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I went to my sister's for Turkey Day, and all went great. But there is a noticeable void felt. It was myself, my sister and brother, and my nephew (my sister's son). Our parents are deceased, my brother and sister are approaching 60; I'm in my early 50s; my nephew is now 40; my own daughter (married) now approaching her late 20s. Anyway, I had a good time, but can't help but to feel something which bothers me: There's not many of us left! Although it's been years, it seems like yesterday that we had our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles...and now all of our elders are gone! I understand that nothing lasts forever, but it seems as if my family's becoming fewer and fewer! Kinda depresses me...
That's when you really notice how fast time goes by. Every holiday I think of when the entire family was together and its been decades. Back when it was grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins it seemed more like a holiday. I think the last time was about 1970. 44 years and it seems like 10.
My holidays are still good but nothing compared to back then.
I understand that nothing lasts forever, but it seems as if my family's becoming fewer and fewer! Kinda depresses me...
Maybe it's time to come up with a new tradition? We don't live near family, so it's just been three of us since my son was born. We are invited to friends, but even they are inconsistent about their holiday plans. A few years ago, we ditched the tradition. Now we make Thanksgiving dinner the day before, and get out of the house and go for a drive on Thanksgiving day. I really like it a lot, and we don't feel like we're missing out on a big family gathering.
Maybe try going out to dinner instead of cooking. Or maybe go on an outing. We drove into San Francisco today. I was a little surprised to see all the city tour buses filled with people. The Golden Gate bridge was packed with people walking or biking across it. We have friends who go to Disneyland (they're open today). Of course, this is California and I don't know where you live. But you might be surprised to see how many people in your area break from tradition and don't sit down for a big meal.
Believe me, it really makes a difference. There were years when it was just me, hubby and our son sitting down on Thanksgiving day, and it was depressing. Especially knowing all my family was gathering in my home state (hubby is in sales and we can't travel over the holiday). Creating a brand new tradition made a huge difference.
That's when you really notice how fast time goes by. Every holiday I think of when the entire family was together and its been decades. Back when it was grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins it seemed more like a holiday. I think the last time was about 1970. 44 years and it seems like 10.
My holidays are still good but nothing compared to back then.
Every family of modest to large size seems to have a heyday for a particular generation. Say, a group of 3-6 siblings. Their spouses, and kids (when young) can make for merry gatherings.
My parent's generational heyday was about 1975 for all that, when they were mostly mid-40s. By the 1980s us kids were older, snotty little know-it-alls with other stuff to do than play with toys and amuse adults. Our toys by then were video games, consoles were new (and primitive) and full-size arcades in bloom. So we took off vs. annoy the adults. To the chagrin, yet relief, of the parents...
But for maybe 7 years there in the 1970s, we had great parties at Thanksgiving (someone else's house) and Christmas Eve (our house). Liquor and merriment flowed; we're Irish and sure know how to tie one on. Very few bad things or disagreements happened at these events, which is a bit lucky: no bad apples in the family tree I can recall. We were well-mannered little kids, back in the day when smarting off to an adult meant a swift kick right in the boot. After just a few of those, we kids wised up and kept our place. These days, you'd have the ACLU filing suit.
Yeah, those days are dead and buried, literally or it just wore itself down via time, distance, and indifference. Had I married, and/or had any use for people, and/or had any siblings, between ten years ago and now would by the numbers be my "heyday" since my peer's kids are all between c. 5 and 18 years old. I've made my choices, become at-peace with the outcomes, and keep it all pretty quiet and don't miss much overall. Still, good memories.
I went to my sister's for Turkey Day, and all went great. But there is a noticeable void felt. It was myself, my sister and brother, and my nephew (my sister's son). Our parents are deceased, my brother and sister are approaching 60; I'm in my early 50s; my nephew is now 40; my own daughter (married) now approaching her late 20s. Anyway, I had a good time, but can't help but to feel something which bothers me: There's not many of us left! Although it's been years, it seems like yesterday that we had our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles...and now all of our elders are gone! I understand that nothing lasts forever, but it seems as if my family's becoming fewer and fewer! Kinda depresses me...
It sounds like you had a nice quiet & meaningful Thanksgiving, with lots of gratitude for those who you are missing.
Mine was just the opposite. Hectic pandemonium! While my Mom passed away this past year, all three of my children, their spouses & their kiddos gathered around my table & spent the night. It was wonderful and I am grateful that life continues in such an amazing way.
I went to my sister's for Turkey Day, and all went great. But there is a noticeable void felt. It was myself, my sister and brother, and my nephew (my sister's son). Our parents are deceased, my brother and sister are approaching 60; I'm in my early 50s; my nephew is now 40; my own daughter (married) now approaching her late 20s. Anyway, I had a good time, but can't help but to feel something which bothers me: There's not many of us left! Although it's been years, it seems like yesterday that we had our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles...and now all of our elders are gone! I understand that nothing lasts forever, but it seems as if my family's becoming fewer and fewer! Kinda depresses me...
I feel ya.
My parents and sister have passed as well as grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles. My brother and his family spend thanksgiving with his wife's family. There aren't any little ones anymore. While it was a nice day and I enjoyed being with a few of my family members it is just not the same.
So I try to count my blessings. My grandkids are living with me now so no ex DIL to deal with over dinner plans. I'm divorced so no going to his family dinner where everyone is 110 yrs. old complaining about their pains and watching TV and calling each other mother, daddy, sis and bub.
My mom's side of the family is getting to be the same way. She is one of two children, so it was never a very large gathering to begin with. Both of my grandparents have now passed on (grandma died last summer). My mom does have an aunt and uncle who are both still alive and now in their early 90's...due to health issues, however, they will not be attending family Christmas this year. Their daughter also will not be attending. So the family gathering is slowly dwindling down. Sad, but that's the reality of life.
Yes I understand. Our family is aging and the kids are grown and are everywhere now so we just pack it up for the southern beach for Thanksgiving which is a new tradition. Like others have said, cherish the times while you have them.
I went to my sister's for Turkey Day, and all went great. But there is a noticeable void felt. It was myself, my sister and brother, and my nephew (my sister's son). Our parents are deceased, my brother and sister are approaching 60; I'm in my early 50s; my nephew is now 40; my own daughter (married) now approaching her late 20s. Anyway, I had a good time, but can't help but to feel something which bothers me: There's not many of us left! Although it's been years, it seems like yesterday that we had our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles...and now all of our elders are gone! I understand that nothing lasts forever, but it seems as if my family's becoming fewer and fewer! Kinda depresses me...
I know exactly what you're saying. I really miss the days when my grandparents were still around and we tried to make it home for every single holiday. No matter where we lived and my dad's sisters did the same. I miss the days of having the aunts, uncles and cousins all together and having good times. Over the years everyone has gravitated more and more to their own family units and I can see why. WE are in the same position as our grandparents were 'back then' but our families are pretty much more spread out than we were. My grandkids have formed their own family units, established their own holiday traditions and they don't always include us. They do include their siblings, nieces and nephews. It does sometimes make me sad that we seem to have lost that family cohesiveness and closeness but I know that I could show up on ANY cousin's doorstep and be instantly welcomed and loved, should I choose to do that. It still wouldn't be the same though.
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