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I need a place to vent regarding my husband's friendship problem regarding a long time female friend of his.
The two of them became friends in the mid 1990's. Both of them were in their twenties. She also met a male friend of his back then, and the two of them started dating off and on. According to my husband, those two have been doing this for almost 20 years. At one point while my husband's female friend and his male friend were not dating, she and my husband started dating each other. Their dating relationship lasted a little over a month, according to my husband. After they broke up, they chose to be friends. This was long before he and I met.
Sometime last year she and the guy whom she dated off and on for almost 20 years got back together again. My husband and I have been out to dinner with the two of them several times. We have also hung out with the two of them at her place or at his place.
My husband has been on vacation since this past Monday. His female friend is aware of this. His birthday was earlier this week. The day before his birthday he received a call from his male friend *the one who is dating his female friend* regarding our coming over to his place so the four of us could celebrate his birthday. Later that night he called his female friend to see if she knew what time all four of us would get together since his male had not mentioned that information. She told him that his birthday plans were up in the air due to the fact that she did not have the money to celebrate his birthday.
Later on his male friend called him to let him know that he wanted to take him out to lunch on his birthday. I was getting off work the day of his birthday because I had to work 4 hours on Saturday April 11th, and my employer does not pay overtime. So I had to leave work 4 hours early the day of his birthday. I was told this on Tuesday. My husband called his male friend and asked him if he would mind if I came along. His male friend said OK.
While the 3 of us were out to lunch, his female friend called. According to what he told me, she asked him what he was doing. He let her know that the three of us were having lunch because his male friend *her boyfriend* wanted to take him out to lunch. She sounded upset to him when he told her this.
Today he received a text from her asking him 1) if the two of them were still friends since he has not called her this week and 2) why has he not called her this week.
He called her, but she did not answer the phone. So he left a message stating 1) I came home early the day of his birthday, 2) he was not aware that I was coming home early, and 3) he asked his male friend if I could come along.
According to my husband, his female friend gets jealous easily if she is not included in the celebration, get together and so on, which is why he did not tell her what really happened.
I am frustrated at what happened the day of his birthday as well as what happened today.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Really? I don't see the issue and definitely think your way over analyzing this. Just sounds like she was upset that she didn't get to go to the lunch. If she is still crying over it a year later then repost.
Really? I don't see the issue and definitely think your way over analyzing this. Just sounds like she was upset that she didn't get to go to the lunch. If she is still crying over it a year later then repost.
I agree. There really isn't any reason for the OP to get her feathers ruffled.
Sounds like the other couple has some communication problems since the guy suggested a party, but then she said no because of financial issues, then she wasn't informed about the lunch for some reason. All of which are no fault of your husband.
On a side note, your husband doesn't have to explain to her why you came along for the lunch, that will just reinforce her jealousy issues.
Maybe your husband can talk to his friend (the guy) about it? There could be trouble brewing in their relationship which is causing these kinds of situations.
Your hubby's lady friend is just a bit sensitive and likely wondered if she was excluded because she changed the original plans due to her finances. Changing the plans was not really cool so its haunted her. There is a very long history between all of you and I vote you guys all get together soon at your place for a glass of wine.
Sounds like the other couple has some communication problems since the guy suggested a party, but then she said no because of financial issues, then she wasn't informed about the lunch for some reason. All of which are no fault of your husband.
On a side note, your husband doesn't have to explain to her why you came along for the lunch, that will just reinforce her jealousy issues.
Maybe your husband can talk to his friend (the guy) about it? There could be trouble brewing in their relationship which is causing these kinds of situations.
Sounds like both couples have communication problems. This is what the OP wrote " 2) he was not aware that I was coming home early, and 3) he asked his male friend if I could come along". How do you not tell the person you're married to and on THEIR BIRTHDAY that you will be coming home 4 hours early?
In addition for people in their 40s, they all sound very immature. The female friend can't afford to do anything for his birthday? These are problems you have when you're in your early 20s not at middle age.
Sounds like both couples have communication problems. This is what the OP wrote " 2) he was not aware that I was coming home early, and 3) he asked his male friend if I could come along". How do you not tell the person you're married to and on THEIR BIRTHDAY that you will be coming home 4 hours early?
In addition for people in their 40s, they all sound very immature. The female friend can't afford to do anything for his birthday? These are problems you have when you're in your early 20s not at middle age.
seain dublin:
My husband knew that I was coming home early before the tentative plans regarding his birthday celebration were made. I let him know about this before the tentative plans were made.
He was the one who let her know that he was not aware that I was coming home early the day of his birthday when he left her a message on her answering machine after she sent him the text yesterday.
My husband was able to talk to his female friend today. Apparently she was upset because when she called him, he was busy paying for his lunch, and he had to quickly end their conversation. She felt that he had rushed her off the phone, and she wondered if we were mad at her.
So apparently that is the reason for her text yesterday.
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