Have had it with a nurse at my cancer clinic (feel, person)

[convextech]

Originally Posted by rlrl

Im a man in my early 50's, live by myself, still work full time, have a melanoma, stage IV (skin tumor spread into the lung) but no symptoms for 2-3 years.

Thought it might sound odd, I actually LOVE going to my oncology clinic. Its big bright and cheerful. I really like my oncologist and the other nurses except this one

My problem is her raising her voice to me and gritting her teeth at the same time. She just did it Friday in front of 20 people sitting waiting. This was because she was irritated because I didn't know what she was asking me to do (she was returning my FMLA papers so i could return them to my doctor). There are often long waits at that clinic and i am already fatigued and preoccupied

Last fall I feared I was getting an infection because i had a temp of 100.4 then 100.5, and i was given some stuff for a stool sample, and i was wondering if i would have to call my supervisor to get a replacement for me. I was very preoccupied and confused as to which papers go where. Her voice rises with "NO that's not what i told you", scolding and harsh.

Last year she rudely returned my paratransit forms from my doctor and asks me "where are YOU getting these services from"?

Once a "fellow" (doctor who works with the oncologist I always see him before the oncologist) gave me a choice if i want my prescriptions called in to my pharmacy or to write me a prescription. Somehow it wound up in her hands and making a nasty comment insinuating that i made her call in a prescription and why can't i just use the paper ones and 'go git it filled yoself." WHen I was having diarrhea from one of my treatments, she referred to it as "havin a pain in yo butt'.

Shes also been intrusive. She asked me "where are "YOU" going after this", she asks. I tell her im going to work. She then tells me "no that's not I mean". Shes asked me why i wear rings, why I wear such nice clothing and why i carry a workbag to appointments.

I don't know where to go to file a complaint. Id like to have it so im just switched to another nurse but it seems to be just her and one other. Maybe my social worker can help me? I don't want to make waves

Definitely report her to the head of the clinic. My cousin was treated badly while he was undergoing chemo and she was fired. People who don't have a good bedside manner do not belong in nursing, especially an oncology clinic.

[Tracysherm]

Every healthcare company has a Compliance Officer or a whole Compliance department. Find the contact information for them and report this.

Treating clients/patients with respect is an expected element of quality care, and many compliance officers are also in charge of ensuring and measuring quality of care (or perhaps they even have a whole Quality dept), in addition to investigating allegations of poor quality.

This is also more effective and "safer" than reporting it to other members of your treatment team, since the compliance dept must protect your confidentiality if you ask them to, and they can't gossip to co-workers about "that problem patient who made a complaint." Also, if there are other similar complaints about this nurse, the Compliance dept will probably be aware of it, and will ensure that any appropriate report is also made to HR.

[TUMF]

Originally Posted by rlrl

.....I don't know where to go to file a complaint. Id like to have it so im just switched to another nurse but it seems to be just her and one other. Maybe my social worker can help me? I don't want to make waves

Here's a thought...
Next time you go into that office, very calmly and quietly approach her.
Tell her that you've not appreciated the tone she's had with you and ask that if she cannot treat you with respect and patience, ask that she not tend to any of your medical needs.

Thank her for her understanding, and appreciate her response, even if it's to not wait on you.

She and you have a lot in common... You're both dealing in a stressful position - you on the receiving end, and her on the giving end. She has to deal with telling people and treating people that have a serious disease - you're having to deal with that serious disease.

I hope that she understands your comment, appreciates you telling her, and can adapt her way of dealing with you...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that disease, and I will include you in my prayers - and hope to hear that your cancer is gone soon!

May God's loving arms hold you and comfort you through your recovery!

[rlrl]

Mary Lee your post scares me. Yes I did go to an appt with my brother when he visited but having him act as a witness wasn't on my mind. Another better nurse prepared me that time. The thought of the doc saying find another place to go scares me. This a nationally recognized facility that advertises committment to quality. If you are not being treated well they want to know about it. They have a NY State Patient (forgot the name) the violation is #3 the right to be treated with respect. One thing--in the beginning of the session the nurse calls me "Sir" but if i make a "blunder" its all downhill from there

Flower Power--did you get your screename from the Stevie Wonder song Flower Power?

I took the day off cause i was so tired. Ill read the rest of the posts soon

[TheShadow]

Please ask another nurse who, in the clinic, you can write to to voice complaints about rudeness and bullying by a staff member. Then write a letter to that person and copy the doctor that you normally work with. If this clinic is part of a larger medical group, inquire who the patient advocate is for the entire medical group and copy that person too. This "lady" needs to be fired.

[PAhippo]

Would it be possible to have someone go with you? Then they can stand up to her. At the end of your appointment you may be too tired to do anything but leave.

