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My family always says mean things about my husband. They think he mistreats my 2 daughters , they make little comments, they don't even speak to him when we attend family functions. My dad isn't cordial with him. What should I do? He doesn't like to go around them because they don't treat him well
If they treat him rudely, he shouldn't go around them. At all.
And (assuming here there's no truth in their accusations) you should inform your family that you'll cut ties with them if they continue to say false things about your husband. Then follow through. Your daughters shouldn't be around people who are badmouthing their father.
I'm going to assume that your family's opinion is skewed and your husband is a good husband and father.
Let the family know that you and your family will not be coming around until they can act civil to your husband. They don't have to like him but they should at least be civil to him.
"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. I'm uncomfortable with, and do not care for, how Jim is treated by family members, so we'll be spending the holidays at home. We'll start to visit again when everyone stops insulting Jim and can be civil."
He is my daughter's step dad. We have a son together. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and my 2 daughters are from a previous marriage. My dad will watch my son but he says he is wild but he is a normal boy. He offered to take my cousin's sons to a trainshow and refuses to take mine. I don't understand the problem he has with him.
"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. I'm uncomfortable with, and do not care for, how Jim is treated by family members, so we'll be spending the holidays at home. We'll start to visit again when everyone stops insulting Jim and can be civil."
Well said.
Have you ever sat down with them to discuss this?
He is my daughter's step dad. We have a son together. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and my 2 daughters are from a previous marriage. My dad will watch my son but he says he is wild but he is a normal boy. He offered to take my cousin's sons to a trainshow and refuses to take mine. I don't understand the problem he has with him.
So is this about unfair treatment of your husband or your son? Both?
It could be that your father can handle only one rambunctious little boy when on an outing. If your father favors other children over your son, then my advice in post#3 still stands.
I'm going to assume that your family's opinion is skewed and your husband is a good husband and father.
Let the family know that you and your family will not be coming around until they can act civil to your husband. They don't have to like him but they should at least be civil to him.
"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. I'm uncomfortable with, and do not care for, how Jim is treated by family members, so we'll be spending the holidays at home. We'll start to visit again when everyone stops insulting Jim and can be civil."
^This. They are not going to stop treating him this way until you both present a unified front against it and make it clear you will not put up with it anymore. If they want to be a part of your life and their grandchildren's lives, they need to start acting like adults and be polite to the father of their grandchildren.
Granted, I am taking your words at face value here - without knowing more about the situation, it's difficult to say what the answer is. Maybe your parents have some value complaints - but even so, they should either sit down with you and your husband and have an adult discussion about it or keep their mouths shut. There is no need for this passive-aggressive behavior.
He says my husband is a no load----he has been laid off of jobs several times. They think that he is leeching off of me for money. He is working now. A few Christmas's ago he and mom got into a verbal altercation because my sister got mad that my son was not wearing the shirt she got him and she ran and told my mom.
They say he is mean to my kids, he does not physically discipline them or discipline them at all
My family always says mean things about my husband. They think he mistreats my 2 daughters , they make little comments, they don't even speak to him when we attend family functions. My dad isn't cordial with him. What should I do? He doesn't like to go around them because they don't treat him well
Is there any special reason for them to not like your husband?
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