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I recently started playing a new sport. We're all kind of amateurs (offered through the small town city park), although a few seem pretty serious about it. One of the organizers, a former coach, complimented me on my playing and offered to practice with me 1/2 hour before the official group start time, so I took him up on it and got some great tips. A few expressed surprise when they showed up at the usual time to find us already playing. The next night, I arrived about ten minutes early to find a dozen members of the group not only already there, but halfway through a game (the organizer wasn't there that night). I was the only one NOT playing; those 12 filled all the existing game space. So I obviously didn't get that memo. And if I didn't know better, I'd say this was was an organized giant<bleep> for the night before. But of course I know better, right? And I really try not to come off as paranoid. Your take?
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-02-2017 at 10:41 AM..
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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Since this is the first time, I wouldnt let it bother you. If it happens again or multiple times.... yeah it would be considered an (insert expletive) you.
Is it not obvious some kind of communication happened excluding me (not to say "behind my back")? There IS an e-mail list. Or am I to believe that all twelve just HAPPENED to show up at least 1/2 hour early, in order to be mid-game by then, for the first time ever by sheer coincidence?
I recently started playing a new sport. We're all kind of amateurs (offered through the small town city park), although a few seem pretty serious about it. One of the organizers, a former coach, complimented me on my playing and offered to practice with me 1/2 hour before the official group start time, so I took him up on it and got some great tips. A few expressed surprise when they showed up at the usual time to find us already playing. The next night, I arrived about ten minutes early to find a dozen members of the group not only already there, but halfway through a game (the organizer wasn't there that night). I was the only one NOT playing; those 12 filled all the existing game space. So I obviously didn't get that memo. And if I didn't know better, I'd say this was was an organized giant "FU" for the night before. But of course I know better, right? And I really try not to come off as paranoid. Your take?
I wouldn't automatically think it's an <bleep> I would assume that there were enough players that showed up early for them to try to squeeze in a game before the official start time. Or maybe some of the group organized a casual game before the start of the official playing time because they enjoy it so much.
Were you the only member of the group that was left out? Did they start another game once that one was finished to include those that showed up for the official start time?
I would have brought it up to some other members that same night "I didn't realize we were starting early tonight. Did I miss a email or text?"
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-02-2017 at 10:42 AM..
I think the message is, everyone there is equal and they all want to play and get better, and for some reason you are receiving a benefit from the coach they aren't offered, and they will get together on their own time to help each other improve. While you have your private lessons with the coach.
How would you feel in their situation - if you all have a coach, and you arrived for the usual group meeting to find one member of the group getting private lessons from the coach? Would you also be inclined to say well, is anyone else interested in extra play to help each other improve? That's what's going on here.
Extremely passive-aggressive. But then, I DID say "small town."
I think when you deal with competitive people ("a few seem pretty serious about it") they want to keep their edge and not feel like they're falling behind. You are obviously a skilled player, as evidenced by the fact that your coach sees potential in you and offered you extra help and encouragement.
Sometimes, when people reveal themselves you have to be grateful that you now have that information.
Were you the only member of the group that was left out? Did they start another game once that one was finished to include those that showed up for the official start time?
Maybe you aren't such a good player so the organizer wanted to try to help you out so you wouldn't get clobbered by the other guys. Then the other guys saw that you were getting some extra training, and they decided to band together and practice so they wouldn't get clobbered by the former guy who couldn't play so well.
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