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I belong to my local chapter of a mom's club (we're an official non-profit organization all over the nation) and about a year ago a new mom was interested in joining the group. We were really excited as we are a very small group (at the time there were only 6 of us) and were wanting to expand and meet some new mother's and their kids. This particular mother came to one of our monthly meeting's and then attended one of our "mom's night out" dinners. She officially joined the group and then after that we heard NOTHING from her unless she was cancelling out on play dates, which she only did about 3 times, tops. The other times we heard from her were when she wanted to organize our group to donate to a few charities- once late last year and one this past month.
Now, our group is required to do one "service project" per year and that can basically entail anything- walking for a cause, donating to a charity, etc. For example, last Halloween we took our kids to one of the local senior homes in town and trick or treated there and it was very sweet and touching, as all of the seniors were so excited to see the kids all dressed up looking adorable. Anyway. So this mother (I'll call her L) asked us last year if we wanted to also donate to the Ronald McDonald house. I personally did not participate in it because I had already donated a lot of things to a more local charity that I have come to really like, but the other ladies in the group did participate in it and spent decent to very generous amounts of money. L had asked that all of the donations be dropped off at her house and then she would take them to the RM House herself. Only one mother in our group actually spent the time to drive 45 minutes away to drop the things she was donating off at the RM House while the other ones just dropped them off at L's house.
After that charity fundraiser, none of heard a word from L until a month or so ago with her asking if we wanted to participate in donating to another charity. Our president told us about it (at our monthly meeting that L was not at, of course) and we all agreed that L was going to have to completely organize it herself and contact all of us directly and let us know the specifics- we've been pissed that the only time this chick shows up is to ask us for money or donations. L emailed us a list of what the charity was asking for, such as school supplies and clothing, and gave the option of "adopting" a child and fulfilling that child's wishlist. I chose to just donate school supplies and dropped them off at L's house last week. I asked her if she was ever going to come around and participate in the group and she gave me some lame a%& excuse about how when she joined she was all gung-ho and then her kids got sick and now they're just so busy, blah blah.
Anyway, to make a long story short, our president texted L a few days ago and asked her how the drop off went with the charity; L told her that it went well and then in the next breath told our president that she was quitting the group and did not give a reason. We are very angry that she would just up and leave without any sort of explanation, especially since the majority of us spent time and money giving to the charities that she asked us to donate to in the name of our club. Now we're wondering if L ever gave our club any sort of credit at all. We're all for being altruistic and enjoy giving back when and what we can- what we don't like is being screwed over by someone whom is coming off as such a "giving" person when in fact it looks like she was just using us to further her own agenda. L home school's her kids and we're all thinking that she used us in order to give to the charities that her home school program does.
What do you all think? Did we get scammed? We're pissed!
I belong to my local chapter of a mom's club (we're an official non-profit organization all over the nation)
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Now we're wondering if L ever gave our club any sort of credit at all. We're all for being altruistic and enjoy giving back when and what we can- what we don't like is being screwed over by someone whom is coming off as such a "giving" person when in fact it looks like she was just using us to further her own agenda. L home school's her kids and we're all thinking that she used us in order to give to the charities that her home school program does.
What do you all think? Did we get scammed? We're pissed!
I'd distance myself from any group that indulges in all this drama. Life's too short.
As an "official non-profit", i.e. 501c3, organization, your group of moms has stringent reporting and fiduciary obligations. That you're pissed or think you were screwed over or used doesn't matter. What's important is that they handle this professionally and in accordance with all laws and regulations, and account for all funds received and disbursed. And investigate and reconcile any discrepancies. It's not clear from your post if they did so or not.
We all have our own receipts from the things that we purchased but we haven't received anything from the charity that we donated to. I am going to be calling the charity tomorrow and asking for documentation from them to verify that the items that we donated were indeed received and that it was done in our club's name, not L's or her home school.
We all have our own receipts from the things that we purchased but we haven't received anything from the charity that we donated to. I am going to be calling the charity tomorrow and asking for documentation from them to verify that the items that we donated were indeed received and that it was done in our club's name, not L's or her home school.
That's how you do it, keep a cool head and remember what goes around, comes around.
Back in the day, i.e. the 1980s, I was a member of MOMs, mothers of multiples. Don't know if this is your group but my initial reaction to your post, as a mother of twins, was ~how the heck do they have time for all this drama?~
The mothers of twins, triplets, and quads that I knew back then sure didn't. It was all we could do to convince our husbands or someone else to care for our multiples so we could show up for meetings.
did L take those donations and then keep it? that is what it sounds like. like she took the donations and you don't know if it actually left the house.
You would have to find out of Ronald McDonald house did get the stuff. if they did receive it, it should be documented.
But since your instincts are flaring and you are sensing something is wrong, then that to me is the answer. better go follow up to see if actual donations were actually received by the charity.
if not, then that is proof you were right.. and then immediately you must create a new procedure so that donations are not handled this way at all.
Basically to keep from getting scammed, you have to do what they do in accounting, you never give one person sole access to the thing (donations or whatever) and you have two or three people have to account to each other so that no secret hiding or scamming can happen. you don't give one person access to something important like donations, especially if they are being secretive, etc.
Your group needs to get those receipts from L for the charities that she allegedly donated to for your group's reporting requirements. If she can't produce the receipts for your group then you need to contact local law enforcement for potential embezzlement charges. Ask for help from your parent organization if you run into trouble.
Years ago I was the president of a home owners association, mainly because no one else wanted to do it and the office was in disarray. I held that position for 4 years, cleaned things up with the help of a few others and then we moved. The last year that I held the post a newcomer to the neighborhood (a woman) joined the board and was excited to run for office. Seemed weird to me but whatever. About a year after we moved I got a call from the HOA treasurer looking for advice. Seems that the new president (the new woman) had gotten ahold of the HOA's checkbook (which was the domain of the treasurer and each draft needed two signatures) and had over the period between statements (4 months) written over 100K worth of checks. The new president ended up in jail and was ordered restitution but that put the HOA in a tough position having essentially had their funds drained.
The preponderance of embezzlers are female, normally young to middle aged females. Get your issue fixed and be sure that there is oversight and immediate reporting in the form of letterhead receipts for any funds or goods collected by your group. If your group lacks the will to do this, disband and form a social type of organization. Good luck.
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That's how you do it, keep a cool head and remember what goes around, comes around.
