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OIC, you were going for the victim of racism angle.
As you should have concluded by now, it happens to people of all colors, sizes and gender.
No.
I am actually glad to see that it DOES happen to all sorts of people as I literally have never seen it happen to anyone else in real life. Except for this one guy at the airport once.
It is why I asked the question.
Here, I bet color does have *something* to do with it bc it is an area with a large demographic of brown people in the service industry.
I don't feel like a victim of anything. I am a friendly helpful person who will try to help if I know the answer.
The facts are that
a. people see my house/cars and ask what my husband does for a living (I don't have one)
b. none of my male physician colleagues are ever mistaken for "the nurse"
c. none of my white friends have ever been mistaken for the maid when they answer their own door
So, given my experience, iI don't think it is odd for me to wonder if race/gender plays a part in this situation.
If I really cared, I would bedeck myself in furs and diamonds every time I left the house instead of jeans, etc. But I am more curious than anything.
Several years ago, after a rash of broad-daylight muggings in the parking lot of a near-by strip mall, I stopped carrying a purse when shopping alone; preferring to slip my debit card, a couple of dollars and my phone in my pocket. Also, I frequently wear a heavy sweater in lieu of a coat unless the temp is sub-freezing; thus I end up looking like a store employee and some people do ask me where is/how much is/are you out of/.
If I know the answer, I tell them. If I don't, I simply say, "sorry, I don't work here". Neither answer has ever cost me anything so it doesn't bother me.
My favorites are the ones who come up to me and ask me "Do you know how much this is?" - in the Dollar Parlor!
When I used to be in sales, I would wear a suit and tie. I would have this happen a lot, as people would assume I was a manager or something.
Ha ha, I have had people think I was from their corporate office and making a "surprise" visit for an audit or look see or something else corporate related. I guess I was dressed the part.
I am actually glad to see that it DOES happen to all sorts of people as I literally have never seen it happen to anyone else in real life. Except for this one guy at the airport once.
It is why I asked the question.
Here, I bet color does have *something* to do with it bc it is an area with a large demographic of brown people in the service industry.
I don't feel like a victim of anything. I am a friendly helpful person who will try to help if I know the answer.
The facts are that
a. people see my house/cars and ask what my husband does for a living (I don't have one)
b. none of my male physician colleagues are ever mistaken for "the nurse"
c. none of my white friends have ever been mistaken for the maid when they answer their own door
So, given my experience, iI don't think it is odd for me to wonder if race/gender plays a part in this situation.
If I really cared, I would bedeck myself in furs and diamonds every time I left the house instead of jeans, etc. But I am more curious than anything.
My thoughts are that you are experiencing life just like everyone else.
Now, if many people are saying, "I don't want the brown woman physician, get me a white male!", you might have a valid concern. If one or two said something of that nature, then no, you just encountered a couple of ignorant people. However, I'm certain nothing like this ever happened because that would have been at the top of your list.
It is human nature to judge others on multiple levels. It's probably survival instinct to quickly try to size up others. Are you implying that you never incorrectly assessed something about another person? Something that could be construed as racist or sexist? That would be remarkable. I make a conscious effort not to, but I'm not perfect.
Many people have made all sorts of erroneous assumptions about me using preconceived ideas. It annoyed me when I was younger but these days I just blow it off. What they think doesn't affect what I was planning to do next.
Scrubs at Petco might make me think that you could be a dog groomer IF you weren't carrying a coat or a purse. I'm pretty observant though so even if that was an initial thought, I would have looked longer to figure it out. A ton of people in the world are not observant and a lot of people will go based of off the first thought that pops into their heads.
Well, I'm white and people have asked me if I've worked in a place before---but I definitely do not have a friendly face. (And I have seen people ask others if they've worked in a place before.) Honestly, I think people are just lazy and hope the closest person to them works there so they don't have to find someone to ask a question. Given your experiences and where you are, I could see why you would wonder, since you may have not lived in other areas. (Unless you have...)
Ooooh! That's gotta be it. If I'm out and about my purse is pretty much attached to me.
This thread has got me thinking, though. When I was in my 20's, this used to happen to me a lot (and I always carried a purse then too). I don't know when it stopped exactly, but no one has asked me this in many years. I don't dress up or down more than I did then. In very recent years I may move a little more slowly and lackadaisically, but that's a much newer development than people not thinking I work for the store.
I hadn't thought about it before, but now I'm puzzled.
Just smile, say that you are confused as well but will gladly help to scout for whatever. You might be surprised about how many pleasant conversations or good laughs you may be able to share.
Just smile, say that you are confused as well but will gladly help to scout for whatever. You might be surprised about how many pleasant conversations or good laughs you may be able to share.
That is pretty much already what I do.
Unless I really can't help.
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