new friends over 35 (person, personality, conversation)

[mkwensky]

A question for those of you (esp. guys) who managed to build a new circle of friends after the age of 35 in a new city - how did you do it? how long did it take you?

[JrzDefector]

I moved to Denver at 34. I had one "anchor friend" in the city and through her I met several people who are now close friends. I joined a meetup group that fit my personality and met a few more people. I met a couple people on City-Data. I ran into another woman at a concert and we hit it off. I took some classes in dog sports and met a few more people. I struck up a conversation on a plane and made another couple of friends.

I was never a typical extrovert, but I left behind a large group of friends in my previous state. I wanted to have the same in my new home, so I basically seized on every opportunity that I could to connect with other people.

I would say joining an established Meetup group is a good first step. Join a league team maybe. Getting involved in an activity like some kind of dog sport is also good if you have a dog - those folks are very social. If I had more time on my hands, I would take a part-time job doing something I enjoyed - that's how I met my core group of friends in my home state back in my 20s. Now I make friends regularly by reaching out to friends of friends. If I hit it off with someone I meet through another friend, I usually friend them on facebook and invite them the next time I do something with a group that they might be interested in.

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by mkwensky

A question for those of you (esp. guys) who managed to build a new circle of friends after the age of 35 in a new city - how did you do it? how long did it take you?

Can shorten this process substantially:

Men associate with one another primarily on commons interests, which may or may not include career stuff too.

All my pals, to a man, were met via grad school, motorcycling, or my line of work (which is also a hobby, aka an interest. No one lasts here unless they live and breathe information technology.)

If Meetup is the best way to do that, great. Helped that I had expert licenses in a couple of my interests, and instructed/tutored some of it. Former students are now friends, as well as peers. Doesn't matter what city; that would be the process I'd undertake in any new town.