[rlrl]

i just found online that there are customer care employees who are available to respond to complaints. however it appears that the numbers listed are for the different hospital campuses and therefore it means that its for experiences as being an INPATIENT. mine is at the dept of oncology near the hospital, for outpatients. perhaps by calling the inpatient facilicites they can direct me tp the one at the oncology clinic

[NeonGecko]

Tell the doctor. I had a similar situation with a nurse at a free clinic I was attending several years ago.

Now keep in mind I have memory and concentration problems which interfere with my ability to recognize people. I can't remember faces of people I see only occasionally, and I'm even worse with names. The only thing I could remember about this woman between visits was that she was older and heavyset, and her style of interaction - which was bullying, peremptory, short-tempered, and overbearing.

I would only see this woman for blood draws. I'm a "hard stick" and I have been all my life. Over the years I've found there are two ways people deal with that - they either call the one person in the facility who can actually do the job, or they don't care and start digging around with the needle. When I get stuck - no pun intended - with one of the latter, it results in real pain, multiple sticks, and bruises all up and down my arm.

I have learned the hard way to recognize the latter type, put my foot down, and insist on someone else to do the draw.

The first time I saw this woman, she stuck me, missed, and proceeded to dig around. By the time she was done, I was in tears and had a huge bruise and the needle site continued to bleed for several hours.

The next time I saw her, I of course did not at first recognize her. But I soon recognized her attitude and manner. I saw that she did not have the proper equipment - no one ever gets blood out of me without considerable pain (on my part) and effort (on their part) unless they use a butterfly needle. When I noticed that she did not have a butterfly needle on the tray, I told her she would need to get one. She refused and (lying) told me they don't stock butterfly needles in the clinic.

Keep in mind that this woman KNEW about my memory problems, and proceeded to try to manipulate me by using that against me. Trying to play on that and make me uncertain.

I told her to stop and she just kept going, until finally I tried to move my arm - and she actually grabbed it and tried to hold it in place and stick me anyway. I had to stand up, jerk my arm out of her hand, and take the tourniquet off myself.

Then she followed me out of the blood draw room, berating me all the way, to where my son was waiting for me. Then she tried to manipulate HIM to be on HER side against me, telling him how I was inconveniencing him for NO REASON by my "misbehaviour" and silly refusal to cooperate. She was really good at it, too, but my son isn't very susceptible to that kind of thing. He knew that if I was leaving, I had a good reason for it.

Thankfully she failed in her effort to set him against me and make him angry at me. I suspect she has had rather more success with that in other situations over the years.

At any rate, after we left, I reminded him of the time I came out bruised and in tears - and he did remember that. So even though *I* couldn't recognize her (until too late), HE could recognize her at first sight - and thus we avoided ever having to deal with her again.

We told the doctor what had happened - including her effort to set my son against me - and they put a note in my chart that this woman was not to ever do a blood draw for me again. I suspect that she may not have lasted there much longer, once alerted they would have been watching for her behavior with other patients as well. I can't say for sure, but I, at least, never had any interaction with her again.

When you are sick, you should not expect to be as able to stand up for yourself as you might be otherwise. DO get an advocate to help you to deal with the situation. DO tell your doctor. DO tell your social worker.

You should not have to deal with this at all, let alone on your own. Have another nurse assigned to you.

[silibran]

I wouldn't tell the doc, because it is likely that he doesn't own the practice, and doesn't have hiring and firing responsibilities. I would start with the social worker, or patient advocate if there is one, because either of these people are supposed to assist you and be on your side. Whichever of these you choose will know how to get the complaint to the proper people.

If you are handy with technology, it would be great to video this lady in action, and send it to the social worker. If she is as rude to everyone, then you should be able to do this when she is insulting to other patients.

I imagine that others have complained before, or at least have been subjected to her verbal abuse. You would be doing everyone a favor by talking to either the social worker, or a patient advocate if available. Be specific about what the clerk said to you. This is, to say the least, unprofessional. I can't believe it is tolerated. Say something!

It is perfectly OK for you to call her out, although it is best to do so without losing your own cool because doing so makes yo look bad. I do think that an official complaint is the way to go, though.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by rlrl

next time i go there will be 5/8 so i have some to decide what i want to do

yes, phone lady this a cancer clinic for god's sake

I've been in situations where people have felt free to speak to me that way. I simply state that they are not.

In your shoes, I would say something like, "There is no need to speak to me in that tone of voice. I am here to receive my treatment. If you continue to speak to me that way, and if you make this any more stressful or unpleasant than it absolutely has to be, I will have a discussion with your supervisor."

And if she does it again, follow up and do exactly what you said you would. If she treats you that way, she probably treats other patients that way, so consider it your good deed for your fellow patients to put Nurse Ratched in her place.