. You need to go to a doctor.

[zentropa]

What is your mother's opinion of all of this? It seems to be missing from the story.

[nathan69]

Put a lock on your patio gate.He was trespassing. Tell landlord,file police report.Call the CDC-could be a life threatening
poison. Since you're women and can't whip his ass, find someone who will.Even if you have to pay a little $$ it'll be worth
it.If the landlord won't do anything,threaten to take them to court.An attorney will tell you the charges to file. The ass
kickin' is a last resort,but 9 out of 10 times WILL stop the harrassment.

[luv4horses]

Are you of a different ethnic group than the neighbor? He may have a predisposition to not like your culture, which puts his actions on a different level.

I suggest he may be spraying something like Raid insecticide or a wasp killer. Both smell awful but should not injure you. None the less you should not be breathing this at high concentrations.

Also, he may resent the fact that you are at home during the day as he might normally be conducting some sort of 'business' during those hours and you are interfering. That means nothing you do on your own will help. Just a couple of thoughts.

[ellenrr]

altho I agree they should be called, and there should be a record.

yesterday I went upstairs to ask the tenant over me if they could be a bit less noisy.
I was polite and not angry, bec. the problem is there is no insulation between their floor and my ceiling.

Usually when it is extremely noisy, it is the son and his friends. They have gotten exuberant, and when I remind them that it is very noisy to me, they are very kind and cooperative, to lower the volume.

so yesterday I thot this was the situation, and when I knocked on the door, it turned out to be the father. Had i known it was him, I wouldn't even have knocked, bec. I know him to be a crazy individual. I would have just borne it (I'm moving this month) or left the apt.

But since I had knocked I politely asked him if he could be a little less noisy. He doesn't speak a word of English (Chinese) so his nephew translated.
well this fool started screaming, and advancing on me with something in his hand. I don't know what, something metal, I obviously was not going to examine it closely.

i took off back to my apt and called police.
Idiots!
they said it was "he said, she said". Like I couldn't prove what happened. The boy who was there lied about it. One cop said, "This seems like a nice building with nice people in it". what an asinine thing to say.
The cops said there was no evidence. It seems I'd have to have blood or bruises in order to press charges.
so I wrote a letter to the chief of police and the newspaper, this is part of what I said:
"so my take-away is:
if I encounter this devil again, I must be prepared to defend myself, whatever it takes to do that, because the police, who are supposed to enforce the law, are useless.
These two cops were patronizing, condescending, insulting, ineffectual, and clueless.
Should a similar situation arise, I would never call the police again, I will deal with situation however I must to protect myself.
Evidently, the police advocate a return to the law of the jungle."

==

I agree, to the OP - move - there is no way living with someone like this as a neighbor will have a good ending.

Originally Posted by STT Resident

Unfortunately there's often no rhyme or reason to such behavior and I'm sorry you have to deal with such unpleasantness. Likely the police will have a chat with him and advise him to leave you alone and tell you likewise to simply ignore him but of course if he persists then call them again - and let your landlord know too if you haven't done so already. Ask the police to please write a report and get a copy of it - it'll cost you a couple of $$s but it's best to document everything in case things escalate (which hopefully they won't).

Sounds as though he's the big neighborhood bully who doesn't like anyone other than his own kind.

[STT Resident]

Originally Posted by ellenrr

I agree, to the OP - move - there is no way living with someone like this as a neighbor will have a good ending.

The police were called, have been and gone and the OP has decided to move.

[Tcoma11]

Go buy a firearm. That'll make you feel at ease. Maybe put an NRA sticker on your bedroom window.

Then just wear earplug or headphones for the next few months. Buy an air purifier from costco and use it ( then return it when you move since costco has an unlimited return policy) No biggie.

[rbohm]

Originally Posted by NeighborProblems

I am going, but just wondering... do you or anyone you know have any experience with inhaling chemicals? It's 4am where I am, this happened at 10am, so I am wondering how long is it good for? Like would the doctors still be able to find out anything after so many hours?

that depends on the chemical he was spraying. some have a very short half life and can dissipate quickly. others can linger for long periods of time. if it is a bug spray, the chemicals will stay for a long time, and in low concentrations most people have no problem with them. you might be allergic to to it though. that is one reason why you need to see a doctor about your reaction to them so that in the future if something happens and you breath these chemicals in again, and have a more severe reaction, you can take steps to counteract them.

as for your anxiety, the first thing you need to do is learn to relax. this doesnt mean dont ignore everything, you always want to be aware of what is going on around you, but you do need to calm yourself and learn to "go with the flow". when your mind is calm, you can navigate lifes problems more easily.

Originally Posted by Tcoma11

Go buy a firearm. That'll make you feel at ease. Maybe put an NRA sticker on your bedroom window.

Then just wear earplug or headphones for the next few months. Buy an air purifier from costco and use it ( then return it when you move since costco has an unlimited return policy) No biggie.

i thought hard about giving her that advice, but i rejected it because i dont know where she lives, and as such i dont know the gun laws there, and two she can get into real trouble if she brandishes a firearm in a confrontation with her neighbor, and three some landlords dont allow them in their apartment buildings and it is grounds for eviction.

[beera]

OP that lady is lying, she can't have you arrested for living with your mom, even if you aren't on the lease, worst they can do is start an eviction process. Don't sign a lease cuz they'll lock you in at least another year. When it's up, you and your mom leave. They sound too lazy to go through an eviction process anyways.

Also, I am a little surprised the police didn't ask to see what he sprayed, I'm pretty sure since you said black top it's bug spray.